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Added by Agent Kermit D. Fonz on 27 Nov 2011 12:37
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People who added this item 1786 Average listal rating (1254 ratings) 6.3 IMDB Rating 7
Ted (2012)
Ted: I look stupid.
John: No, you don't, you look dapper.
Ted: John, I look like something you give to your kid when you tell 'em Grandma died.

Tom Skerritt: My daughter better still be alive you sick son of a bitch.

John: What is this?
Ted: It's called "Mind Rape", it's actually pretty mellow.
John: It doesn't sound very mellow.
Ted: Well he only had three other batches: "Gorilla Panic", "They're coming! They're coming!" and something called "This Is Permanent"... Go on, spark it up!

John: I think back to that Christmas morning and I wish I'd just gotten a Teddy Ruxpin.
Ted: Say that again.
John: Teddy Rux-fuckin'-pin

Ted: I look like Snuggles' accountant.

Narrator: Now if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that nothing is more powerful than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.
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People who added this item 942 Average listal rating (611 ratings) 5.9 IMDB Rating 6.3
Total Recall (2012)
Doug Quaid: If I'm not me, then who the hell am I?
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People who added this item 590 Average listal rating (410 ratings) 5.9 IMDB Rating 6.2
Mr. Fitzhugh: Shouldn't we be avoiding law enforcement? I never saw an episode of Matlock where the criminal banged Matlock!
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People who added this item 1115 Average listal rating (745 ratings) 7.1 IMDB Rating 7.6
Moneyball (2011)
Billy Beane: Would you rather get one shot in the head or five in the chest and bleed to death?
Peter Brand: Are those my only two options?

Scott Hatteberg: I've only ever played catcher.
Billy Beane: It's not that hard, Scott. Tell him, Wash.
Ron Washington: It's incredibly hard.

Billy Beane: You think losing is fun?

Billy Beane: How can you not get romantic about baseball? 

Peter Brand: I wanted you to see these player evaluations that you asked me to do. 
Billy Beane: I asked you to do three. 
Peter Brand: Yeah. 
Billy Beane: To evaluate three players. 
Peter Brand: Yeah. 
Billy Beane: How many you'd do? 
Peter Brand: Forty-seven. 
Billy Beane: Okay. 
Peter Brand: Actually, fifty-one. I don't know why I lied just then. 

Billy Beane: If we try to play like the Yankees in here, we will lose to the Yankees out there.

Billy Beane: Guys, you're just talking. Talking, "la-la-la-la", like this is business as usual. It's not. 
Grady Fuson: We're trying to solve the problem here, Billy. 
Billy Beane: Not like this you're not. You're not even looking at the problem. 
Grady Fuson: We're very aware of the problem. I mean... 
Billy Beane: Okay, good. What's the problem? 
Grady Fuson: Look, Billy, we all understand what the problem is. We have to... 
Billy Beane: Okay, good. What's the problem? 
Grady Fuson: The problem is we have to replace three key players in our lineup. 
Billy Beane: Nope. What's the problem? 
Pittaro: Same as it's ever been. We've gotta replace these guys with what we have existing. 
Billy Beane: Nope. What's the problem, Barry? 
Scout Barry: We need 38 home runs, 120 RBIs and 47 doubles to replace. 
Billy Beane: Ehh!  
Billy Beane: The problem we're trying to solve is that there are rich teams and there are poor teams. Then there's fifty feet of crap, and then there's us. It's an unfair game. And now we've been gutted. We're like organ donors for the rich. Boston's taken our kidneys, Yankees have taken our heart. And you guys just sit around talking the same old "good body" nonsense like we're selling jeans. Like we're looking for Fabio. We've got to think differently. We are the last dog at the bowl. You see what happens to the runt of the litter? He dies. 

Billy Beane: I made one decision in my life based on money. And I swore I would never do it again.
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Kumar: I haven't shaved since you left. Pretty romantic, right? Like Ryan Gosling in "The Notebook."

Wafflebot: They serve Pancakes in Hell!
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Adele: I'm giving thanks that we don't have to go through this for another year. Except we do, because those bastards went and put Christmas right in the middle, just to punish us.

Leo: Walter, when you say "cash is king," what's that mean?
Walter: Cash is the fossil fuel that keeps our economic pistons pumping.

