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Added by The Flagship on 2 Aug 2009 05:40
17793 Views 12 Comments
48
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Impractical Female Armour

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Rating: List Type:
People who added this item 38 Average listal rating (18 ratings) 7.8 IMDB Rating 0


Weak spots: 3
Vital Organs Exposed: Brain, Liver, Stomach, Intestines
Rate:
Owned Wanted Played Custom
People who added this item 16 Average listal rating (4 ratings) 6.3 IMDB Rating 0
Golden Axe: Beast Rider - PlayStation 3


Weak spots: 3
Vital Organs Exposed: Brain, Heart, Lungs, Liver, Kidneys, Stomach, Intestines
Rate:
Owned Wanted Played Custom
People who added this item 28 Average listal rating (17 ratings) 5.9 IMDB Rating 0
Xena: Warrior Princess - PlayStation


Weak spots: 3
Vital Organs Exposed: Brain, Heart
Rate:
Owned Wanted Played Custom
People who added this item 107 Average listal rating (55 ratings) 7.8 IMDB Rating 0
SoulCalibur IV - PlayStation 3


Weak spots: 4
Vital Organs Exposed: Brain, Heart, Lungs, Intestines



Weak spots: 5
Vital Organs Exposed: Brain, Heart, Lungs
Rate:
Owned Wanted Played Custom


Weak spots: 4
Vital Organs Exposed: Brain, Heart, Lungs, Stomach, Intestines
Rate:
Owned Wanted Played Custom
People who added this item 40 Average listal rating (14 ratings) 8.7 IMDB Rating 0
Monster Hunter Freedom 2 - PlayStation Portable


Weak spots: 5
Vital Organs Exposed: Brain, Liver, Kidneys, Stomach, Intestines
Rate:
Owned Wanted Played Custom
People who added this item 984 Average listal rating (710 ratings) 7.4 IMDB Rating 0
World of Warcraft - PC Games


Weak spots: 6
Vital Organs Exposed: Brain, Heart, Liver, Stomach, Intestines, Kidneys
Rate:
Owned Wanted Played Custom
People who added this item 888 Average listal rating (495 ratings) 7.8 IMDB Rating 0
Final Fantasy XII - PlayStation 2


Weak spots: 6
Vital Organs Exposed: Lungs, Heart, Liver, Stomach, Intestines, Kidneys
The Flagship's rating:
Rate:
Owned Wanted Played Custom
People who added this item 11 Average listal rating (5 ratings) 7 IMDB Rating 0


Weak spots: 7
Vital Organs Exposed: Brain, Lungs, Heart,
Rate:
Owned Wanted Played Custom
People who added this item 339 Average listal rating (176 ratings) 7.1 IMDB Rating 0
Guild Wars - PC Games


Weak spots: 8
Vital Organs Exposed: Brain, Lungs, Heart, Liver, Stomach, Intestines, Kidneys
Rate:
Owned Wanted Played Custom


Weak spots: 10
Vital Organs Exposed: Brain, Liver, Kidneys, Stomach, Intestines
Rate:
Owned Wanted Played Custom

Women in computer games are doomed. Whereas men are given brutally intimidating and powerful armour to protect themselves (SEE HERE), women have to make do with the scraps on the ironmonger's floor. Female armour has almost zero chance of protecting the wearer from stray arrows, bullets, shrapnel or even hypothermia.

They don't seem too fussed however, I guess they just assume their foes will aim for the shiny bits, or maybe give up violence altogether in the face of a +10 Cleavage boost.

I've analysed a few 'suits' of 'armour' and tallied up their weak spots. A weak spot is any part of the body that, if struck, would result in dismemberment, disembowelment or death. Surely that's something you'd want to minimise by wearing armour.

Weak spots:
*Neck and Chest
*Upper Arms
*Lower Arms
*Abdomen
*Upper Leg
*Lower Leg


Here's how female armour should be done:



Weak spots: 0
Vital Organs Exposed: None

Added to

Awesome Lists (10 lists)
list by Ricardo R Silveira
Published 4 years, 8 months ago
4 votes
Gaming list(1) (19 lists)
list by to2
Published 4 years, 10 months ago 3 comments



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Comments

Posted: 7 years, 6 months ago at Nov 20 19:03
The GITS armor isn't really armor, her whole body is armor :)
Posted: 7 years, 6 months ago at Nov 23 15:40
I have a great addition for you. This low budget new release even seems to brag about its fine female armour in its title:

http://www.listal.com/game/kings-bounty-armored-princess-pc

yes, she looks very well exposed.. er, i mean, armored. :)
Posted: 7 years, 6 months ago at Nov 24 11:12
Thank you, Prelude, she'll do just fine. Except in combat.
Posted: 7 years, 6 months ago at Nov 26 11:40
Sorry but number 9 does not count, as she is infact an android her whole body is fully robotic fully armoured only her brain is organic and that is the most armoured part of her body. I agree she does not look armoured but the fluff of the character is she can take a pounding.
Posted: 6 years, 6 months ago at Nov 15 19:58
thanx man! entertaining ...... ;)
Posted: 6 years, 4 months ago at Jan 10 11:59
You forgot the exposed inner thigh on all figures. A nasty slash that caught the femoral artery could have your 'warrior-chick' bleeding out in record time!
Posted: 5 years, 1 month ago at Apr 9 6:29
Hilarious list. And you're right about how female armor SHOULD be done!
Avatar
Posted: 4 years, 11 months ago at Jun 5 22:09
I'd like to start with I'm a guy but i always play the female character in any mmo Purely because i don't really believe in playing as "myself" and that playing the opposite sex for me at least add's to the RPG and world of the game.

With that in mind, I really don't care for the skimpy armor look frankly the feminine figure in the regular armor is fine with me not a fan of bouncing bits when your trying to play a game especially if your "Easily stimulated".

Not saying i don't like to look but seriously.. seems a bit ridiculous if you think in terms of armor/protection.
Posted: 4 years, 8 months ago at Sep 26 12:32
they dont need to be protected, they need to be sexy, just that hahaha
Posted: 4 years, 1 month ago at Mar 30 16:14
Tbf, some of these outfits are clearly not intended to be armour even in-Universe. Clearly take your point overall, though.
Posted: 3 years, 8 months ago at Sep 26 17:28
Too late for the party, but I have also a suggestion for the list:



For obvious reasons....
Posted: 3 months, 1 week ago at Feb 14 0:16
Practically the same thought process behind how men can wander around half-naked during combat in games like Golden Axe, Soul Calibur, God of War and Mortal Kombat etc.

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