Movie Reviews (351-400)
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Half-part Monty Python reunion as Michael Palin and John Cleese reunite for a crazy heist movie that is everything else than political correct and animal lovers will experience it is hard to swallow the cruel violent deaths to animals in the film.
Italian horror splatter movie with a great soundtrack of hard rock favorites. It is fast paced with memorable disgusting scenes of grotesque makeup where women gets their face ruined or ripped away by puss and the movie is full of memorable blood effects. A helicopter suddenly falling through a roof is only the tip of the iceberg of crazy twists we get served and the ending is surprisingly depressing. Sadly there are also some stupid things in the film. Why the hell go a blind man to a horror movie? The film is filled with characters that deserve to die like an over-the-top pimp, naive teenagers and unlikeable drug addicts. The movie is clumsy edited too.
Call this a parallel story of what happens at the same time as the original since the story is basically a copy of the original. Even some of the same terrible actors from the original returns in different roles. Puppet like Gremlins-type demons are hilariously bad and there is even a worser looking zombie dog. It has several loose threads and I hate it's ending. Asia Argento is very watchable though as a young trapped child in peril with monsters all around her is a powerful moment and there is some effective make-up and deaths that is hard to forget.
Surprisingly effective tragic zombie love story for lesbians. Catherine is a interesting and effective character that knows that she is evil, but can't stop her hunger for warm bodies. It has gruesomely detailed blood sequences and especially satisfying is how the movie dispatches an annoying photographer in the most gruesome manner. The Gothic atmosphere of erotic and death is strong and I felt the story had similarities to "Hellraiser" in how a woman takes living human prey to her lover. The ending is memorable and disturbing. It is a little primitive in it's editing and it builds up slowly which I like. With the exception of the two leads it is pretty terrible acting at times.
I really like the concept of unlocking dark Satanic mysteries in old dusty books that no one has read and it all feels like a cool supernatural film noir and I love this atmospheric slow horror movie. Great actors and the women look gorgeous. It may lack any real surprise and the final shot feels like an afterthought that you either will love or hate, but I liked it. So send me to hell.
Sequel that undermines the beautifully poetic ending of the original and this movie should have had a different movie title to really be satisfying. It tries to be deeper and more meaningful than the original something that doesn't really work and it takes long time before the vengeance kicks in. Good choreographed fighting sequences and the heroine is still compelling.
Pictures tells more than words sometimes. Great use of REAL bears interacting together with humans in a story of a real infant bear trying to survive alone in the big wild. Excellent use of the camera and I love the natural sounds that make the bear sound like a baby. More beautiful and exciting than thousands of films with only humans in it. This kind of movie will not be possible to do anymore as someone would shout out and say the animals are not treated right or the actors are in danger or something else kind of shit and the bear would all be fake-looking CGI effects or a stand-in actor in bear costume. This is one-of-a-kind fantastic movie.
FUCK all those rip-off "lost footage" movies this is the original one and it is more intense, bloodier and grotesque than any of the films that followed it. HELL, the director was even suspected of manslaughter. Even for all it's brutality director Deodato has some good comments on how journalists "make up" their own sensation stories in what is the ultimate cannibal movie of all time. It is though hard to justify scenes where people slaughter several REAL animals and the terrible use of background music ruin the realism. The introduction scene in New York is nonsense too.
A visually breathtaking horror movie with gorgeous use of it's sets. Extremely artistic with some of the most intense and memorable death sequences put on film. Jessica Harper is a classy and beautiful starlet that seem taken from a silent movie production and put into a color and sound film. Goblin's unique music add an extra dimension to the film. Only a few terrible supporting actresses threaten to ruin the film.
The slasher horror saga continues and it feels like a natural continuation from the original and both Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Pleasance are still in it - together. Some good slasher deaths too as Michael Myers goes through a lot of nurses and guards in order to get to his planned victim who stays in the hospital. The syringe in the eye is still a brutal memorable moment. This is not really that bad a sequel. It is just inferior to the original, but it has grown on me during the years and it feels like a natural expansion so I'm happy.