Claudia 'Clyde' Larson: Didn't you have a girlfriend, or...
Russell 'Sad Sack' Terziak: Yeah, she went and married my best buddy Ray.
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People who added this item 483 Average listal rating (314 ratings) 6.2 IMDB Rating 6.1
Hobo: I used to be like you... a long time ago. All brand new and perfect. No mistakes, no regrets. People look at you and think of how wonderful your future will be. They want you to be something special... like a doctor or a lawyer. I hate to tell you this, but if you grow up here, you're more likely to wind up selling your bodies on the streets, or shooting dope from dirty needles in a bus stop. And if you're successful, you'll make money selling junk to crackheads. And don't think twice about killing someone's wife, because you won't even know it's wrong in the first place. Maybe... you'll end up like me. A hobo with a shotgun.

Hobo: I think I'm okay now. I just tell my brain when I know I'm hurting. I just say I got nothing for you buddy... Nothing to make it go away, so just go to hell. And he goes. He's like a brother to me now and brothers fight sometimes.
Abby: Well, I think it's time to put you and your brother to bed.

Drake: When life gives you razor blades, you make a baseball bat... with razor blades.

Abby: You can't solve all the world's problems with a shotgun.
Hobo: It's all I know.
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People who added this item 35 Average listal rating (24 ratings) 7.2 IMDB Rating 6.6
Herbie Conklin: Ginny, where do you think you're going?
Ginny Hanks Grainger: Herbie, I just have to go to the bank, just for two seconds, you can take my register until I get back.
Herbie Conklin: Me? I am the manager here and you're not going anywhere, we're in the middle of a Christmas rush here.
Ginny Hanks Grainger: If anyone says another thing about Christmas to me I'm gonna throw something at them and I mean it! Now I'm going to the bank, Herbie.
Herbie Conklin: Then that's it, you're fired, Ginny.
Ginny Hanks Grainger: Go jump in the lake, Herbie!
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People who added this item 1327 Average listal rating (869 ratings) 5.4 IMDB Rating 5.6
Cleveland Heep: H-how was the movie?
Harry Farber: Sucked
Cleveland Heep: Oh... what a shame.
Harry Farber: Characters were walking around, saying their thoughts out loud. Who does that? And in a typical romance where the couple finally tell each other they love one another in the rain. Why does everyonelike to stand around and talk in the rain in movies?
Cleveland Heep: Um... well maybe it's a metaphor for purification; starting new.
Harry Farber: No, it's not!

Joey Dury: The pictures on the cereal box are supposed to make you feel happy. But I feel sad, like the time you forgot to pick me up at school.
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People who added this item 440 Average listal rating (264 ratings) 6.6 IMDB Rating 6.7
Sarah Roberts: She's that kind of a woman. She's... European.
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Dr. Claire Lewicki: You and Rowdy have the same sickness, it's called denial and it's probably going to kill you both.

Harry Hogge: What do you know about stock car racing?
Cole Trickle: Well... watched it on television, of course.
Harry Hogge: You've seen it on television?
Cole Trickle: ESPN. The coverage is excellent, you'd be surprised at how much you can pick up.
Harry Hogge: I'm sure I would.

Tim Daland: And Harry, I know you're great, you know you're great, but if the guy in the car doesn't trust you, we're never gonna win a damn race.
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People who added this item 2026 Average listal rating (1283 ratings) 7.4 IMDB Rating 7.8
Frank Lucas: Now, I got no problem with you showin' up in court tomorrow with your head blown in half.
Detective Richie Roberts: Get in line. That one stretches around the block too.

Detective Richie Roberts: The number one fear of people isn't dying, it's public speaking.
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People who added this item 1221 Average listal rating (794 ratings) 5.6 IMDB Rating 6.3
Chazz: This guy could not hold my jock sweat.
Jimmy: I could hold it all day long, try me!
Chazz: Maybe I will.
Jimmy: Maybe you should.
Chazz: You challenging me, princess?
Jimmy: I'm not inviting you to the Skating Federation's annual Christmas party.
Chazz: Then bring it on!
Jimmy: It is on.
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People who added this item 273 Average listal rating (182 ratings) 5 IMDB Rating 5.8
Undercover Brother: You mess with the 'fro, you got to go.
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People who added this item 1978 Average listal rating (1317 ratings) 7.5 IMDB Rating 7.8
Annie Wilkes: It's the swearing, Paul. It has no nobility.
Paul Sheldon: These are slum kids, I was a slum kid. Everybody talks like that.
Annie Wilkes: THEY DO NOT! At the feedstore do I say, "Oh, now Wally, give me a bag of that F-in' pig feed, and a pound of that bitchly cow corn"? At the bank do I say, "Oh, Mrs. Malenger, here is one big bastard of a check, now give me some of your Christ-ing money!" THERE, LOOK THERE, NOW SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!

