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Dr. Temperance Brennan on Bones
"Eureka! A gathering of Guidos!"
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Buster Bluth on Arrested Development
"She is not a whore, mother, she happens to be the new secretary of the Bluth company. And yes, she may be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be terrifying."
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Landry Clarke on Friday Night Lights
"I don't think laughing gas is a laughing matter."
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Vincent Nigel-Murray on Bones
"The pelvic bone speaks. It says, 'I be male!'"
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G.O.B. on Arrested Development
"The zero hour, Michael. It's the end of the line. I'm the firstborn. Sick of playing second fiddle. Always third in line for everything. Tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. There are six things I'm mad about, and I'm taking over."
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Andy Dwyer on Parks and Recreation
"If you re-arrange the letters of Peru, you get Europe."
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Dan Stark on The Good Guys
"Ears grow back--that window was a factory original!"
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Jared Franklin on Franklin & Bash
"Thanks for reminding me that a goat died in my arms."
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Peter Bash on Franklin & Bash
"Maybe if someone hadn't brought a lightsaber into a courtroom we wouldn't be grounded like ten year olds."
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Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation
"I'm sorry, I can't hear hippies."
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Coach Eric Taylor on Friday Night Lights
"Clear Eyes, Full Hearts...ehh we'll deal with that later."
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Dr. House on House
"I like you better now that you're dying."
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Jess on New Girl
"Oh but you didn't know I do this. I'm mime walking. I'm Mime-chael Jackson."
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Hank Moody on Californication
"Enjoy the shit out of your tampons!"
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Vince Masuka on Dexter
"When it comes to matters of the heart, always follow your dick."
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Seely Booth on Bones
"Important blogger? Talk about an oxymoron."
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Abed on Community
"The kid's gonna be a star, he's a young 'the asian guy from Lost.'"
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Seth Cohen on The O.C.
"Carson Daly and a ball dropping.... There's two words that should never be used in the same sentence."
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Veronica Mars on Veronica Mars
"Nooobody likes a blonde in a hamster ball."
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Guerrero on Human Target
"I'm gonna give you a choice. Because I believe in every human being's right to being tortured democratically."
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