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Added by Mr. Saturn

on 11 Jul 2012 09:26

 
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Masters of Horror Episodes Ranked

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Director: John Carpenter (The Thing and Halloween)
Genre: Psychological Horror
Film is magic. And in the right hands, it can be a weapon. For on-the-ropes movie programmer Kirby Sweetman (Norman Reedus of BLADE II), the holy grail of cinema is Le Fin Absolue du Monde, a legendary lost movie whose sole showing was rumored to have driven its audience to a homicidal frenzy. But as Kirby gets closer to the truth about the film, he's sucked into a private hell of grisly hallucinations and brutal acts of violence. Now the only surviving print of the film is within his grasp and the most horrific screening of all is about to begin. Udo Kier (SUSPIRIA, THE KINGDOM) co-stars in this gore-drenched mind-blower written by Drew McWeeny and Scott Swan, and directed by horror legend John Carpenter.
Mr. Saturn's rating:

People who added this item 58  Average listal rating (32 ratings) 7.2  IMDB Rating
2. Masters of Horror: Imprint

Directed by: Takashi Miike (Audition)
Genre: J-Horror
In 19th century Japan, an American journalist (Billy Drago of THE HILLS HAVE EYES) searches for the prostitute he'd loved and left behind years earlier. But on an island where demons and whores rule the night, a deformed courtesan awaits with a tale of extreme cruelty and perverse vengeance. What follows is an unspeakable orgy of torment and depravity, where the lusts of the damned will inflict wounds that remain forever. Youki Kudoh of Mystery Train and Memoirs of a Geisha co-stars in this justifiably controversial mindblower directed by Takashi Miike (AUDITION, ICHI THE KILLER), based on the Japanese horror novel Bokee Kyotee, and adapted by Audition screenwriter Daisuke Tengan.
Mr. Saturn's rating:


Influence: H.P. Lovecraft
Genre: Haunted House
When stressed-out student Walter Gilman (Ezra Godden of DAGON) rents a room in a decrepit old house, his graduate thesis studies begin to take some very strange twists. He suffers nightmares about a voracious rat with a human face. He suspects that a gateway to another dimension may exist behind his wall and is seemingly seduced by a luscious she-demon who thirsts for souls of the innocent via a covenant that screams for blood. But when Walter must face the most depraved urge of all, will the line between madness, murder, and unholy mayhem be crossed forever? Chelah Horsdal (HOLLOW MAN 2) and Jay Brazeau (INSOMNIA) co-star in this disturbing shocker directed by Stuart Gordon, co-written by Gordon and Dennis Paoli (THE DENTIST, CASTLE FREAK), and based on the infamous short story by horror master H.P. Lovecraft.
Mr. Saturn's rating:


Genre: Lesbian, Romance, Monster Movie, Natural Horror, Body Horror
Angela Bettis (MAY, TOOLBOX MURDERS) stars as a shy entomologist whose drab life is changed by the simultaneous arrival of a large, mysterious bug and a torrid affair with a sexy young woman played by Erin Brown (erotic scream queen Misty Mundae). But when the bizarre insect chooses a shocking place to secretly feed, Sapphic ecstasy turns to infection, mutation, and murder. Will these lesbian lovers let a venomous threesome tear them apart, or is the most horrific metamorphosis of all yet to come? Co-written and directed by Lucky McKee, this babes 'n' bugs shocker features extreme monster mayhem by KNB EFX in one of the most unique films of the series Fangoria calls "a smashing success and one of the best anthology fright shows ever!"
Mr. Saturn's rating:

People who added this item 23  Average listal rating (11 ratings) 7.4  IMDB Rating
5. Masters of Horror - Deer Woman