That someone even dared to change the rules of the game by suddenly deciding to skip the entire Michael Myers-saga (since Jamie Lee Curtis dropped out) and instead try to start an annual new horror story for every year with its own idenity, style and scares is not just ambitious but on the scale of mad genius.... had it only worked. An annoying repetitive commercial jingle makes you want to tear out your eardrums and throw the bloody parts on the screen before the film is finished. The film seem more targeted to children with the exception of a dark death scene involving a drill. The film title is really against this one as this is more a variation of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" with comedic moments than a true horror movie.
The Ups: An excellent movie title and a bunch of great cult actors collected in one movie. Tom Atkins' role is excellently executed. A couple of stunts are fantastic for a lowbudget film. The problem is that the film really doesn't know if it wants to be a horror/slasher movie with a killer cop or an action movie with a supernatural element. It could have needed more humor as well as it takes itself damn serious at times. The off-screen killings is also a little disappointing. Bruce Campbell is also not as great here as he can and could have been.
Two short movies directed by two masters of filmed horror, George A. Romero and Dario Argento, who have adapted the master of written horror, Edgar Allan Poe. Great actors, especially Harvey Keitel in Dario Argento's "The Black Cat". Argento's short is excellent in how it has reference to other works from the writer and has great visual touches and is pretty grim in how it is directed while the zombie story "The Facts in the Case of Mr. Valdemar" fits Romero perfectly he doesn't manage to do much new with it and it's overlong. The ending to the "Black Cat" is a tiny bit underwhelming too.
A fever-like erotic dream with poetic talking vampires trying to have sex with two young non-virgins who tease and fuck everyone. It could almost pass as a silent movie since it is almost completely without dialogue during half it's running time. The female leads are attractive on the eyes and it has a unique gothic atmosphere. And what other movie has a scene where a rubber-bat gives a chained woman oralsex? Since a lot of the movie was improvised on the spot there is a lot of slow pacing. Unrealistic effects.
"Vampires" has a horror/western feel, a cool James Woods as a vampire hunter and Sheryl Lee at her most gorgeous. It should have been excellent, but many of the action sequences repeat itself and are uninspired. Thomas Ian Griffith is a shitty villain and overacts every second he is on screen. Boring finale.
Seems like an old-fashioned action movie that just happen to take place on Mars at first glance and with John Carpenter directing this should be a good movie, but the cast is terrible and the best one, Pam Grier, disappear off-screen after a short time. The script is terrible filled with crap dialogue and ruined further by over-the-top laughable villains. I wanted really to love the movie, but still I could not find anything good about it, except Pam.
An impressive debut about a man's decent into mathematical madness, even someone who hate math can love this film. It is filmed in glorious 16mm black and white photography with hypnotic electronica music that draws me in. Excellent frenetic editing and use of camera. Excellent comments about religion and nature itself and about finding order in chaos. The ending is like an echo of another favorite of mine, "Videodrome". While it tries to be meaningful, smart and intelligent it is unforgiveable that they manage to have the Pi number wrong in the opening sequence. Sloppy. Real sloppy.
The Ups: Superior psychological thriller with a small dose of supernatural horror to give that extra feel of excellence. Complex but rewarding story with good characters. Excellent direction. It can be a tiny bit confusing at times and deserve many viewings in order to catch every layer of it's story as it could be interpreted differently each time.
There is only one James Bond movie that deserves to be called the worst ever and it's this one. A stupid parody so messed up and confusing that they needed five directors in order to finish it. I'm in sore need of a navigation map in order to understand this meaningless story. The ending is a spit in the face and makes just as much sense as the rest of the film. One of the worst big-budget failures I have ever seen. Orson Welles as the villain - acting as a magician - is the only good thing in the movie. A shame he never got to be in the official 007 movies. A couple of good-looking Bond babes too help but that is all.
A fantastic atmospheric film. It is full of fantastic stuff: Jennifer at her most angelic, the fall into a pit of rotting cadavers, it's gruesome memorable murders, the monkey with the slasher knife, the mutant kid, the crazy professor played by Donald Pleasance and the great music, especially Bill Wyman's haunting "The Valley". The lack of logic add to the dreamy surrealistic feel of it all making this a favorite film. Only the abrupt ending ruin a tiny bit to my liking.
The start of Pixar. Computer effects was shown to the world as something that could create great animation shorts and films as we get to see two lamps and a ball interacting. Fun to have seen but it feels primitive now when we know how fast the technology has evolved.
