Favourite TV Quotes
1171 6.4 7.81. 3rd Rock from the Sun (1996)
Mrs. Sumner: May I take your coat?
Dick: So, how many times do I get to vote?
Dick: Whats the point of having a democracy, if everybodys going to vote wrong?
Dick: Tommy, this is outrageous. The next time you set off the fire alarm, you'd damn well better start a fire first.
Sally: Come on Dick, let's go! We're going to a psychic.
207 7.6 8.62. A Bit of Fry and Laurie (1987)
Stephen: You have a daughter, I believe?
Stephen: When is this "birthday" of his?
Stephen: In plain-flavoured English. When ... is ... your ... son's birthday?
Stephen: A glass of water?
Hugh: Just the model and I suppose some glue.
Stephen: Ah. Well let me explain, Tony. But let me first ask whether you notice anything unusual about the office?
Stephen: Oh no, I don’t listen. I just wait until you’ve finished so I can tell you to piss off.
441 7.9 8.93. Black Adder Goes Forth (1989)
Baldrick: I have a cunning plan.
Blackadder: Come on George, with fifty thousand men getting killed a week, who's gonna miss a pigeon!? [shoots the pigeon]
Blackadder: I spy, with my bored little eye... something beginning with "T."
George: Um... I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with "R."
George: Good Lord, you're quite right sir, it says "mine". So, these mushrooms must belong to the man who made the map.
George: So what do we do if we happen to trot on a mine?
2936 8.2 9.14. Dexter (2006)
Mike Donovan: Hail Mary, full of grace, the lord...
Dexter: I'm thankful for yams.
718 7.9 8.95. Fawlty Towers (1975)
Basil: Right, well I'll go and have a lie down then. No I won't; I'll go and hit some guests.
Sybil: [on the phone] I know... I know... I know... Oh, I know!
Basil: Manuel, go and get me a hammer
3993 8 96. House M.D. (2004)
House: It's not what you think! I know it looks like we're cleaning dishes, but actually, we're having sex.
197 7.7 8.77. Jeeves and Wooster (1990)
Jeeves: Indeed, sir.
442 6.9 7.78. Little Britain (2003)
Lou: Andy, how did you get up there?
Daffyd: I am the only gay in the village.
Narrator: I've always wanted to write a book, but unfortunately I don't have a pen.
Carol Beer: The computer says no.
1003 8.2 99. Monty Python's Flying Circus (1969)
Father: Oh dear, I'm bored ... I'd better go and have a bath.
Tony: Oh, but surely he simply shot himself and then hid the gun.
Mrs. Premise: I just spent four hours burying the cat.
Fourth Bruce: Michael Baldwin, Bruce. Michael Baldwin, Bruce. Michael Baldwin, Bruce.
2721 7.3 8.610. Prison Break (2005)
T-Bag: This picture makes me look like some kinda sociopath.
Abruzzi: Maybe the Beatles were right... maybe all we need is love.
Bellick: Where's the money?
Man at airport: That is heavy, what you got in there?
6 7 7.811. Ripping Yarns (1976)
Eric Olthwaite: It were hard to accept I were boring. Especially with my interest in rain fall.
3039 7.5 8.612. Scrubs (2001)
Janitor: You seem unhappy. I like that.
Janitor: Some hooligan keeps disconnecting the alarm. I told Security to look into it. But no, no, they'd rather catch the guy who's stealing organs from the transplant ward.
Ted: It's my birthday.
Ted: 312 times 481 equals...
Janitor: [answering the emergency phone] Batcave!
1587 7.6 8.913. Six Feet Under (2001)
Ruth: David, are you bringing a special friend to dinner?
David: Hi. You've reached David and Keith but we can't come to the phone right now because we're too GAY.
Nikolai: ... amen. Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy.
179 6.7 7.414. The Middle (2009)
Frankie: We're not rich enough to get a divorce. So we're gonna have to have a fight.
Axl: Eskimos aren't even real. They're just in stories like leprechauns and trolls.
Mike: Oh, and you know, if you keep on whispering to yourself... Santa's not gonna bring you any presents.
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