Annie Wilkes: Anything else I can get for you while I am in town? How about a tiny tape recorder, or how about a homemade pair of writing slippers?
Paul Sheldon: No, just the paper would be fine.
Annie Wilkes: Are you sure? Because if you want I can bring back the whole store for you!
Paul Sheldon: Annie, what's the matter?
Annie Wilkes: WHAT'S THE MATTER? I will tell you "what's the matter!" I go out of my way for you! I do everything to try and make you happy. I feed you, I clean you, I dress you, and what thanks do I get? "Oh, you bought the wrong paper, Annie, I can't write on this paper, Annie!" Well, I'll get your stupid paper but you just better start showing me a little appreciation around here, Mr. MAN!

Annie Wilkes: YOU! YOU DIRTY BIRD, HOW COULD YOU!
Paul Sheldon: What?
Annie Wilkes: She can't be dead, MISERY CHASTAIN CANNOT BE DEAD!
Paul Sheldon: Annie, in 1871, women often died during childbirth. But her SPIRIT is the important thing, and Misery's spirit is still alive.
Annie Wilkes: I DON'T WANT HER SPIRIT! I WANT HER, AND YOU MURDERED HER!
Paul Sheldon: No I didn't.
Annie Wilkes: WHO DID?
Paul Sheldon: No one did! She just died! She... she... slipped away!
Annie Wilkes: SLIPPED AWAY! SLIPPED AWAY? SHE DIDN'T JUST SLIP AWAY! YOU DID IT! YOU DID IT! YOU DID IT! YOU MURDERED MY MISERY!
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Time Lincoln: Quick, to the new Beetle convertible!

Ignignokt: Welcome home, baby! I say this to all of your things, for this is a robbery.
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Jarrod: I almost came as a shark actually, but then I realized an eagle's slightly better.

Lily: I have two things to say. One: I am leaving tomorrow on a bus. Two: that could change.
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People who added this item 108 Average listal rating (68 ratings) 5.1 IMDB Rating 5.5
Mr. 3000 (2004)
Tom Arnold: Hey, we're sorry about all that stuff we said before you hit that homer...
Stan: Yeah, you wouldn't be anywhere if it wasn't for Roseanne.

Big Horse Borelli: You know, a lot of people said that Stan only looked out for himself, that he wasn't a team player. But I'm here to tell you, if you get 3000 hits, you don't have to be a team player. If you have a lifetime .314 average, you don't have to be a good guy. If you lead the league in batting for three years, you can be the biggest jerk in the world!

Stan: Stan, you're going to be the best looking cat in the Hall of Fame, that's for dog gone sure.
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People who added this item 2192 Average listal rating (1431 ratings) 5.1 IMDB Rating 5.2
Mephistopheles: Perhaps you'll ride for me some day.
Young Johnny Blaze: You run a show?
Mephistopheles: Greatest show on Earth.

Johnny Blaze: 300 Feet. Pretty neat, pretty neat.

Johnny Blaze: Thank you for telling me I'm the devil's bounty hunter.
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People who added this item 1799 Average listal rating (1039 ratings) 7.3 IMDB Rating 7.6
Stuntman Mike: Do I frighten you?
Stuntman Mike: Is it my scar?
Arlene: It's your car.
Stuntman Mike: Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. It's my mom's car.

Stuntman Mike: How do you think they accomplish that?
Pam: CGI?
Stuntman Mike: Well, nowadays unfortunately you're right more often than not. But back in the all or nothing days, the Vanishing Point days, the Dirty Mary Crazy Larry days, the White Line Fever days, they had real cars crashing into real cars and real dumb people driving em.

Cherry: It's go go, not cry cry.

Stuntman Mike: You know how people say, YOU'RE OKAY IN MY BOOK, or AND IN MY BOOK THAT'S NO GOOD. Well, I actually have... a book. And everybody I ever met goes in this book. And now I've met you, and... YOU'RE GOING IN THE BOOK TOO. Unfortunately, now I'm gonna have to file you under chicken... shit.

