Movie Reviews (1501-1550)
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As a origin story this version of Fantastic Four holds pretty much the original story intact in how the four got their powers but it is a rushed production and somehow feel more like a pilot movie to a TV-show with effects and ideas that look cheaper than they should be. Michael Chiklis is also the best "Thing" with the film being believable both as Ben Grimm and in his monstrous appearance. The film's best moments also come from the humorous bantering between The Human Torch and The Thing which they kept intact from the comics but sadly they lost out on the other half of the superteam with Jessica Alba and Ioan Gruffurd terribly miscast and doing so bad a job that the film killed their rising careers. Changing Dr. Doom's origin story from being a ruler in his own kingdom to become a fellow scientist fighting over a woman was also stupid and make the film seem more like a soap opera. A few good action moments but mostly a bad, boring film and absolutely not fantastic.
Makes the original movie look like a classic as this one discard it's comic book origins and ruining established characters. Silver Surfer appear as a bland boring CGI character and Galactus is a fucking cloud? You know what to expect if you saw the original as this has the same director, cast and style. Don't even remember what the threat or story was about.
A cool masculine movie with some tough men roughing things up. Ronald Reagan feels natural playing a bad guy slapping around women and ordering men to get killed in his final feature film before going political. Angie Dickinson is at her most glamorous and dangerous. It was originally made for TV but was deemed to violent and ambitious so it had to be released in cinemas and it is a pretty good production if one take in account it was made with the budget of TV productions. Gene L. Coon ruined "Star Trek" with some of the most stupid stories ever made so how was it then possible for him to write this without totally ruining this too? Some music used is too intense and over-dramatic typical for 1960s TV though but mostly this is an entertaining film.
A fast-paced low budget action movie mixed with "Groundhog Day" that was hugely influential on Hollywood who even stole the red wig done by Franka Pontente for "Alias". It is strange how enchanting it is to see an attractive running young woman with techno music and fast-edited use of animation, MTV music video styles and still photographs. It is truly an experimental production that works perfectly for this action fairy tale.
Low-budget science fiction adventure movie with a Jules Verne type of story. Some charm to be found and the two leads doing the expedition make up a good team but the film is not up the standards of other Universal movies. Unnecessary dance sequences and an unrealistic avalanche sequence add to this film's problems and the make up is bad.
This is the only film I know of where you get to see a man have sex with a pinball machine. There are also a ugly creepy demonic spider woman hanging around and weirdly choreographed fight sequences. A human transformer can transform himself into a motorcycle too. Add this strangeness with some of the most corny and idiotic dialogue I have seen thrown on screen. It is based upon a Manga story that has to be better than this confused film.
It is a remake of one of the mostatmospheric ghost pictures so how come this lacks everything the original had and adds a lot of false scares instead to compensate? Stupidly over-the-top made up gory men and CGI fog ruins any form of dread this movie could have had. Tom Welling is one-note and has no depth in his acting and scream queens Selma Blair and Maggie Grace are forgettable. There isn't any form of tension, danger or scary scenes. This is one of the most pointless, hated and boring remakes that I have ever seen and even worse it is BAD....BAD...BAD...
Competent slow-burner of a lawyer conspiracy thriller written by John Grisham that has an intriguing story that still engages even if it is far-fetched. Denzel Washington and Julia Roberts made an excellent team together and are engaging to look on screen. The film has a classic style and is directed with focus on the plot and not action sequences and made by the "creator" of the modern conspiracy genre, Alan J. Pakula. The biggest problem for this film is the enormous quantity of conspiracy thrillers in numerous years that are faster, more explosive, sexier, glossier and more dramatic than this film. Some will probably even think this one too slow and boring in comparison and that it has dated horrendously, but I liked it and felt it evolves like a good book.
Memorable grasshopper that talks and laughs like Goofy play the violin singing a catchy song, "The World Owes Me a Living". Even the smallest one in the family sat through the entire short so this one is good for everyone.
A cute cartoon about trees and flowers dancing and one bad villain too. It is the first three color animation short movie and it makes me wish for the spring again when it is winter outside. Not the funniest of the Disney shorts maybe but one of the cuter one.
