Child/Children: Kevin, Taylor and Justin Specialities: Wowing a crowd, entertainment, disgruntled facial expressions, TLC Wife/Partner: Helen Buckman
Best Line:"As I was walkin' away, I slip around on his guts. A couple of other people came by and started slippin' on his guts too. After I blow a hole in somebody and slip around on their guts... afterwards, I always like to make balloon animals!!"
Child/Children: Tonya, Skip, Slim, Willie, Tim Specialities: Vengeance, Moral high-ground Wife/Partner: Gwen
Best Line:"We ain't no friends, Jake. We are on different sides of the line, I ain't never seen you in my part of town. I bet you don't even know where I live. Our daughters, Jake; they ain't never gonna play together."
Best Line:"Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for... sister. So, you have a twin sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her, too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Dark Side... then perhaps she will"
Child/Children: Christopher Specialities: Making it alone, hard work, moral paragon, running, underdog Wife/Partner: Separated
Best Line:"I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it."
Child/Children: Billy Specialities: Adapting, Juggling, Keeping house Wife/Partner: Separated
Best Line:"So the other morning, I'm at the refrigerator... you know, getting Billy ready for school. So I'm just in my underwear and he notices I've lost weight. And he comes in and pats me...and he says 'Daddy, you've really lost a lot of weight', he looks up at me and he says 'And it's all gone to your nose.' He was so cute. You know?"
Child/Children: Audrey, Russell Specialities: Hi-jinx, Recovering Injury, Outlandishness Wife/Partner: Ellen
Best Line:"Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse."
Child/Children: Jim Specialities: Delivering embarrassing speeches, being Jewish, brushing things under the carpet Wife/Partner: 'Jim's Mum'
Best Line:"It's like playing a tennis ball against a brick wall, which can be fun. It can be fun, but it's not a game."
A tribute to cinemas greatest fathers
Other Notable Fathers
Frank Abagnale - Catch me if you Can
Papa Mousekewitz - An American Tail
George Banks - Father of the Bride
Marlin - Finding Nemo
Geppetto - Pinocchio
Albert Goldman - The Birdcage
Royal Tenenbaum - The Royal Tenenbaums
Harry Sultenfuss - My Girl