Kim: Actually, we're paying you a compliment cause we're gonna do some stupid shit, but that's ok, cause we're stunt people, we ain't got good sense, but you've got good sense, and anybody with good sense ain't gonna wanna do what we're doin'.
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Juan Ramirez: You've remembered almost everything I taught you.
Conner MacLeod: I've had a lot of practice lately.
Juan Ramirez: There is no substitute for experience.
Conner MacLeod: What experience? You've been dead for five hundred years.

Ramirez: Most people have a full measure of life... and most people just watch it slowly drip away. But if you can summon it all up... at one time... in one place... you can accomplish something... glorious.
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Ron Weasley: Hermione, you are honestly the most wonderful person I have ever met. If I'm ever rude to you...
Hermione Granger: I'll know you've gone back to normal.

Ron Weasley: Hermione, I hate your cat.

Kingsley Shacklebolt: You may not like him, Minister, but you can't deny: Dumbledore's got style.
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People who added this item 559 Average listal rating (372 ratings) 7 IMDB Rating 7.3
Interrogation Sergeant: What's your name? Come on. What's your name? Do you have a name? Do you have a police record? Where are you from?
John Ryder: Disneyland.

Nash: Actually we're all from Mars around here, we keep our spaceship out back. So... what planet are you from?

Jim Halsey: What do you want?
John Ryder: I want you to stop me.
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Tom Beck: What the hell is that?
Sanchez: A flame-thrower man, can you believe it? Patrol picked this up off some homeboy on the street.

Tom Beck: I want to ask you if I'm crazy, or does this seem just a little bizarre?
Lloyd Gallagher: Yeah, it's a little bizarre.
Tom Beck: I knew that. I just wanted to know if you knew that.
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People who added this item 2862 Average listal rating (1942 ratings) 7.5 IMDB Rating 7.9
Heston Services Clerk: Sir, is there anything I can do for you?
Nicholas Angel: No... This is something I have to do myself.

Danny Butterman: Ever fired your gun in the air and yelled, 'Aaaaaaah?'

Nicholas Angel: Sergeant Butterman, the little hand says it's time to rock and roll!

Danny Butterman: What about... 'Lethal Weapon'?
Nicholas Angel: No.
Danny Butterman: You've seen 'Die Hard', though?
Nicholas Angel: No.
Danny Butterman: 'Bad Boys II'?
Nicholas Angel: No.
Danny Butterman: You ain't seen 'Bad Boys II'?

Danny Butterman: Point Break or Bad Boys II?
Nicholas Angel: Which one do you think I'll prefer?
Danny Butterman: No, I mean which one do you wanna watch first?

Simon Skinner: My, my, here come the Fuzz. 

Nicholas Angel: We just sat through three hours of so-called acting, constable, and their kiss was the only convincing moment of it.

Danny Butterman: Supercop. Meet the cop that can't be stopped.
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People who added this item 327 Average listal rating (178 ratings) 6.7 IMDB Rating 7.2
Willie Conway: You know in five years you won't even remember me.

Willie Conway: I can't play Pooh to your Christopher Robin.

Tracy: You look awful.
Willie Conway: I've been drunk for two weeks.

Marty: It's a tragedy of Elizabethan proportions.

Kev: Stay cool, man. Stay cool forever.

Tommy: No, Paul is not my friend. He lives in my house. I got cockroaches, I got termites... I got Paul.

Willie Conway: Bye Marty.
Marty: Later Pooh.
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Chloe: Alex and I made love the night before he died. It was fantastic.
Nick: He went out with a bang, not a whimper.

Sam Weber: Do you think we're all trying trying to avoid dealing with Alex? You know, every time it comes up somebody changes the subject.
Nick: Hey, it's a dead subject.

Nick: Wise up, folks. We're all alone out there and tomorrow we're going out there again.

Meg: It's a cold world out there. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting a little frosty myself.

Michael: Amazing tradition. They throw a great party for you on the one day they know you can't come.

Michael: Eventually he was hospitalized for being such a nerd.
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Chuck Yeager: Hey, Ridley, ya got any Beeman's?
Jack Ridley: Yeah, I think I got me a stick.
Chuck Yeager: Loan me some, will ya? I'll pay ya back later.
Jack Ridley: Fair enough.

Gordon Cooper: You boys know what makes this bird go up? FUNDING makes this bird go up.
Gus Grissom: He's right. No bucks, no Buck Rogers.