Influence: Deer Woman is a parody of buddy cop movies and crime shows
Director: John Landis
Genre: Mystery, Parody
Detective Dwight Faraday (Brian Benben) is a burned-out cop demoted to the 'weird calls' desk until a series of bizarre murders suddenly grabs his attention: Several men killed by massive blunt force trauma while in a state of sexual arousal, all last seen in the company of a sexy Native American woman (Cinthia Moura). But when it's discovered that these corpses were trampled into hamburger by what appear to be hooves, Faraday must hunt a killer who may not be totally human. Will one cynical cop be caught like a deer in the headlights or has a horrifying seductress risen from legend to slaughter the horny? Anthony Griffith co-stars in this erotic horror comedy co-written and directed by John Landis (ANIMAL HOUSE, THE BLUES BROTHERS) and featuring grisly gore effects by Gregory Nicotero and Howard Berger (KILL BILL, THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA).
Mr. Saturn's rating:


Influence: Based on a Clive Barker short story.
Genre: Zombie
It is a time when the laws of science battle the secrets of magic, and medical student Ernst Haeckel (Derek Cecil) believes the power of life, death, and resurrection lies in his arrogant hands. But on a journey to visit his gravely ill father, he finds shelter in the home of an older man and his seductive young wife (Leela Savasta) who cannot be fulfilled by mortal hungers. Somewhere in the darkness of a nearby necropolis, a defiant necromancer (Jon Polito of BARTON FINK, MILLER'S CROSSING) will now summon them all to an orgy of the undead and unleash the ultimate depravity for those who do not heed the warning of Haeckel's Tale. Directed by John McNaughton in association with horror legend George A. Romero, this startling mix of erotic desire and gut-ripping horror is adapted by series creator/executive producer Mick Garris from the short story by Clive Barker.
Mr. Saturn's rating:

People who added this item 21  Average listal rating (11 ratings) 6.4  IMDB Rating
7. Masters of Horror: Pelts (2007)

Directed by: Dario Argento
Genre: Environmental Horror
"Meat Loaf" Aday stars as Jake Feldman, a short-tempered furrier struggling to build a small-time business while being tormented by his obsession for a sexy stripper. But when a sadistic backwoods trapper (John Saxon of NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET) kills a strange group of pet raccoons, Jake knows their luxurious hides could make a coat that will change his fortunes forever. Only these are no ordinary pelts: Everyone who comes in contact with the cursed furs is soon driven to unspeakable acts of self-mutilation and extreme violence. Even if Jake can now possess the flesh he desperately covets, what horrific final price will he pay for the skin he's in?
Mr. Saturn's rating:

People who added this item 22  Average listal rating (9 ratings) 7.4  IMDB Rating
8. Masters of Horror: The Black Cat

Influence: Based on a short story by Edgar Allen Poe
Genres: Gothic Horror, Psychological Thriller
Frank Spivey (Steven Weber of THE SHINING, THE STAND, DESPERATION) is a detective who rescues a strange young girl (Carrie Anne Fleming) with a horribly disfigured face and lusciously ripe body from a deranged killer. But when Spivey takes responsibility for the mentally challenged orphan, she reveals herself to be a creature of untold carnal pleasures and unspeakable violent depravities that may lead him straight to hell. The legendary Dario Argento directs this jaw-dropper that features a haunting score by Claudio Simonetti of Goblin (DAWN OF THE DEAD).
Mr. Saturn's rating:

People who added this item 46  Average listal rating (25 ratings) 7  IMDB Rating
9. Masters of Horror - Dario Argento - Jenifer (2006)

Directed by: Dario Argento
Genre: Black Comedy, Monster Movie, Erotic Horror
Frank Spivey (Steven Weber of THE SHINING, THE STAND, DESPERATION) is a detective who rescues a strange young girl (Carrie Anne Fleming) with a horribly disfigured face and lusciously ripe body from a deranged killer. But when Spivey takes responsibility for the mentally challenged orphan, she reveals herself to be a creature of untold carnal pleasures and unspeakable violent depravities that may lead him straight to hell. The legendary Dario Argento directs this jaw-dropper that features a haunting score by Claudio Simonetti of Goblin (DAWN OF THE DEAD).
Mr. Saturn's rating:

People who added this item 17  Average listal rating (11 ratings) 7.4  IMDB Rating
10. Masters of Horror: Family (2007)

Director: John Landis
Genre: Black Comedy, Serial Kiler
It's a beautiful day in suburbia where mild-mannered bachelor Harold Thompson (George Wendt of CHEERS) is happily at work in his basement building the perfect family. But when a young couple moves in next door, Harold sets his sights on the sexy young wife (Meredith Monroe of DAWSONS CREEK). In a sunshine world of picket fences and manicured lawns, is it ever possible to know what gruesome plans are percolating in the minds of your neighbors? Matt Keeslar (SCREAM 3) co-stars in this grisly black comedy with a killer twist from Director John Landis (AN AMERICAN WAREWOLF IN LONDON, ANIMAL HOUSE) and Writer Brent Hanley (FRAILITY).
Mr. Saturn's rating:


Great

People who added this item 21  Average listal rating (11 ratings) 6.6  IMDB Rating
11. Masters of Horror: Pro-Life (2007)

Director: John Carpenter
Starring: Ron Perlman
Genre: Religious Horror
For the dedicated staff of an isolated women's clinic, the ultimate nightmare is waiting to explode. Trapped inside is a terrified pregnant 15-year-old girl. Lurking outside, her crazed anti-abortion activist father (Ron Perlman of HELLBOY) and heavily armed brothers are ready to smash their way in. In this health-center-turned-slaughterhouse, there is only one certainty -- there will be Hell to pay. Emmanuelle Augier (SAW II, SMALLVILLE) and Mark Feuerstein (THE WEST WING) co-star in this graphic and provocative shocker directed by John Carpenter.
Mr. Saturn's rating:

People who added this item 13  Average listal rating (5 ratings) 7.2  IMDB Rating
12. Masters of Horror - Right to Die

Genre: Supernatural Horror, Erotic Horror
Late at night on a lonely country road, Cliff Addison (Martin Donovan of THE DEAD ZONE, WEEDS) and his wife Abby are involved in a fiery car wreck that leaves Cliff unhurt and his wife hideously burned. As Abby lies comatose, kept alive only by life support, her charred spirit seeks vengeance on those who profit from her plight including a slick attorney (Corbin Bernsen). Amidst a storm of angry relatives and pushy reporters, a controversial issue is about to take a horrific turn: Even if Cliff can now find a way to keep his wife alive, will a monstrous secret condemn him to a living hell forever?
Mr. Saturn's rating:

People who added this item 21  Average listal rating (11 ratings) 6.5  IMDB Rating
13. Masters of Horror - Fair Haired Child

Genre: Supernatural Horror
Lori Petty (A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN, TANK GIRL) stars as a grieving mother with a remote estate, a ghastly secret, and a locked basement where abducted teen outcasts await an evil that feasts upon their virgin flesh. But to satisfy a parent's depraved bargain, the beast must feed one final time. And tonight, the ultimate horror will begin for those who do not heed the hunger of The Fair Haired Child. Lindsay Pulsipher and William Samples co-star in this relentlessly creepy saga scripted by Matt Greenberg (HALLOWEEN H20, REIGN OF FIRE) and directed by William Malone The Horror Channel calls "a perfect dark fairy tale and one of the most solid and impressive episodes to date."
Mr. Saturn's rating:


Genre: Thriller
You've always got to expect the unexpected and do the unexpected. It's the chilling advice a young woman (Bree Turner) thinks about late one night on a lonely stretch of mountain road. The warning, from her survivalist ex-husband, becomes all too real when a car accident leaves her alone, hurt and hunted by a backwoods maniac called "Moonface" (John De Santis). She's learned how to live. She's been trained how to kill. But when trapped in a monster's killing ground, will she know how to survive the most horrific confrontation of all? Ethan Embry and Angus "The Tall Man" Scrimm co-star in this grisly shocker directed by Don Coscarelli and adapted from the short story by Joe R. Lansdale (BUBBA HO-TEP) that The New York Daily News hails as "tantalizingly creepy and scary good!"
Mr. Saturn's rating:


Pretty Good

People who added this item 10  Average listal rating (4 ratings) 6  IMDB Rating
15. Masters of Horror - Sounds Like