Especially noteworthy for being the first appearance of Donald Duck in an immortalized Aesop fable. Only a boring song ruins this charming moral lesson.
Entertaining thriller with tongue-in-cheek have fun with it's twists and it seems like the cast have a jolly good time with it too. Added value is seeing delicious scream queen dream girl Ashley Laurence as horny publicist and some dialogue that is so wild that it is hard to take serious. The Narrating voice over destroys the element of "surprise" that is in the film and the film could have needed better cinematography.
Sequel to the Academy Award nominated "Elling" and both cast and original director returns to the task. It is a darker, more somber affair that tries to bring up some afterthought to the characters as Elling's protected sphere is now broken down when he discover the need for love - a love that can not be granted him. The film comes out as a realistic story and a memorable scene is when Elling is found in his greasy and rundown apartment and his constant need for lying himself into a better person. I like that the film doesn't compromise and give us the easy Hollywood solution to our hero's problems. Therefor it will also split the crowd as it is not the same type of crowd pleaser as the original. Elling is shown here to really have a sickness that he has to live with and that his life is a downer with only a few good moments with friends that understand him that can help him through it. Sad to see Alfons' fate in this movie but it was a realistic move as that would probably have turned Elling's rehabilitation into relapse.
You get reunited with all your Shrek favorites for the holiday season. Sadly it is in a terrible story. Shrek has not learned anything from "Shrek Forever After" and treats his friends like trash. Predictable outcome and morals. Worst though is that is so boring and unfunny. Why do most of these Christmas specials have to be so stiff and lifeless.
Three small kittens and one big mean one for the price of one. The cute eyes duel and the whispering villain are moments in this short that is much better than numerous scenes in the "Shrek" sequels. It all feels like a pilot movie for the TV-series though.
The Ups: You get to see your favorite fairy tale characters sing their version of popular songs briefly in a short that feels like a hidden commercial for Simon Cowell and it was not a single moment where I laughed. It is cute, yes, but funny, no.
The Ups: Beautiful recreation of the 1970s. Eva Green always deliciously sexy (and typecast) as witch looks gorgeous even in a blonde wig. Beautiful sets and an excellent soundtrack also help. In tune with some of the soap operatic elements of the original TV series, but sadly it decides to also go the whimsical route ruining any potential with too much cheap humor that is not even funny. A lot of the what should have been an excellent ensemble is wasted as the cast has nothing to do since the movie turns out to become another movie centered around Johnny Depp and his character with the others reacting to stupid stuff. Who can say they remember what Michelle Pfeiffer did in this film? I love Alice Cooper but there is no reason for him showing up in this movie and singing a few lines from a couple of his most famous tunes when we instead could have had four or five normal scenes instead. A wasted opportunity of a film, but still more interesting than Tim Burton's children movie projects that has lacked edge to it.
Seeing Morgan Freeman "grilling" Gene Hackman while Monica Belluci show off her delicious butt as an added bonus can be enough to see this film, but director Stephen Hopkins do the the huge mistake of visualizing all the theories that come on the table when the movie would have benefited seeing Hackman just retelling the story. It would also have helped the film had it been Morgan Freeman who was under suspicion as Hackman has been typecast numerous times as a bad guy in later years so it is hard to see him actually being a good one here.
Made almost instantly after the end of the Jugoslavic civil war it tries to be a honest view on how war destroys everyone and that no side is innocent except for the numerous civilians killed. Dennis Quaid do one of his most honest and believable underrated performances. A local actress from the region steal scenes in powerful role. Since this was made by a Serbian director which is controversial as he portray all sides as equally evil and violent which will trigger some outcry from the Bosnian side since they suffered genocide by the Serbs.
Sequel that has an almost straight copycat story of the original - only done worse and with stupider characters. A few visual inspired scenes like the "Psycho" homage and the story about a jealous husband on a killing spree during a porn film shoot has some originality in it and it is nice to see Robert Patrick in a heroic role again. Bruce Campbell appear in a different film all together with Tiffany Amber-Theissen in a "fake start" to the film where the two are killed off in an elevator by vampire bats that is actually the most memorable thing in the film.
Based on a true story it show how crucial it is to seek after the truth even when hitting obstacles and seemingly being stuck with clues and the "right man". James Stewart is fantastic in the title role (as if that is something new), but the film has also dated since it premiered with all long time used to tell us how a lie detector works. Boring narrator in the beginning and end of the movie also don't help.
Beautifully shot coming-of age movie about lesbian Japanese schoolgirls in uniforms. The girls look good and are believable in a talky, relaxed picture where love is shared through looks alone as not even a kiss is shared here. Subplot about end-of-season school play is boring and has a painful "out of closet" poet speech at the end.
A better "Superman" movie than some of the live-action movies I have seen and it's premise is intriging: "what happens when the bad guy wins". Great soundtrack and a lot of fun gags, but it is ruined somewhat by the fact that Megamind is not purely evil and only needs love to be changed and some will probably think that the ending is a huge cop-out.
Origin story is not that unique so one get's a feeling that there is stuff that has been threaded on before, but Benedict Cumberbatch nails the character as an arrogant doctor who discover he his career is ruined after a car accident when he discover there is also magic in the world. Suddenly the Marvel series seem to open up to tons of entertaining new stories again with infinite worlds to explore. One of the better music scores too and memorable visuals that are hard to take my eyes from. Mads Mikkelsen looks great and menacing but never get to relish as a villain as he basically plays a foot soldier for a much bigger force that only appear briefly. Resolution may not be entirely satisfying as natural law (and time) is broken even if it is said that this will have consequences (in a possible sequel that deserves to come sooner than later).
Roy Scheider returns as Sheriff Brody in this dated and slow follow-up. The mechanic shark still looks unbelievably evil and hungry but I hoped the shark would eat more of the annoying teenagers. Some mild excitement when the shark attacks and actually manage to drag a helicopter underwater. Jeannot Schwartz is no Spielberg and the script is almost identical to the original except that this time Brody goes on the shark hunting alone.
Most reason for seeing the third movie is if you see it in 3D making the boobs of Lea Thompson bigger and for the effect of being inside a shark's mouth when it devours Simon MacCorkindale. Any attempt at a believable story is thrown out in the sea as the shark only substitutes what is usual a crazy masked killer with a weapon going on a full killing spree by this point. This was actually planned as a spoof movie with an opening where the franchise writer, Peter Benchley, getting eaten by a shark in his private pool while Bo Derek's nude boobs was seeing bouncing around on the street. NOW, that would have been an epic movie as this movie is basically Jurassic Park with sharks getting out of control, but without any charm or fun to it.
The Ups: It is fast-paced "Duel" copy. Rhona Mitra is so lifeless in her role that even after experiencing her third car crash she doesn't emote a single new facial expression. I started to think that there could actually be a twist in the movie and she was actually already dead as if this was a kind-of "Carnival of Souls" twist. The director has done the superior thriller "The Hitcher" that I recommend to see instead as this is on the other side of the rating list.
The Ups: Norway's most important WW2 historic moments are told through the eyes of Hollywood with added machine gun fires. Actually it is closer to an entertaining Alistair MacLean pulp thriller without that being a bad thing. Even Anton Diffring has an expected turn as a nasty blonde blue-eyed Gestapo officer. Great shots of Norwegian landscape perfect for tourism marketing is fun but it is not very historic accurate. One-man show Kirk Douglas seem more keen to a one man heroic action show when the event happened without a single shot fired.
The Ups: Enough walking corpses and sex to be a strange and sometimes hilarious sexplotation movie from Jess Franco who satisfies his inner desires again. Some solid camera work, but there is no mansion here but a hotel and the film is filled with stupid characters and fake rubber faces. This film is only to see unknown European girls stripping for the camera while dreaming of one time becoming a starlet. It will sadly not happen after this film.
Long-awaited third installment continues the saga and Jeffrey Combs is luckily back as the crazy scientist, Herbert West, again. The film is filled with macabre blood effects, but the story feels too much as a reboot at times as the story threads on familiar ground. Rest of cast from two first films are sorely missed as the new additions are not that good, except for a good-looking nurse that is turned into a zombie with human feelings. The moment when a rat starts to fight with a still living severed penis is a sick absurd cinematic moment.