Chuck Yeager: I'm a fearless man, but I'm scared to death of you.
Glennis Yeager: Oh no you're not. But you oughta be.
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People who added this item 1848 Average listal rating (1256 ratings) 6.1 IMDB Rating 6.5
Gunnar Jensen: What do you wear, size 3? Bring it, happy feet.

Lee Christmas: You know it's not easy being your friend.

Barney Ross: What the hell's he doing?
Lee Christmas: Hanging a pirate.
Barney Ross: Don't be ridiculous. Gunner! What are you doing?
Gunnar Jensen: Hanging a pirate!
Toll Road: That's seriously demented.
Yin Yang: This is no good.
Hale Caesar: Not that you'd feel it, but put one in Speed Racer's shoulder.
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People who added this item 1847 Average listal rating (1237 ratings) 7.3 IMDB Rating 7.7
Elderly Man: In the church, they say to forgive.
Creasy: Forgiveness is between them and God. It's my job to arrange the meeting.

Rayburn: A man can be an artist... in anything, food, whatever. It depends on how good he is at it. Creasey's art is death. He's about to paint his masterpiece.

Fuentes: A last wish, please, please. Please.
Creasy: Last wish? I wish you had more time.

Lisa: She likes him
Samuel: Hm?
Lisa: Creasy, Pita likes him.
Samuel: Pita loves school. She'd like Count Dracula if he took her back there.

Creasy: Okay, my friend. It's off to the next life for you. I guarantee you, you won't be lonely.

Fuentes: You know, I-I'm a professional.
Creasy: That's what everybody keeps saying. "I'm just a professional". Everybody keeps saying that to me. "I'm just a professional", "I'm just a professional". I'm getting sick and tired of hearing that.

Creasy: I'm goin' home, too. I'm goin' to Blue Bayou.

Mariana: He's protected better than our president.
Creasy: He's gonna need it.
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People who added this item 4334 Average listal rating (2878 ratings) 6.6 IMDB Rating 7.2
I Am Legend (2007)
Neville: Eat your vegetables. Don't just push 'em around, eat 'em. I ain't playin'.

Neville: What the hell are you doing out here, Fred? Fred, if you're real, you better tell me right now!
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People who added this item 67 Average listal rating (40 ratings) 4.4 IMDB Rating 4.6
Jennifer: Try not to hate me.
Justin Schumacher: I hate you more than Garfield hates Mondays.
Jennifer: I thought Garfield hated lasagna.
Justin Schumacher: Garfield loves lasagna!

Darnell Jackson: They're shooting a TV show, I heard of this. It's like American Idol for dancing.
Justin Schumacher: America what?
Darnell Jackson: Star Search, it's like Star Search for dancing.

Darnell Jackson: Uh, what percentage in chance does my friend, Aki, have of sleeping with you?
Yun: Zero percent.
Darnell Jackson: One more question, please. What if he's a professional break-dancer?
Yun: Two percent.
Aki: Mathematically that's an infinity percent increase.
Justin Schumacher: Yeah! That's my Aki! Homeboy's forever?
Aki: Homeboy's forever.
Darnell Jackson: Homeboy's forever.
Hector: Homeboy's forever.
Darnell Jackson, Aki, Justin Schumacher, Hector: Funky Fresh Boyz!
Yun: If that what you guys are going to call yourselves, it goes back down to one percent.
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People who added this item 645 Average listal rating (443 ratings) 5.5 IMDB Rating 5.8
Chucky: Eat dirt, Tommy!

Chucky: Snap out of it! You act like you've never seen a dead body before!
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People who added this item 56 Average listal rating (32 ratings) 5.7 IMDB Rating 5.7
Breakin' (1984)
Turbo: You owe me seven dollars man.
Franco: For what?
Turbo: For teaching you how to dance sucker.
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Daniel Larusso: You know, this is the 80s, Mr. Miyagi. You can't be so damn passive!

Daniel Larusso: I know you don't believe in fighting, but tournament karate isn't exactly fighting.
Mr. Kesuke Miyagi: Not exactly ping-pong, either.

Mr. Kesuke Miyagi: If karate used defend honor, defend life, karate mean something. If karate used defend plastic metal trophy, karate no mean nothing.
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People who added this item 650 Average listal rating (357 ratings) 4.2 IMDB Rating 4.4
Sergeant Kesuke Miyagi: The sun is warm, the grass is green.
Julie Pierce: What?
Sergeant Kesuke Miyagi: If today Julie-san get angry, just you repeat those words.

