Favorite One-Man Armies

1321   7.2   7.7 

John Rambo

Played by Sylvester Stallone

Also seen in:
Rambo: First Blood Part II
Rambo III
Rambo

Here is why he is the best:
(#128 is my favorite)

Stehako's rating:

7227   7.7   8.1 

The Bride

Played by Uma Thurman

Also seen in:
Kill Bill Vol. 2

She kills anyone in her way on her way to find Bill, and the below clip is the best example of why she's on this list.

Stehako's rating:

3799   7.7   8.3 

John McClane

Sure he had some help from Samuel L. Jackson and Justin Long; but he's still one of cinema's most bad-ass one-man armies.

Also Seen in:
Die Hard 2: Die Harder
Die Hard with a Vengeance
Live Free or Die Hard

A montage for our her to a little appropriate Christmas music:

Stehako's rating:

3907   7.4   7.9 

Jason Bourne

The movie that started one of the more ass-kicking trilogies ever. Bourne will fight anyone who gets in his way to finding his identity

Also Seen in:
The Bourne Supremacy
The Bourne Ultimatum

A nice little montage of Bourne kicking ass through his confusion of identity.

Stehako's rating:

1690   6.9   7.2 

El Mariachi

played by Antonio Banderas and Carlos Gallardo

Also seen in:
El Mariachi
Once Upon a Time in Mexico

Bad-ass evolved in three films.
Below is one of my favorite scenes of the unofficial trilogy

Stehako's rating:

4651   7   7.6 

Batman/Bruce Wayne

The caped crusader has been a one-man-army in all his films (we won't count "Batman & Robin" as a film) and he's managed to survive each film after being attacked by hundreds of thugs.

Also Seen In:
Batman Returns
Batman: Mask of the Phantasm
Batman Forever
Batman Begins
The Dark Knight

Here is a video featuring his one-man-armyness via the Bat Mobile, with te U2 song from "Batman Forever" dubbed over it.

Stehako's rating:

1063   6.2   6.7 

Smith

A film that's brilliantly true to its name. It's nearly non-stop shooting and killing, in some of the most inventive ways. It's so ridiculous it makes it fun and can't help but laugh at its awesomeness. Plus Monica Bellucci is hot.

This video shows the very start of the film, and sets the tone for literally the entire film.

Stehako's rating:

1032   7.4   8 

Kong

"Nobody wants to play with me!" is what I feel like Kong was saying half the time when he's destroying the city and getting shot by planes. The ape's in love, just leave him alone!

Also Seen In:
King Kong vs. Godzilla
King Kong Escapes
King King Lives
The Mighty Kong
King Kong (2005)

Here's the famous Empire State Building scene, starts about 1:00

Stehako's rating:

351   7   7 

Paul Kersey

played by Charles Bronsan

also seen in:
Death Wish II
Death Wish 3
Death Wish 4: The Crackdown
Death Wish V: The Face of Death
Death Wish (2011)

Here is a nice compilation of all Kersey's kills and why he's a great one-man-army

Stehako's rating:

2131   7.4   7.9 

Bryan Mills

Neeson plays an even more bad-ass role than he did in Batman Begins.
At first you think he's just an over-protective father, then you realize he means business and when I say business, I mean mother-fucking business.


SPOILER* - This montage will give away how bad-ass he really is in this film.

Stehako's rating:

246   7.5   7.5 

Walker

Intelligent, mistaken, a ladies man, and old; but most importantly he kicked ass.

In this video he kills the shit out of a REAL tough guy...




(He kicked the bed's ass)

Stehako's rating:

6046   7.7   8.5 

Maximus Decimus Meridius

The ultimate bad-ass hero in a film that has amazing fight scenes AND follows it up with a great script.

Here is a perfect example, with a video (spliced by an amateur for those haven't seen the film) featuring a great speech and fighting (easily killing) several foes.

Stehako's rating:

880   7.5   7.7 

Lee

He's made several kung-fu films (I know, not news) and even though this isn't his best film it's his best known.

