Cheery songs that are actually depressing.

7   8.8  

Feels like: A hazy, late-summer cookout.

Is actually about: A kid who swiped his dad's gun and is about to go on a shooting spree.

Dead giveaway: "All the other kids with the pumped up kicks, you'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet."

Bad☆Alice's rating:

33   8.9  

Feels like: A college kegger.

Is actually about: Growing up leads only to wasted youth and bitching about growing up. It's a "Peter Pan" ode soaked in stale beer and regret, basically.

Dead giveaway: "Well, time slips away and leaves you with nothing, mister, but boring stories of glory days."

9   6.5  

18   7.5  

Feels like: Austin Powers jaunting down the street with a horde of dancers in tow.

Is actually about: A hard-partying druggie.

Dead giveaway: "Yeah I'm through with sleeping on the sidewalk--no more beating my brains...with the liquor and drugs...well I am just a modern guy, of course I've had it in my ear before."

185   7.6  

Feels like: Skateboarding on a California boardwalk in the mid '90s, preferably while wearing Jncos.

Is actually about: An underage prostitute pimped out by her dad.

Dead giveaway: "Annie's 12 years old, in two more she'll be a whore. Nobody ever told her it's the wrong way. Don't be afraid, with the quickness you'll get laid, for your family get paid."

15   8.1  

Feels like: A Southern road trip on the Fourth of July.

Is actually about: How your government wants to chew you up and spit you out.

Dead giveaway: "And when the band plays 'Hail to the Chief,' oh, they point the cannon at you."

150   7.3  

Feels like: A super-dramatic dance party.

Is actually about: A girl so pathetic and lonely that she has given up on trying to find love on Earth, and thus yearns for an alien to abduct and then vigorously probe her.

Dead giveaway: "Fill me with your poison. Take me, ta-ta-take me. Wanna be a victim,

Bad☆Alice's rating:

143   7.1  

Feels like: Something you'd hear at the high school dance in "Back To The Future."

Is actually about: A guy takes his woman out on a date, and they are in a horrific car crash. He lives, she dies in his arms.

Dead giveaway: "I lifted her head, she looked at me and said, 'Hold me darling, just a little while.' I held her close, I kissed her our last kiss...I lost my love, my life that night."

Bad☆Alice's rating:

43   7.4  

Feels like: The last surge of a late, drunken night.

Is actually about: Trying to convince a stubborn prostitute to stop being a such a GD stubborn prostitute.

Dead giveaway: "Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light, those days are over. You don't have to sell your body to the night. Roxanne, you don't have to wear that dress tonight, walk the streets for money."

842   8.2  

Feels Like: Something you could easily boogie too!

Actually About: Maxwell hitting people over the head with his silver hammer and making sure they are dead.

Bad☆Alice's rating:

64   7.5  

Sounds Like: Something rather upbeat and a song that could be played at a high school dance.

This song about asserting your independence was the theme to the 1980 television sitcom Bosom Buddies - the one that introduced many of us to Tom Hanks (in a dress!). However, because of licensing issues, the title theme was not Joel's version and was sung by a soundalike singer.

10   7.6  

Sounds like he's so happy and laid back singing this song!

This song is specifically about someone meeting a 'new' lover, and they are suggesting ways to help in the situation. They are suggesting '50 Ways To Leave Your Lover'

Bad☆Alice's rating:

10   9  

11   6.9  

4   8.3  

2   0