Julie Pierce: I wish I had courage like you.
Sergeant Kesuke Miyagi: I wish I had chocolate bar with almonds.

Julie Pierce: What's going on?
Sergeant Kesuke Miyagi: Nothing. Just monks having good time.
Julie Pierce: I thought they were supposed to be spiritual.
Sergeant Kesuke Miyagi: Never trust spiritual leader who doesn't dance.
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Pink: I'm waiting in this cell because I have to know... have I been guilty all this time?

Teacher: If ya don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding! How can ya have any pudding if ya don't eat ya meat?

Teacher: We have ourselves, a Poet!
Teacher: Money get back, I'm all right Jack, keep hands off my stack. New car caviar, four star daydream. Buy me a football team.
Teacher: Absolute rubbish! get on with your work.
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Ed: Any zombies out there?
Shaun: Don't say that!
Ed: What?
Shaun: That!
Ed: What?
Shaun: The zed-word. Don't say it!
Ed: Why not?
Shaun: Because it's ridiculous!
Ed: All right... are there any out there, though?
Shaun: I can't see any. Maybe it's not as bad as all that.
Shaun: Oh, no, there they are.

Ed: 'Purple Rain'?
Shaun: No.
Ed: 'Sign o' the Times'?
Shaun: Definitely not.
Ed: The 'Batman' soundtrack?
Shaun: Throw it.
Ed: 'Dire Straits'?
Shaun: Throw it.
Ed: Ooh, 'Stone Roses'.
Shaun: Um, No.
Ed: 'Second Coming'.
Shaun: I like it!
Ed: Ahhh! 'Sade'.
Shaun: Yeah, but that's Liz's!
Ed: Yeah, but she did dump you.
Shaun: Oh!

Dianne: Just look at the face: it's vacant, with a hint of sadness. Like a drunk who's lost a bet.

Shaun: As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "I" in meat pie. Anagram of meat is team... I don't know what he's talking about.
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People who added this item 1344 Average listal rating (892 ratings) 6.4 IMDB Rating 7.1
Frank: You know I was thinking we could go back home... have some dinner and pop in the Sisqo CD... no? Weren't thinking that? Ok.

Beanie: Yeah, that's it. I got a student alt rock band coming on next. Mitch, I own six speaker cities. I am worth three a half million dollars that the government knows about. I got more electronics up there than a damn KISS concert. you think I'm gonna roll out this type of red carpet for a fucking marching band? Just make sure you can see the stage.

Beanie: I'd like to welcome you all to the Mitch Martin Freedom Festival. Now for those of you who don't know who Mitch Martin is, he's the very successful, very disease free gentleman standing by the mini bar. Now, courtesy of Speaker City, which is slashing prices on everything from beepers to DVD players, give a warm welcome Harrison welcome to my pal and your favorite, Snoop Dogg.

Frank: We're going streaking!
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Jim: No, no. No, see, this is a really shit idea. You know why? Because it's really obviously a shit idea.

Jim: And then I wake up today in hospital. I wake up, and I'm... I'm hallucinating or I'm...
Mark: What's your name?
Jim: Jim.
Mark: I'm Mark. This is Selena. OK, Jim. I've got some bad news.

Selena: He was full of plans. Have you got any plans, Jim? Do you want us to find a cure and save the world or just fall in love and fuck? Plans are pointless. Staying alive's as good as it gets.

Mark: A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. They both get pissed. The giraffe falls over. The man goes to leave and the bartender says, "Oi. You can't leave that lyin' there." And the man says, "No. It's not a lion. It's a giraffe."
Mark: Completely humorless.
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Purple Rain (1984)
Morris: Okay. What's the password?
Jerome: You got it.
Morris: Got what?
Jerome: The password.
Morris: The password is what?
Jerome: Exactly.
Morris: The password is exactly?
Jerome: No, it's okay.
Morris: The password is okay?
Jerome: Far as I'm concerned.
Morris: Damn it, say the password!
Jerome: What.
Morris: Say the password, onion head!
Jerome: The password is what?
Morris: That's what I'm asking you!
Jerome: It's the password!
Morris: The password is it?
Jerome: Ahhhhh! The password is what!
Morris: It! You just said so!
Jerome: The password isn't it! The password is?
Morris: What?
Jerome: Got it!
Morris: I got it?
Jerome: Right.
Morris: It or right?