Third movie seem at times to be a dark sadistic version of Tobe Hooper's sequel. Some tense moments and gruesome moments are memorable and the female lead give a soul shattering performance that I liked. The film must be seen uncut though as the obvious censorship problems: strange edits and pace problems ruin the experience if you see the theatrical cut. Unrealistic happy ending also don't work.
POW survival movie inspired upon true events which make this a compelling drama. Extreme weight loss from many of the actors who definitely take their roles seriously with Christian Bale doing a strong performance eating even live worms, but it is Steve Zahn who register most emotionally with me as he show strong dramatic range as I found Bale being a little too all-knowing and arrogant at times. Sad that he is usually typecast as a comedic sidekick, but making one of the prisoners a kind-of villain and doesn't feel believable for one second. Movie title is also a little problematic as it made me think at first it was a kidnap movie called "rescue Dawn" about a girl who has to be saved.
Dyanne Thorne still look like the ulimate S&M queen in this kind-of sequel (maybe it is a prequel), but it is the particularly sleazy "Arabic" sheik played by Jerry Delony that steal the show. Over-the-top dialogue help and it was good that the film skipped the brutal torture and gore sequences as this is a much sexier and fun movie than it's original, but some will probably find this one too tame looking for the brutality of the original.
There was a time when sex was still fresh and innocent and one could even have animated fun with it exposing it to curious teenagers who didn't dare to explore the real deal. Story is also of the adult movie type: not great. This movie is terribly dated today as anyone wanting to see an animated porn movie either download a Hentai film with bodily fluids or go directly to a internet site showing the real deal with a gorgeous girl next-door instead.
Biographic movie about a woman that took the choice of being a nun. It feels authentic, believable and real and the acting is top-notch - with a whopping seven future-or-past Academy Award winners. Gorgeous design also help, but I thought we never really came under the skin of the leading character. Audrey Hepburn really tries but this is the fault in the script and not the actress. Also a tiny bit too long for it's own good.
Simplistic movie about faith and belief is powerful due to it's simple nature make this a film where one has to accept the words and actions of the characters as it has no effects making it important that you have to believe yourself in the story and what happens on screen. A fascinating psychological study and an absorbing look into a world where miracles can happen if you only let even the most "crazy" voice be heard instead of being ridiculed.
Interesting psychological thriller that give us some horrific imagery. Acceptable acting and pretty good directed for a low-budget movie except for the unbelievable bad car chase with an inept sheriff who breaks any form of police protocol and logic and the strange reasoning from the killer.
Typical "psycho infiltrate likable family" plot with not the smartest heroes around: Why doesn't our couple get help from someone else to stop this crazy bastard instead of trying to solve this for themselves? At least the film is fun with Ray Liotta in psychopathic mood and Madeleine Stowe at her sexiest. Over-the-top use of a gun in the final scenes which would force leading hero Kurt Russell to go into prison for many years even if there is someone trespassing his house.
A long interesting two hour interview with Stan Lee done by enthusiast and filmmaker Kevin Smith. Lee and Smith manage to keep the flow and interest up for most of the long duration with enthusiasm and interesting stories and tidbits, but while there is no question Stan Lee has created many major characters in the comic book industry he forgets to give credit when credit are due. Hell, he even takes credit for creating mythical characters like Thor. WTF? Some stuff is also trivial that anyone remotely interested in comic books already know. Kevin Smith also interrupts and finishes sentences so many times one have to question if the interview has been staged and scripted beforehand at times.
The first full-blooded exploitation rape-revenge movie that has been done in Norway. Isabel Vibe gets to do "serious" acting after doing several XXX-rated porn efforts and is acceptable and good-looking but this is a copycat production of "I Spit On Your Grave" with minor adjusted brutal touches. Unconvincing acting from every supporting actor, laughable gore effects and low production values shows that this was shot in ten days.
