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Added by Jamie M.

on 2 Sep 2011 06:59

 
128
7433 Views   26 Comments

Celebrity Insults

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Average listal rating (35 ratings) 6.3  IMDB Rating
1. Jimmy Kimmel
about Jay Leno

"Oh, this is a trick, right? Where you get me to host The Tonight Show and then take it back from me?"

"All you have to take of is cars. We have lives to lead here. You have $800 million for God's sake. Leave our shows alone."

Average listal rating (37 ratings) 5.7  IMDB Rating
2. Howard Stern
about Jay Leno

“I’ve never seen anybody who behaves like a robot like this guy. Where’s the emotion? Where’s the humanity?”

Average listal rating (41 ratings) 7.9  IMDB Rating
3. Johnny Rotten
about Jay Leno and David Letterman

“I hold both of them in nothing but the most complete and utter contempt. If they were two sides of a coin, I’d toss it in the river.”

Average listal rating (38 ratings) 6.5  IMDB Rating
4. Lena Dunham
about Shia LaBeouf's skywritting apology.

"I have always felt, utterly and unchangeably, that only sociopaths hire skywritters."

after getting a tweeted apolgy, from Shia (which oddly enough, was copied from an apology Lena made awhile back)..

"Vaguely recognize Shia LaBeouf's latest twitter apolgy, and realized it was Mine! Touche, Louis Stevens."

Average listal rating (70 ratings) 6.5  IMDB Rating
5. Patton Oswalt
about Shia LaBeouf's plagiarism

"If you're going to be that dumb and delusional and boring, when you speak, just go ahesd and plagerize."

Average listal rating (535 ratings) 6.7  IMDB Rating
6. Seth Rogen
about Shia LaBeouf's plagiarism.

"This is by far, the most that I've ever been entertained by Shia LaBeouf."
Jamie M.'s rating:

Average listal rating (2207 ratings) 7.7  IMDB Rating
7. Jim Carrey
about Shia LaBeouf

"Dying is easy, comedy is hard. I believe it was Shia LaBeouf who said that."

Average listal rating (50 ratings) 5  IMDB Rating
8. Gilbert Gottfried
about Toronto Mayor Rob Ford:

“I like the fact that he said he did smoke crack but he was in a drunken stupor at the time. In all fairness, he only drinks when he’s on acid. And he only takes acid after he’s strangled a hooker.”

“He said now’s the time to get back to work. I thought, yeah you have to get back to work to buy crack. Crack doesn’t buy itself.”

Average listal rating (1732 ratings) 7.4  IMDB Rating
9. Matt Damon
about Sarah Palin

"It's like a really bad Disney movie. The hockey mom, you know, 'oh, I'm just a hockey mom'... and she's facing down President Putin... It's totally absurd... it's a really terrifying possibility... I need to know if she really thinks that dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago. I want to know that, I really do. Because she's gonna have the nuclear codes."

Average listal rating (137 ratings) 7.7  IMDB Rating
10. Jon Stewart
about Sarah Palin

"She said that small towns, that's the part of the country she really likes going to because that's the pro-America part of the country. You know, I just want to say to her, just very quickly: Fuck you."

"When you think about it, Alaska is also near the North Pole, so she must also be friends with Santa."

about Toronto Mayor Rob Ford:

"Whoa, what, what, whaat, whaaaat?! Somewhere in a basement, through his tears, Anthony Weiner is going‘what the fuck’?”
Jamie M.'s rating:

Average listal rating (153 ratings) 6.8  IMDB Rating
11. Jon Bon Jovi
about Justin Bieber being constantly late for concerts, on his latest tour.

"Do it once, you can be forgiven. Do it enough times and shame on you. They won’t have you back. Then it just becomes a cliché. It's really not cool you’re an asshole. Go to fuckin’ work!"

Average listal rating (1261 ratings) 8.5  IMDB Rating
12. Clint Eastwood
about Barack Obama

“How do you handle promises that you have made when you were running for election, and how do you handle them? I mean, what do you say to people? When somebody doesn’t do the job, you gotta let ’em go,”


Average listal rating (52 ratings) 6.2  IMDB Rating
13. Don Rickles
to Ernest Borgnine

"Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident?"

Average listal rating (21 ratings) 8.3  IMDB Rating
14. George Bernard Shaw
to Winston Churchill

"Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend - if you have one."

Average listal rating (45 ratings) 8.3  IMDB Rating
15. Winston Churchill
Churchill's reply

"Impossible to be present for the first performance. Will attend second - if there is one."


Average listal rating (86 ratings) 2.6  IMDB Rating
16. Donald Trump
to Larry King

"Do you mind if I sit back a little? Because your breath is very bad."

about Rosie O'Donnell

"Well, I always knew that Oprah was smart. Frankly, that was just going to happen. I knew it immediately as soon as they announced it. Rosie fails at everything. She had a variety show that failed.... Somebody else, some moron, will come and hire her again to do something else, and that will fail. At some point, let her rest. Let her go away."

"Rosie O'Donnell has failed again. Her ratings were abysmal and Oprah cancelled her on Friday night. When will media executives learn that Rosie just hasn't got it."