Billy: Nobody digs your music but yourself!

Matt Fink-The Revolution: God got Wendy's periods reversed. About every 28 days she starts acting nice. Lasts about a weekend.
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The Penguin: Touring the riot scene. Gravely assessing the devastation. Upstanding mayor stuff.
Batman: You're not the mayor.
The Penguin: Things change.

Selina Kyle: Wow, the Batman - or is it just "Batman"? Uh, your choice, of course!
Selina Kyle: Well, that was very brief. Just like all the men in my life.

The Penguin: I believe the word you're looking for is "Aaahh"!

Alfred: Let's not forget about repairing the Batmobile. There's certain security to consider. It's not as though we can take it to any old "Joe's bodyshop," is it, sir?
Bruce Wayne: Security? Who let Vicki Vale into the Batcave? I'm sitting there working and I turn around, there she is. "Oh hi, Vick - come on in."
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The Muppets (2011)
Fozzie Bear: Wow, that was such an expensive looking explosion! I can't believe we had that in the budget.

Walter: Am I a Muppet, or am I a man? If I'm a man, I'm a Muppet of a man.

Neil Patrick Harris: How come I'm not hosting this?

Veronica: I'm gonna shoot straight: you guys aren't famous anymore.
Fozzie Bear: Yeesh. I wish she'd shot a little more curvy.

Fat Kid from Modern Family: Are you one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?
Kermit The Frog: Y-Yes I am!

Statler: I always dreamed we'd be back here.
Waldorf: Dreams? Those were nightmares!

Tex Richman: Maniacal laugh... maniacal laugh...

Animal: No drums! No drums! Jack Black said no drums!

Lew: We all agreed, celebrities aren't people.

Kermit the Frog: Guys, we can't kidnap Jack Black. That's illegal!
Fozzie Bear: What's more illegal, Kermit: Kidnapping Jack Black, or destroying the Muppet name for good?
Kermit the Frog: Kidnapping Jack Black!

Jack Black: You ruined one of the best songs of all time!

Fozzie Moopet: Yo, what the waka, man?

TV Executive: No.
TV Executive: No.
TV Executive: Lo siento, pero no.
Kermit the Frog: Oh, you hear that, guys?
TV Executive: That means no.
Kermit the Frog: Oh.

Jack Black: Animal, what are you doing here?
Animal: ...Acting... Naturaaaal.
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Batman: And you are...?
Batgirl: Batgirl.
Batman: That's not very PC. What about Batwoman, or Batperson?
Batgirl: Bruce, it's me, Barbara. I found the Batcave.
Robin: We gotta get those locks changed.
Batman: She knows who we are.
Robin: I guess we'll just have to kill her.
Batman: Yep, we'll kill her later, we've got work to do.

Ivy: There's just something about an anatomically correct rubber suit that puts fire in a girl's lips.
Batman: Why is it that all the beautiful ones are homicidal maniacs? Is it me?

Robin: I want a car, chicks dig the car.
Batman: This is why Superman works alone.

Robin: Where's the snowman?
Batgirl: Maybe he melted.
Batman: No, he's just hibernating.

Mr. Freeze: What killed the dinosaurs? The Ice Age!

Mr. Freeze: In this universe, there's only one absolute... everything freezes!

Robin: It's the hockey team from hell!

Batman: Who invited you?
Robin: I was just hanging around.
Batman: I thought you were gonna stay in the museum. Round up some thugs.
Robin: How 'bout, "Nice to see ya? Glad you're here to save my life?"

Mr. Freeze: Allow me to break the ice. My name is Freeze. Learn it well. For it's the chilling sound of your doom.
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Gus Gorman: I don't want to go to jail because there are robbers and rapers and rapers who rape robbers.

Ross Webster: I've got to get rid of him.
Vera Webster: How? Shoot him? You know about him and bullets.
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Brad: Sir. Would you please take us to the next corner, and drop us off?
Joe Gipp: In this neighborhood? Hey, I wouldn't even get out of the car in this neighborhood.
Brad: Could you drop us off at the nearest mall?
Joe Gipp: A mall? Where y'all think we're at, Boise, Idaho? Shooo!

Albert Collins: Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues.

Gang Leader: Don't fuck with the Lords of Hell.
Chris: Don't fuck with the babysitter.