It is always nice to see someone have it worse than yourself - in this case a snowman in a globe who can't get to the gorgeous girl in bikini.
Impossible not to love these nagging and selfish small birds that try to be really mean to the long-legged good-hearted one as those pesky bastards want the telephone line to themselves.
Anyone who have gotten a new car with WAY TOO MUCH electronic equipment will laugh and have fun with this one - and it stars our favorite blue furry giant and green one-eyed monster.
The Ups: Cute Pixar short with fun details about a jumping goat but it is pretty forgettable though and is all about getting up again after falling flat on one's face.
Feels like a modern Pixar retelling of an old Aesop fable. Someone will probably find the child to be both mean and ruthless at the end but I loved the morale of this one.
Great idea and premise about a superhero baby, but the babysitter has an annoying voice that ruin much for me. Mainly for fans of the "Incredibles" movie.
It is probably better than the "Cars" sequel, but this "Cars" story is mostly for those Mater-fans out there as the ghost story is not as funny as itself thinks.
The Ups: One of Pixar's funniest short films about an alien going up to exam in human-abduction - and failing. No moral. No dialogue. It is only here to please us in funny slapstick moments.
Solid Graphic novel adaptation about how violence lead to a domino-effect on an entire family and the psychological effects it has on them. William Hurt doing one of his best appearance in God knows how long by growing himself a goatee and doing a mean character. The rest of the cast is also excellent as we get Viggo, Ed and Maria in top form. Some of the twists are pretty obvious and clear for one who have seen some films throughout his lifetime, but it is nice that Cronenberg have a mainstream hit so he can get money to continue making his more weird and inaccessible stuff.
Excellent directed science fiction with epic atmosphere and Charlton Heston doing one of his most memorable roles delivering some of his most quoted lines. The ape makeup still holds okay up today even if we have come a long way since 68. A lot of memorable moments. The ending has sadly been spoiled and it is practical impossible NOT to have heard about it in some setting and this could also be one reason why some would skip the film as it doesn't surprise anymore, but the fact is it still kick a punch decades later even when I know how it ends.
The shockingly depressing ending to this sequel manage to overshadow the original's and I sat almost thunderstruck in awe back in the seat afterwards. It would never have been green-lighted in today's need for box office figures and actually left a scar on my soul. The gorgeous Linda Harrison continue to run around in skimpy clothes, but it is impossible to get close to the original in scope and story as the effects and makeup are not that good. Charlton Heston disappearing from the face of the planet until the climax and being replaced by a forgettable James Franciscus is also a bad move and is what may make many people turn this film off and that is a shame because if you experience the ending...
It may not be logic that the Apes would manage to take a shuttle and travel back in time, but at least it manage to make sense of making a sequel after the ending of film 2. The apes become the heroes and we have a lot more of needed humor after the way too serious second one. The ending is another downbeat ending in the Apes-saga that makes sense but leave a lump in the throat.
Action-filled chapter as we get to see the war/riot between ape and man. It is back to a more darker storyline and no humor is present. It was cut and re-shot by stupid worried producers at the time (but luckily everyone can now see the complete version on Blu-Ray!).
Roddy McDowall is again reliable as the most sympathetic ape as we get a satisfying full circle with the original movie. "Ape never kills Ape" is a memorable quote sadly the budget is too low to give us a real satisfying final battle but the plan and idea is acceptable for a watch (just like the previous one).
One of the most effective horror characters in the 1980s showing his true colors before he became a comic parody of himself in the sequels. Excellent teenage actors. Johnny Depp getting sucked by his own bed. The terrible fate of Amanda Wyss. The scenes are surprising and inventive up to an ending that is sadly a little useless and annoying to be honest.
The Ups: "You are all my children now!" and redheaded Kim Myers is the best thing with a sequel that forgot what made the original interesting with Freddy suddenly appearing outside the dream landscapes and changing it's own logic. The exploding parrot, a bus bought at Toys'r'us and Freddy suddenly taking a liking to teenage boys are embarrassing moments that will make any Freddy fan face-palm themselves.
The only good "Nightmare" movie not directed by Wes Craven. Patricia Arquette at her most beautiful. Heather Langenkamp returning to kick some ass together with John Saxon. Good inventive ideas and surrealism. Robert Englund getting the chance to have some fun with the role without becoming too camp. The hilarious cameo from Zsa Zsa Gabor. Dokken's title song. It is the only watchable sequel untill the "kind-of reboot" seventh one.
