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Added by The Flagship on 24 Aug 2008 02:17
11763 Views 18 Comments
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Most ridiculous taglines ever conceived

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People who added this item 2729 Average listal rating (1773 ratings) 6.1 IMDB Rating 6.5
Tagline: "Lock your car or it may be... GONE IN 60 SECONDS"

This tagline is utterly steeped in cheese. Any attempt to slip the title of a film into the tagline usually ends in abrupt failure, this is no different.

Cheese Factor 10/10
Cliche Score 4/10
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People who added this item 2197 Average listal rating (1541 ratings) 6.9 IMDB Rating 7.4
Tagline: "Cocked, locked, and Ready to Rock!"

Terrible. I wouldn't be surprised if Nic Cage came up with these himself, they're exactly the sort of calibre of awful you'd expect from him. How witty, the film title is once again included in the tagline - only 'to rock' would surely suggest that there would be some sort of heavy metal concert or that the marines were going in all guns blazing. In fact, the lead character spends most of the time snivelling around his ancient guide.

Cheese Factor 10/10
Cliche Score 10/10
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People who added this item 958 Average listal rating (629 ratings) 4.9 IMDB Rating 5.2
Tagline: "Go for it!"

Disappointing purely because of the fact that it has nothing to do with the film. I can't even think of a successful play on words that this capitalises on. Maybe if this was Rocky FOUR it wouldn't be so bad, but considering this isn't even a Rocky catchphrase, I just don't know what they were thinking.

Cheese Factor 3/10
Cliche Rating 8/10
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People who added this item 4643 Average listal rating (3153 ratings) 6.2 IMDB Rating 6.6
Tagline: "Time To Kick Some Asteroid"

Warning: Tagline may cause severe cringes. No need to elaborate.

Cheese Factor 10/10
Cliche Rating 6/10
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People who added this item 4130 Average listal rating (2751 ratings) 7.7 IMDB Rating 8.2
Tagline: "Twelve terrorists. One cop. The odds are against John McClane... That's just the way he likes it."

A generic enough tagline, only it fails because it makes John McClane sounds like Duke Nukem instead of the reluctant anti-hero that he is. He doesn't take out tens of terrorists on a regular basis, why would he enjoy this torture!

Cheese Factor 6/10
Cliche Rating 7/10
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Tagline: "A pulse-pounding cyber-slam"

Bahaha, there's no way this film is pulse-pounding and I'm not even going to speculate what a cyber-slam is. The only way a tagline for a film as dreadful as this could get respect is if it told the truth. "A ceaseless shit-fest that demolishes its short story inspiration" could have served the film better.

Cheese Factor 5/10
Cliche Rating 3/10
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People who added this item 3860 Average listal rating (2584 ratings) 6.7 IMDB Rating 7
Tagline: "The wager between heaven and hell is on Earth"

I've tried to make sense of this tagline for a long time as I used to have a poster of Constantine on my wall. I never managed. What wager exactly is going on between heaven and hell? Is Constantine the Wager? Oh, just like every other human being on the planet then.

Cheese Factor 3/10
Cliche Rating 4/10
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Tagline: "You're all going to die"

Well that's a bit of a bummer. It even suggests that there is no hero to save us all. I guess the only problem is that Raccoon City has already been thoroughly quarantined and ends up being completely levelled by a ballistic missile at the end of the film.

Cheese Factor 6/10
Cliche Rating 8/10
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Tagline: "If you have what it takes... You can have it ALL!"

No. 'If you have what it takes' refers to if you have a fast car, 'you can have it all' equates to you can win...another fast car! The miserable glorification of illegal street racing. Great.

Cheese Factor 8/10
Cliche Rating 9/10
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People who added this item 3452 Average listal rating (2257 ratings) 6 IMDB Rating 6.5
Tagline: "Their days of peace are over"

The villagers live in constant fear of satanic killer monsters that surround their picturesque village. That doesn't sound very peaceful to me.

Cheese Factor 5/10
Cliche Rating 8/10
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People who added this item 5694 Average listal rating (3664 ratings) 7.7 IMDB Rating 8.1
Tagline: "Be afraid of the dark"

Well, Donnie Darko isn't a horror film, there's no monster that stalks anyone through the night, so they must be referring to Donnie. I'm sure I'm not alone in being completely and utterly unafraid of eccentric spoilt schoolchildren.