Here is a classic scene played out by action figures:

Stehako's rating:

1322   7.6   7.8 

Harry Callahan

Eastwood did a series of films featuring this great one-man-army who deals with a lot of "punks"

Also Seen In:
Dirty Harry's Way
Magnum Force
The Enforcer
Sudden Impact
The Dead Pool

Here's a video (from Magnum Force) that proves he's so great he deserves his own song:

Stehako's rating:

1124   7   7.3 

James Bond

Dr. No, because it was the first, but this entry is for all the Ian Flemming films, (although each one truly deserves recognition all on their own); but here's one video for the sake of brevity.

Also Seen In:
22 other 007 films

Here's a video of some ass-kicking with style and grace (I wish it included Daniel Craig, however.)

Stehako's rating:

1112   6.5   6.7 

John Matrix

Arnold shooting a shit-ton of people with machine guns and kicking ass with his Austrian pipes. That's all you need to know.

Here is one of my favorite examples:

Stehako's rating:

633   5.9   6.4 

Casey Ryback

Proof that awesome fighting skills and acting don't go hand-in-hand. My favorite of the brilliantly bad Seagal films is Under Siege.

Also Seen in:
Under Siege 2: Dark Territory

Here are four examples of why he is the one-man-army we all adore:

Stehako's rating:

1296   7.2   7.6 

William 'D-Fens' Foster

A precursor to Smith in "Shoot Em Up", where people manage to piss this guy off in familiar situations where a normal sane citizen would let it go.

A blissful example of his breakdown during this wonderfully anti-heroic day:

Stehako's rating:

963   5.8   6.3 

Gabe Walker

Stallone is the king of one-man-armies, he's just a hair above Seagal and Van Damme.

(video contains one of my favorite creative killings)



Did you see that coming? Way to use your surroundings, Sly!

Stehako's rating:

813   6.4   7.1 

Porter

In an underrated performance Mel Gibson puts out one of his more entertaining roles as a pissed-off criminal who just wants his money he rightfully deserves (and the exact amount) no matter how great the counter offers are. He doesn't take any bull shit, but he does rip off nose rings...

Poor quality video, but here are some examples of this one-man-army train wreck:

Stehako's rating:

1948   7.2   7.8 

Slevin Kelevra

The only good thing Josh Hartnett ever starred in.


*WARNING: VIDEO IS A SPOILER*

Stehako's rating:

1816   7.1   7.8 

Jaguar Paw

A film basically surrounded around Jaguar Paw running from the bad natives and then kicking their ass one by one, using spryness and knowledge of his forest.

It's surprisingly captivating, here's a good example:
SPOILER* - All these dudes die

Stehako's rating:

1929   7.1   7.6 

John Preston

The criminally under-seen Matrix-compared film, with Christian Bale acting as non-human as Keanu; but is actually supposed to be that way.

Here is the last superb "fight" scene where Bale doesn't break a sweat killing dozens of drones. I recommend starting at 2:30 if you want to pass the all dialogue.

Stehako's rating:

1188   6.3   6.9 

Conan

Classic 80s character who fights his way through anything.

Also Seen In:
Conan the Destroyer
Red Sonja

Unable to find any good fighting clips, I thought I'd treat you to Arnold laughing, in a scene.

Stehako's rating:

1870   5.4   5.8 

Xander Cage

During a time of rampant popularity in extreme sports, Vin Diesel wisely chose this typical poorly-scripted movie to show off his fighting skills and become what the producers claimed to be the James Bond of a new generation. That clearly didn't last too long, but good try!

Rammstein helps provide the music in this series of clips showing his one-man-army performance

Stehako's rating:

2953   6.7   7 

Selene

The hottest one-man-army on the list

Also Seen In:
Underworld: Evolution


This clip is actually from Evolution, after being unable to find any from the first film.

Stehako's rating:

2447   5.1   5.7 

Bruce Banner/Hulk

Angry and poorly finished, but it's still a great character and story.

Also Seen In:
The Incredible Hulk
The Avengers (2012)

Here he is getting pissed off at tanks:

Stehako's rating:

2409   7.5   7.5 

Scott Pilgrim

The weakest on the list; but ass is still kicked and it's kicked in some visually fun ways.

Stehako's rating:

1430   7.3   7.6 

Ash

Also Seen in:
The Evil Dead
Evil Dead II
Evil Dead (2013)

Stehako's rating:

102   6.4   6.1 

Mohammed

People, dogs, wolves, a fish, and a milky breast all lose to Mohammed.

Stehako's rating: