Even though I didn't ever take the ratings seriously, I was too afraid to let her loose on my usual server with my username. I was right to be concerned. I thought the ritual humiliation of being instantly killed over and over again would put her off of playing, but she kept at it.
It wasn't until I told her that everyone who had died was watching her hide behind a box whilst the rest of the team was dead, that she panicked and the pressure got to her.
To this day she claims to have put in some serious hours to Final Fantasy VII, but I barely believe a word of it. Nowadays she is more concerned with admiring the CGI versions of the characters from Advent Children.
She just rode the horse around all day long. She had no interest in hunting and slaying the Colossi, but instead just riding Agro around for hours at a time. She was on hand to offer me extra guilt for whenever I killed a giant though.
Like all girls when given the controller in a room full of boys, they feign disinterest in the GTA games. Then they find a baseball bat and the punch button and start beating ten shades out of innocent passers by.
She then went on to exhibit driving skills that were only slightly worse than her real life ability behind the wheel.
Like anyone with a pulse, she loved the story of Max Payne. I think her stint as the much-tortured homicide cop is her most successful to date. I can't think of anything embarrassing that she did, except tell me to do the bits 'in-between the story'.
Whilst I'd like nothing more than to be able to appreciate and play games with my girlfriend, she is fundamentally useless at all things digital. This is a diary of some of her experiences with games that I have witnessed with my own eyes.
Anyone with a penis and two opposable thumbs - prepare to be shocked and dismayed.