Cheese Factor 5/10
Cliche Rating 9/10
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Tagline: "This time it's not just a walk in the park!"

Nor was it last time, or even the time before that.

Cheese Factor 4/10
Cliche Rating 6/10
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People who added this item 1988 Average listal rating (982 ratings) 7.3 IMDB Rating 7.6
Tagline: "How did they ever make a movie of Lolita?"

You tell us, you made it! And it couldn't have been that bad, since there have been two!

Cheese Factor 3/10
Cliche Rating 5/10
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People who added this item 719 Average listal rating (475 ratings) 6.3 IMDB Rating 6.6
Tagline: "Someone has to fix the problems."

It is almost as if this film was so-named just so that they could use this as the tag line. It's WOEFULLY tenuous.

Cheese Factor 9/10
Cliche Rating 9/10
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Tagline: "The idea behind the concept is to create a memorable phrase that will sum up the tone and premise of a brand or product (like a film), or to reinforce the audience's memory of a product."

Here's an example of taglines which have failed to do just that. Each tagline is lifted from their IMDb profile, someone has to remember them. The saddest part of all is knowing that a team of marketers have sat around the table in a bid to generate something witty and memorable, and this is the best that they could do.


Here are a few examples where they were a bit more successful.

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Comments

Posted: 10 years, 1 month ago at Aug 26 10:07
Jumper .. Anywhere is Possible.

Shame being anywhere other than the cinema wasn't possible when I wasted an afternoon of my life going to watch this film.
Posted: 9 years, 11 months ago at Oct 29 13:52
one of the best list here in listal!
Posted: 9 years, 9 months ago at Jan 17 21:16
Whenever I think of ridiculous tag lines I always think of Golgo 13's
"He shoots...he scores...he'll blow you away!"

Posted: 8 years, 5 months ago at May 11 20:40
I know this list is a little old, but I have to share the worst one in recent history:

Clash of the Titans: "Titans...Will...Clash"
Posted: 8 years, 4 months ago at Jun 6 13:21
Ratman : "he's the critter from the shitter"

www.listal.com/movie/quella-villa-fondo-al-parco
Posted: 8 years, 4 months ago at Jun 6 17:11
This list is just great, congrat \o/
Posted: 8 years, 4 months ago at Jun 6 21:42
This list is awesome, I laughed my ass off!
Posted: 8 years, 4 months ago at Jun 7 15:03
hehe, yeah Ratman has one great tagline! Or what about Direct Contact with Dolph Lundgren; They thougt he was dead. They where dead wrong!
Posted: 8 years, 4 months ago at Jun 13 20:49
I really laughed with some taglines but I love Lolita's. I haven't watched it yet, only the '97 version, but still.
Posted: 8 years, 4 months ago at Jun 17 13:27
NIce list ,,nice selections bro!!
Posted: 7 years, 8 months ago at Feb 5 5:57
Good idea for a list but it needs to be expanded. There are so many other awesomely shitty taglines. Predator 2 - He's in town...with a few days to kill. Countless others.
Posted: 7 years, 8 months ago at Feb 5 11:48
great list which is even greater because of ur comments!
Posted: 7 years, 7 months ago at Mar 12 23:34
I think it's the third time I read this list and I still laugh as it was the first one.
Posted: 6 years, 7 months ago at Mar 2 5:41
I agree with the majority of these; however, Lolita's tagline is a tongue-in-cheek statement directed towards the tyrannical censors of the time. Remember, this was a film that focused on paedophilia during a period of strict censorship laws. For example, Psycho horrified people only two years before the release of Kubrick's film. It may seem dated in the context of our desensitised society, however, it made sense in 1962.
Posted: 6 years, 4 months ago at Jun 7 1:32
One of the funniest lists I've read!
Posted: 5 years, 2 months ago at Aug 5 20:42
"Unwittingly, he trained a dolphin to kill the president of the United States."
Posted: 5 years, 2 months ago at Aug 6 5:41
mechanic
"Someone has to fix the problems."

"It is almost as if this film was so-named just so that they could use this as the tag line."


i laughed so hard at your comment on mechanics tagline hahahhahha . great list , superb work .
Posted: 3 years, 9 months ago at Jan 8 15:33
I like that you placed Armageddon's cheese factor at 10/10 because I can sum up all of the cheese in 3 words: Animal. Cracker. Scene.

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