Dr. Nuhkbane: There you are, one stitch, all better.
Brad: One stitch? 
Dr. Nuhkbane: Oh, yes, one stitch. 
Brad: My only shot at ever being in a gang fight and all I get is one stitch? Chris is gonna think I'm a total failure! 

Chris: What do you want?
John Pruitt: I just want to help you.
Daryl: Don't listen to him, he just wants to scrape our faces off.
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John Watson: Well, I knew it. This is the end of my medical career. My father's going to be furious. I always knew that making friends with you would end up in disaster.

John Watson: I can't afford to jeopardise my medical career!
Sherlock Holmes: Weasel.
John Watson: I'm not a weasel. I am... practical.
Sherlock Holmes: Weasels are practical. And I imagined you courageous and stout of heart.
John Watson: I am courageous. And I'm stout of heart. It's just that... oh, all right. I'll do it.

John Watson: Yes, Mister French Pastry. I have nothing whatsoever to say to you. I trust you have nothing to say to me.

John Watson: What have I gotten myself into?
Sherlock Holmes: The adventure of a lifetime, Watson.

Sherlock Holmes: A great detective relies on perception, intelligence, and imagination.
Lestrade: Where'd you get that rubbish from?
Sherlock Holmes: It's framed on the wall behind you.
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Inspector Lestrade: In another life, Mr. Holmes, you would have made a excellent criminal.
Sherlock Holmes: Yes, and you an excellent policeman.

Irene Adler: Why are you always so suspicious?
Sherlock Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically?

Sherlock Holmes: My mind rebels at stagnation! Give me problems! Give me work!
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Spottswoode: Remember, there is no "I" in "Team America".
Intelligence: Yes, there is.

Spottswoode: Gary, meet Chris. He may lack in courtesy, but he's the best martial arts expert Detroit has to offer.

Spottswoode: From what I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.N.C.E has gathered, it would be 9/11 times 100.
Gary Johnston: 9/11 times a hundred? Jesus, that's...
Spottswoode: Yes, 91,100.
Chris: Basically, all the worst parts of the bible.

Spottswoode: Great job, team. Head back to base for debriefing and cocktails.

Tim Robbins: Let me explain to you how this works: you see, the corporations finance Team America, and then Team America goes out... and the corporations sit there in their... in their corporation buildings, and... and, and see, they're all corporation-y... and they make money.

Kim Jong Il: It will be 911 times 2356. 
Chris: My God, that's... I don't even know what that is! 
Kim Jong Il: Nobody does! 

Gary Johnston: You can't be serious. 
Spottswoode: Oh, I am serious. Look, this is my serious face. 

Sean Penn: Last year I went to Iraq. Before Team America showed up, it was a happy place. They had flowery meadows and rainbow skies, and rivers made of chocolate, where the children danced and laughed and played with gumdrop smiles.
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Speed (1994)
Jack: It's a game. If he gets the money he wins, if the bus blows up he wins.
Annie: What if you win?
Jack: Then tomorrow we'll play another one.
Annie: But I'm not available to drive tomorrow. Busy.

Howard Payne: See, I'm in charge here! I drop this stick, and they pick your friend here up with a sponge! Are you ready to die, friend?
Harry: Fuck you!
Howard Payne: Oh! In two hundred years we've gone from "I regret but I have one life to give for my country" to "Fuck you!"?

Jack: You're crazy! You're fuckin' crazy!
Howard Payne: NO! Poor people are crazy, Jack. I'm eccentric.

Swat Cop: Anything else that'll keep this elevator from falling?
Jack: Yeah. The basement.

Howard Payne: Pop quiz, hotshot. There's a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up. What do you do? What do you do?

Annie: So you're a cop, right? 
Jack: That's right. 
Annie: Well, I should probably tell you that I'm taking the bus because I had my driver's license revoked. 
Jack: What for? 
Annie: Speeding. 

Annie: You're not going to get mushy on me, are you? Jack: Maybe. I might. Annie: I hope not, 'cause you know, relationships that start under intense circumstances, they never last. Jack: Oh yeah? 
Annie: Yeah, I've done extensive study on this. 

Howard Payne: I hate talking to negotiators Jack. They talk to you like they're your best friend and they don't even know you. 

Howard Payne: A bomb is made to explode. That's it's meaning. It's purpose. Your life is empty because you spend it trying to stop the bomb from becoming. And for who? For what? You know what a bomb is, Jack, that doesn't explode? It's a cheap gold watch, buddy.
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