Genre: Psychological Horror
For call center supervisor Larry Pearce (Chris Bauer of THE WIRE, THIRD WATCH, 8MM), listening is a way of life. His days are spent monitoring hundreds of tech support phone conversations where his ultra-sensitive ears attuned to every nuance of voice and sound. But in the months following his young son's tragic death, Larry's hearing intensifies until it becomes virtually superhuman. Now simple noises around him have amplified into a cacophony of torment. And as Larry slowly begins to lose his grip on reality, he must take violent action to quiet the deafening clamor. In a world where nothing screams louder than the madness of grief, how far will one man go to find the ultimate paradise of absolute silence?
Mr. Saturn's rating:


Genre: Thriller, Apocalypse
It begins with a terrifying rash of isolated homicides around the world, normal male sexual urges have suddenly transformed into violent rage. Now a pair of scientists (Jason Priestley and Elliott Gould) are in a desperate race against time to figure out how -- and why -- the war between the sexes has turned murderous. Is a mysterious virus making every red-blooded man a potential lady-killer? Kerry Norton (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA) co-stars in this graphic and provocative shocker written by Sam Hamm (BATMAN, HOMECOMING) from the award-winning short story by James Tiptree Jr.
Mr. Saturn's rating:

People who added this item 17  Average listal rating (8 ratings) 6.9  IMDB Rating
17. Masters of Horror: The Washingtonians

Genre: Political Thriller
What if everything we believe about our sacred icons of American history turned out to be a complete lie? Suppose, for example, that The Father of our Country was actually a blood-crazed cannibal? Jonathon Schaech and Saul Rubinek star in this gruesome tale about the discovery of a Revolutionary War artifact that proves George Washington's famed wooden teeth hungered for more than just liberty. How far will a group of homicidal historians go to keep a hero's grisly legacy alive? Would our government deliberately hide the truth to cover-up the meat of the matter? A feast of answers -- complete with huge helpings of human carnage -- will all be served at the final banquet of The Washingtonians.
Mr. Saturn's rating:


The rest of the episodes ranked

Mr. Saturn's rating:

Mr. Saturn's rating:

Mr. Saturn's rating:

People who added this item 9  Average listal rating (5 ratings) 5.2  IMDB Rating
21. Masters of Horror: The V Word
Mr. Saturn's rating:

People who added this item 10  Average listal rating (4 ratings) 7.3  IMDB Rating
22. Masters of Horror: We All Scream for Ice Cre... (1969)
Mr. Saturn's rating:

People who added this item 25  Average listal rating (17 ratings) 5.5  IMDB Rating
23. Masters of Horror: Dance of the Dead
Mr. Saturn's rating:

People who added this item 20  Average listal rating (10 ratings) 5.4  IMDB Rating
24. Masters of Horror: Pick Me Up [Region 1] [... (2006)
Mr. Saturn's rating:

People who added this item 10  Average listal rating (5 ratings) 5.2  IMDB Rating
25. Masters of Horror - Dream Cruise
Mr. Saturn's rating:

Mr. Saturn's rating:


 

Every episode of the Masters of Horror anthology ranked from most to least favorite.
You can see all the episodes for free on YouTube. The descriptions are from the YouTube pages.

If you want a non-gory and safe for kids anthology horror show I recommend The Twilight Zone, Are You Afraid of the Dark, or Goosebumps (Are You Afraid of the Dark is a better kids horror show than Goosebumps).

Added to

My Horror and Thriller Lists (9 lists)
list by Mr. Saturn
Published 1 year, 8 months ago



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Comments

Posted: 1 year, 3 months ago at Dec 30 9:44
Nicely created list - I really like the format
Posted: 11 months, 1 week ago at May 16 6:31
Nice to see these all collected. I've seen 15 of these & it's good to know I'm more than halfway through them. I should really get around to making my own list of these. "The Damned Thing" is easily the worst of the ones I've seen too.
Posted: 11 months, 1 week ago at May 18 0:09
I've made my own list ranking these episodes. I think that's the quickest I've turned one out too haha. And I've linked to this list from the comments there.

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