Fast driving cars. Jessica Simpson in a bikini. Plot reminiscent of a "Smokey and the Bandit" movie which is probably why Burt Reynolds arrive as a villain. If you like idiotic "Jackass" humor it brings up a laugh or two if one has low expectations from the get-go, but this is a disrespectful "fuck you" to the fans of the show making jokes on it's behalf as it seem mostly interested in delivering sex jokes from the lips of Willie Nelson who seem to be country music's dirty grandpa. Annoying leads and stupid in every department.
Suspense, grotesque make-up and horror is so toned down that it is a full-blooded comedy for this sequel. Plot also rehashes the original but does every scene with less inspiration. Supporting cast from original suddenly appear again for no apparent reason even if they have died playing the same characters with different name now (is this some kind of parallel universe story?). Ken Wiederhorn done some excellent cult favorites prior and after this film, but this was a major disappointment that lacks everything that made the original great.
One of the worst productions I have seen made by a director who blend every sick violent imagery and porn movie they have seen in their life in an adult movie. It doesn't help when the sex is uninspired and the blood effects seem made by a five-year-old.
The Ups: Star-filled extravaganza. John Ford tries to repair some of his one-note portrayals of Native Americans in his last production. Slowly paced as if it is self aware that it is not only a funeral march for Native Americans but also for the western career of John Ford. Latin Americans play the true Americans (a practice that was normal until mid 1980s) but disappointing as I had hoped that an influential director as Ford had managed to put them in these crucial roles so late in his career. Anti-climatic ending with a knowing wink as the politician is played by the biggest film gangster of all time, Edward G. Robinson, gives a loving but unconvincing speech of peace and love between "old" and "new" Americans when in real life this same type of character decided that everyone should be shot down like cattle. A humorous intermission segment is also worth a look between all the drama.
It is one of the least entertaining Steven Seagal movies I have ever seen. Does he think that he has the acting chops to play a serious role? Why doesn't he break a neck or do any cool hand moves? This movie was the beginning of the end for Steven as a big action star as every movie afterwards has been released direct to video. Villains are extremely stupid too and the threat while having some realism in it is not something I relate to or believe in here. Western legend L.Q. Jones has a major supporting role and save a little bit of the movie with some nice charming moments and Camilla Belle is a cute up-and-coming starlet.
Colorful aliens, dramatic adult situations and universal story of friendship make this a winner for many kids as it also is good natured and doesn't go to deep into the darker aspects of a possible alien invasion. It is also a technically impressive movie with several scenes that feel epic in style with incredible eye for details. You need to love the music from music company Stargate, especially Rihanna and Jennifer Lopez who fills through this film. Core story is something seen numerous times before.
Bryce Dallas Howard has an angelic supernatural quality to herself that makes her believable as something "out of this world" and I love the excellent set-up and introduction to the movie making one hope this is one of the director's better works, but sadly the film never manage to build up any suspense after it's setup. Film is unsure if it wants to be a cute fantasy movie, comedy or a thriller lacking a true vision and the rules in the movie are rewritten numerous times until they don't apply themselves anymore.
A slow romantic drama movie that made me sleep sweet dreams on the couch after a while as I have seen this kind of movie numerous times before. Jennifer Lopez is also totally miscast as a woman who can't get a man. It is impossible and totally unbelievable as her looks make her attractive for every heterosexual man alive. It takes me so out of the movie that it becomes unrealistic and stupid.
The Ups: A few acceptable fight sequences and action help this fast paced movie but I hate shitty endings where stupid writers write themselves into a corner and have to tend to the reset button. Feels in the end like a rejected pilot episode for TV.
Surprisingly good-natured and charming sex comedy that have risky subject matter but never crosses any lines making it also very accessible for a huge crowd. The film consist of seven segments that all are different and have unique styles: one is a full comedy, another a dramatic Fellini homage and one a monster movie with a crazed John Carradine as a scientist. The final story is an adult "Inside Out" story where we follow the brain's attempts to impregnate a girl. This is also the place to find a touching romance between Gene Wilder and a Armenian sheep called Daisy. A game-show segment was probably fun in the 1970s as it is full of celeb cameos talking about fetishes, but is boring now. Transvestite story is also mostly a waste of time except for the final scene in bed with the married and happy couple.
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