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Added by The Flagship

on 6 Jan 2009 02:22

5380 Views 11 Comments

Games for Girlfriends

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People who added this item 488  Average listal rating (295 ratings) 7.7  IMDB Rating
1. Half-Life: Counter-Strike - PC Games
Even though I didn't ever take the ratings seriously, I was too afraid to let her loose on my usual server with my username. I was right to be concerned. I thought the ritual humiliation of being instantly killed over and over again would put her off of playing, but she kept at it.

It wasn't until I told her that everyone who had died was watching her hide behind a box whilst the rest of the team was dead, that she panicked and the pressure got to her.
The Flagship's rating:

People who added this item 375  Average listal rating (213 ratings) 7.4  IMDB Rating
2. Unreal Tournament 2004 - PC Games
I left her to her own devices with my mean machine and the whole world at her mercy one day, only to come back and find that she was boasting about clearing the first tier of levels on UT'04.

It seems all the bright colours and endless carnage struck a chord with her. I didn't have the heart to tell her that these beginners levels are about as difficult to complete as a good night's sleep.
The Flagship's rating:

People who added this item 43  Average listal rating (32 ratings) 8.3  IMDB Rating
3. Football Manager 2007 - PC Games
I've no doubt that this game is the bane of her life, but she still made an oblique effort to be interested in it, bless her heart.

Her interest included the creativity and jumping (???) statistics of all of my players, and forcing me into buying a player with the same name as her brother.
The Flagship's rating:

People who added this item 1480  Average listal rating (809 ratings) 8.5  IMDB Rating
4. Final Fantasy VII - PlayStation
To this day she claims to have put in some serious hours to Final Fantasy VII, but I barely believe a word of it. Nowadays she is more concerned with admiring the CGI versions of the characters from Advent Children.
The Flagship's rating:

People who added this item 747  Average listal rating (420 ratings) 8.6  IMDB Rating
5. Shadow of the Colossus - PlayStation 2
She just rode the horse around all day long. She had no interest in hunting and slaying the Colossi, but instead just riding Agro around for hours at a time. She was on hand to offer me extra guilt for whenever I killed a giant though.
The Flagship's rating:

People who added this item 402  Average listal rating (228 ratings) 8.4  IMDB Rating
6. BioShock - PC Games
I wouldn't have recommended this game to her, but she managed to boot it up on her own and start a new game. In her own words:

'I needed to take some diazepam when I first stepped out of the elevator!'

That's right at the beginning, I assume she didn't last very long.
The Flagship's rating:

People who added this item 1573  Average listal rating (933 ratings) 8.3  IMDB Rating
7. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas - PlayStation 2
Like all girls when given the controller in a room full of boys, they feign disinterest in the GTA games. Then they find a baseball bat and the punch button and start beating ten shades out of innocent passers by.

She then went on to exhibit driving skills that were only slightly worse than her real life ability behind the wheel.
The Flagship's rating:

People who added this item 360  Average listal rating (223 ratings) 7.9  IMDB Rating
8. Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back - PlayStation
She has a young relative who is as annoying as losing an arm would be. He plays this game sometimes when he goes to her house. Imagine my shock when I hear him ask her to do a bit that he's stuck on.

With me watching on she folds under pressure and suggests doing something else.
The Flagship's rating:

People who added this item 514  Average listal rating (331 ratings) 8.2  IMDB Rating
9. Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne - PC Games
Like anyone with a pulse, she loved the story of Max Payne. I think her stint as the much-tortured homicide cop is her most successful to date. I can't think of anything embarrassing that she did, except tell me to do the bits 'in-between the story'.
The Flagship's rating:

People who added this item 1718  Average listal rating (1000 ratings) 7.6  IMDB Rating
10. The Sims 2 - PC Games
She loves this game, I hate it.
The Flagship's rating:


Whilst I'd like nothing more than to be able to appreciate and play games with my girlfriend, she is fundamentally useless at all things digital. This is a diary of some of her experiences with games that I have witnessed with my own eyes.

Anyone with a penis and two opposable thumbs - prepare to be shocked and dismayed.

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Posted: 5 years, 8 months ago at Jan 9 2:02
I feel compelled to withold my vote for this fantastical list!
Posted: 5 years ago at Aug 27 14:39
Excellent list!
Posted: 5 years ago at Aug 27 15:19
Funny!!! 10/10
Posted: 5 years ago at Aug 28 2:21
I can TOTALLY see myself when you say "She then went on to exhibit driving skills that were only slightly worse than her real life ability behind the wheel." HAHAH

Laughed a lot, thanks for that! Great list and description (:
Posted: 4 years, 5 months ago at Apr 20 13:57
hahahahaha i think this works for every girlfriend in the whole world, my girlfriend loves the sims too & she cant drive a car or a bike on GTA!
great list pal
Posted: 4 years, 5 months ago at Apr 20 13:58
maybe Halo split screen could works here
Posted: 3 years, 2 months ago at Jul 20 18:00
This is quite hilarious. Nintendo has tried to attract more girls to video gaming, but they just play Wii Sports and the like, and end up being unsuitable to play the hardcore stuff. (Exceptions abound)
Edit: 3 years, 2 months ago
Posted: 1 year, 10 months ago at Nov 14 16:02
Shouldn't your girlfriend be trying to get you to can some of this crap, ("the bane of her life"), instead of encouraging you?

I mean, except for "The Sims", I guess-- "The Friendship Algorithm"!

I mean, if you like your girlfriend, shouldn't you try to appreciate what she actually likes and appreciate how girls are different and stuff, instead of trying to corrupt her and get her into killing and death and shit.

I mean, do you like anything that she likes, or do you just mock in front of the whole internet.

Kind of like how I just mocked you, oooo.
Posted: 1 year, 10 months ago at Nov 14 18:49
Interesting list...... Hey check out my lists also
Posted: 12 months ago at Sep 22 17:12
This list is kinda sexist, you know.
Posted: 11 months, 1 week ago at Oct 16 10:09
Yup, I agree with Loras... Not all girls suck at video games :)

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