Robert Englund makes this film bearable and fun even if it goes against everything that the character stands for as Freddy is meant to be evil and scary not a comedic anti-hero as he gets to be a comedian in the fourth entry. Good effects and inventive deaths help but the film goes too far by killing off established characters so that director Renny Harlin can make his own horror superhero movie. Patricia Arquette is even replaced by Tuesday Knight and she does a terrible job at it.
The Ups: At least the series still have a red thread with elements that are continued from the former one. Robert Englund is still watchable, but the death sequences and dreams are on auto-pilot now. A terrible child actor don't help either and there is an obvious ending and laughable story about Krueger needing a protege. Close to being the worst film but barely as the second one is so much more stupid.
Underwhelming ending to the series even if it is in 3D as Freddy fights to "his death". Too many one-liners and "fun" ideas mixed together in a soup as the film seem to cram in as much gimmicks as possible. The cameo from Johnny Depp is disappointing and terrible and this chapter becomes the most forgettable of all the films.
Surprising postmodern sequel that not only have fun with the franchise but is also a love letter to the fans. It also reinvents the story to make a definitive ending with great homages to former entries. Wes Craven play himself as a crazy old demented director and the film series' real boogeyman as all the terrors he creates become reality. Loving Heather Langenkamp come back as she was the heart of the films and makes the leading actress bearable again. This will always be the definitive ending to the series for me and the chapter "Freddy vs. Jason" takes part between the former one and this "reality" based one. Only the climax could have been better.
Freddy and Jason actually fit each other pretty good as they are both teenage killers as they go fight for who gets the most souls. The blood effects are stronger and more detailed now than during their "Golden Age" which should attract new gore hounds and Robert Englund really enjoying himself in what is seemingly his last appearance as Freddy. Sadly, the comprise of an ending doesn't satisfy anyone and the teenagers lack personality which makes it hard to care for anybody else than the supernatural killers.
Fun to see macho hero Kurt Russell making a fool out of himself as a stupid and useless truck driver loser with a lot in his mouth and nothing in his brain fighting supernatural kung-fu fighters. Like the whimsy feel and how it mixes fantasy into it and there are some fun FX in the film. The ending ask for a sequel that will never come.
The Ups: Great premise where dogs try to stop Ernst Stavro Blofeld's Persian cat into ruling the world. Highlights is the colorblind dog trying to cut a wire before the bomb explodes and the Ninja cats. But, the dogs are boring compared to the villainous cats which make them hard to root for. The humans also drag the pace down, down, down.
Superior science fiction film noir, excellent actors and a riveting story just like one of my favorite films from the 1980s, "Blade Runner". I love it's atmosphere, characters and it's ending. It also has bizarre unique villains. It also has some of the same ideas as "The Matrix" but a whole year before it had premiere. A decade later I got to see the director's cut too, which is superior to the theatrical one as it skips the annoying voice-over from Kiefer Sutherland and makes the film even better. A masterpiece.
Ingmar Bergman tackles the hard issues as this is absolutely not a film for depressed pregnant women or parents as it includes both child murder and suicide. Great photography from Sven Nykvist make this a fantastic black and white film and I love the experimental camera style. It is fascinating to compare a movie from liberal Sweden in 1949 to censor-controlled USA and their hard control over films at that time which would never have passed this film at that time.
Excellent Russian animation short full of symbolism and madness. Unique style that will scare any child that have only grown up on colorful and un-complex Disney films.
Beautiful Chinese art movie about thieves in the old days. This is a romantic action fantasy of the type that the Chinese can make so fantastic and they even get away with a tragic ending. Memorable battles in a snowstorm, bamboo forest and in fields. Visually it is a feast for the eyes and pure cinematic magic to behold. Excellent use of folk music too.
A delicious wicked antihero killing both innocents and "those who deserve it" as he takes his revenge and justify his deeds in order to become the first in line to get a big inheritance. It is a near to a perfect black comedy with Alec Guinness playing the roles of all the bizarre family members who end up killed. Only the artificial moralistic ending that must have been put there to please the producers feels "off".
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