This has the trifecta of awfulness:
1. Misleading - the title suggests something actually happens in this movie!
2. Boring - people trying to outsmart... the air? WTF?
3. Shyamalan - the worst title of his terrible career.
This movie features exploding birds, terrible acting, environmentalist speeches, and lots of people shooting in the air! I might have got a few laughs out of this, but somehow I think I died a little bit inside from watching it...
Terrible gags. The original 300 movie is actually funnier (unintentionally of course) than this spoof! The people who brought you Epic Movie, Date Movie and all those other turds, have managed to outdo themselves with this one. There are more (and funnier) jokes in a rejected SNL skit than there are in this entire movie. I saw this on TV and I still want my money back!
Guy Ritchie made this horrible, boring, failed experiment in his "Madonna Cycle", which also included the anti-masterpiece "Swept Away". Other than one amazing action scene, the movie blubbers into surrealism and psychobabble that I couldn't even bother trying to comprehend.
Yeah there is a cool spooky feel to this movie, but lets be honest here, this is supposed to be about an alien invasion. The reason this fails is that Shyamalan's space invaders are the dumbest aliens ever depicted on film! They make Jar Jar look like a wise Vulcan elder. And give me a break with the most idiotic, contrived, psychic, spiritual, over the top, bullshit ending I've ever seen. At least until the next Shyamalan movie comes out that is...
Yes, I do love history. But this movie is so damn boring that it makes my high school history teacher look like James Cameron in comparison. I mean, the story of Stonewall Jackson should be one of the best action packed movies ever, not this snoozefest.
The movie that tried to trick people by hiding the fact that Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels were not in it! Well, if that's your marketing strategy, then you know there isn't going to be anything positive about the actual movie. And there isn't.
The movie that almost ruined the mighty George Lucas. Unfortunately the annoying title character foreshadowed the large array of terrible "kids oriented" characters that Lucas would force into his movies from then on. If memory serves me, I believe Siskel and Ebert gave Howard the Duck two thumbs chopped off, because two thumbs down was too generous.
Yes the Phantom Menace was a terrible movie, but at least it did have Darth Maul. Enter Episode II. This is the one where we are finally treated to the biggest failure of the "prequel trilogy", which is the embarrassing romance between Anakin and Padme. Garbage dialogue just adds to the confusion, as Padme seems to become more in love with Anakin, the more crazy and evil he becomes. What a complete joke! Even Luke and Yoda had better chemistry than this crap.
Aha, the most defining moment of the 20th Century! This event led to the nuclear age, America's rise to superpower status, and eventually the cold war. FAIL! What does this movie give us instead? A crappy love triangle between a bunch of nobody characters! This movie spits on the graves of all the brave people who died in the battle by turning the event into a cheap soap opera backdrop. Typical Michael Bay, in other words.
Maybe as a reflection of those times, there was suddenly a new era of Hollywood action movies, where regular dorks and losers become action stars through one super power or another. No more muscle men, no more Chuck Norris or Dirty Harry. Now an action movie consists of a pretty boy actor whining about his emo teen issues, while pixel smashing his enemies with his own CGI-friendly abilities, just like he'd be doing on his Playstation if he wasn't doing it in the movie.
The world's worst comedian proves once again he deserves the crown. Jamie Kennedy wishes he could be the poor man's Jim Carrey, but he is actually the poor man's Rob Schneider! Somehow this movie thinks showing a bunch of loud, annoying, jerks dancing badly is supposed to be funny. Well, it's about as funny as the misspelled title.
Disney is known for being greedy, and having zero integrity, but this movie was a new low even for them! When their mediocre Pirate movie about a theme park ride became a hit, Disney decided to throw hundreds of millions of dollars into two rushed sequels. The result was a pair of terrible "adventure" movies, with seemingly random action sequences, dozens of lame characters that switch sides every 10 minutes, and a massive CGI climax that looks like a toilet flushing! If you can sit through the whole trilogy without vomiting, then you are automatically qualified to be a NASA astronaut.
The best thing a movie can do is make you feel something. The worst thing a movie can do is tell you how you should feel! This is a perfect example of manipulative tripe dressed up as meaningful drama. Not to mention, the whole ending is spoiled about 10 minutes in. If I wanted to be pounded over the head with fake emotions and melodrama, I would just watch some reality television.
This thriller builds up tension nicely, and the cast is decent as well, but the problem arises with the ridiculous surprise ending. There is a narrow line between an ending that you truly can't see coming, and an ending that is just so damn stupid, that nobody would ever think of it before it happens! This film just steps over that line enough to completely ruin the whole build-up, and sadly, it was convincing all the way up to that ending.
This is an absolute embarrassment. The hero of Goal 1 and 2 is quickly disposed of in this sequel. Why? Is it because he has an accent or what? Then we are treated to scenes of the stars sitting on the bench watching some English national team footage from the world cup... including an on field death no less! I don't remember that really happening... nor England winning the world cup! Good grief this is a terrible mess of a movie.
The only way you can actually suspend your disbelief enough to buy into this movie, is to get a lobotomy! Every character acts like a complete moron, and every plot twist is so ridiculous, you may actually be shaking your head in bewilderment for two straight hours!
When I left the theater after watching the original Matrix, I was excited by the possibilities of what a sequel could bring. Unfortunately, the Wachowski brothers decided that the actual story of the Matrix was not as important as the fight between Neo and Agent Smith. The struggle of Humanity vs Machine becomes an afterthought in this franchise killer.
These days it's common practice to have sequels, remakes and reboots of every piece of crap that may have once passed for entertainment. But in 1988, it was probably a clever idea to try to cash in quickly, by taking the surprise hit "Crocodile Dundee" and just rehashing the same story in a dumb sequel. Somehow the charm is missing, Dundee is more of a caricature than even the first movie, and the jokes are displaced by really tedious action sequences.
You can get away with a lot in movies. Giant robots, aliens, super powers, never running out of bullets... all acceptable to the audience. The problem is when a movie tries to set rules - as Eagle Eye is supposed to take place in the "real world" - and then breaks those rules, that's when the movie has gone too far. I'm sorry, but there is no way I'll ever believe that a guy running down the street got murdered by a computer, using electrical wires. That goes into a level of stupid that you just can't get away with.
Turkish Star Wars is probably the worst movie ever made anywhere in the world - which includes all pornos, home videos and even surveillance camera footage. When this came out, a village in Turkey had to be burned because a horse gave birth to a calf! Legend has it, George Lucas suffered enough brain damage from viewing this film that he created the Ewoks. This film is so awful that the revolutions in the Middle East originally began as a mass protest to its DVD release in those countries. Historians claim that when this movie was released theatrically in Eastern Europe, it caused the collapse of the Soviet Empire, and the fall of the Berlin Wall as people escaped to the western world, where it was still unknown. The United Nations Convention Against Torture banned this movie as a form of torture in 1984. Uwe Boll once praised this film - 'nuff said.
Film Ninja's rating:
These are the worst movies I have seen. Hey it's Monday, and someone has to pay for that! There isn't any real order here, because once you get this low into the gutter, it's just pointless to rank these debacles.