Average listal rating (11 ratings) 7.3  IMDB Rating
17. John McEnroe
to a line judge

"You can't see as well as these fucking flowers - and they're fucking plastic."

Average listal rating (172 ratings) 6.8  IMDB Rating
18. Bette Midler
about Helen Reddy

"She aught to be arrested for loitering in front of an orchestra."

Average listal rating (17 ratings) 8  IMDB Rating
19. Howard Hughes
to Robert Mitchum

"You're like a pay toilet, aren't you? You don't give a shit for nothing."

Average listal rating (62 ratings) 8.4  IMDB Rating
20. Muhammad Ali
to Joe Frazier

"Joe Frazier is so ugly he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wildlife."

Average listal rating (41 ratings) 7.4  IMDB Rating
21. Mamie Van Doren
about Warren Beatty

"He's the type of man who will end up dying in his own arms."

Average listal rating (772 ratings) 8.6  IMDB Rating
22. Marlon Brando
about Montgomery Clift

"He acts like he's got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn't want anyone to know it."

to Val Kilmer

"You're confusing your talents with the size of your paycheck".

Average listal rating (23 ratings) 8.3  IMDB Rating
23. Johnny Carson
about Chevy Chase

"He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner."

about Roseanne Barr

"The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered."

Average listal rating (102 ratings) 7.1  IMDB Rating
24. Van Morrison
about The Beatles

"The Beatles were peripheral. If you had more knowledge about music, it didn't really mean anything."

Average listal rating (170 ratings) 8  IMDB Rating
25. Joan Crawford
about Judy Garland

"I didn't know her well, but after watching her in action I didn't want to know her well."


Average listal rating (12 ratings) 8.7  IMDB Rating
26. Robert Frost
about T.S. Eliot

"T. S. Eliot and I like to play, but I like to play euchre, while he likes to play Eucharist."

Average listal rating (67 ratings) 4.3  IMDB Rating
27. Joan Rivers
about Bo Derek

"She turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines."

about Rihanna

"Rihanna confessed to Oprah Winfey that she still loves Chris Brown. Idiot! Now it's MY turn to slap her."

Average listal rating (242 ratings) 7  IMDB Rating
28. Spike Lee
about Quentin Tarantino

“I’m not against the word, and I use it, but not excessively. And some people speak that way. But, Quentin is infatuated with that word. What does he want to be made — an honorary black man?”

about Tyler Perry

“We got a black president, and we going back to Mantan Moreland and Sleep ‘n’ Eat?”

Average listal rating (47 ratings) 5.4  IMDB Rating
29. Tyler Perry
about Spike Lee

“Spike can go straight to hell! You can print that… Spike needs to shut the hell up!”

Average listal rating (514 ratings) 6.2  IMDB Rating
30. Charlie Sheen
about Colin Farrell

"I've got three words for him: Am. A. Teur."

about Chuck Lorre, producer of the show, Two and A Half Men

"He's a stupid, stupid little man, and a pussy punk that I 'd never want to be. That's me being polite."

Average listal rating (207 ratings) 8.7  IMDB Rating
31. Werner Herzog
about Jean-Luc Godard

“Someone like Jean-Luc Godard is for me intellectual counterfeit money when compared to a good kung-fu film.”

about Abel Ferrara

“I have no idea who Abel Ferrara is. But let him fight the windmills… I’ve never seen a film by him. I have no idea who he is. Is he Italian? Is he French? Who is he?”

Average listal rating (21 ratings) 6.3  IMDB Rating
32. Paul Weller
about Sting and Bono

"I don't like them because their music is rubbish. I don't like how conceited they are and how seriously they take themselves."

Average listal rating (10 ratings) 8.4  IMDB Rating
33. Cornel Wilde
about Richard Gere

"He doesn’t smile, he leers. Not exactly an intellectual, either. for a while, that dropping his pants bit was an effective gimmick for the screen, but any way you measure it, his talent doesn’t add up."

Average listal rating (102 ratings) 6.9  IMDB Rating
34. Joni Mitchell
about Bob Dylan

"Bob is not authentic at all. He's a plagiarist, and his name and voice are fake."

Average listal rating (11 ratings) 8.9  IMDB Rating
35. Dorothy Parker
hearing of Calvin Coolidge's death.

"How can they tell?"

about Katherine Hepburn

"She ran the whole gamut of emotions from A to B."

about Dame Edith Evans

"She looks like something that would eat its young."

Average listal rating (384 ratings) 7.4  IMDB Rating
36. Tina Fey
about Monica Lewinsky

"Monica Lewinsky has agreed to host a new Fox reality show called Mr. Personality. Lewinsky says this way, when people ask her the most degrading thing she's ever done, she'll have a new answer."

Average listal rating (342 ratings) 8.7  IMDB Rating
37. Orson Welles
about Jean-Luc Godard

“His gifts as a director are enormous. I just can’t take him very seriously as a thinker — and that’s where we seem to differ, because he does. His message is what he cares about these days, and, like most movie messages, it could be written on the head of a pin.”

Average listal rating (137 ratings) 8.3  IMDB Rating
38. Burt Lancaster
about Sylvester Stallone's height

"Sly Stallone is 5’7, I believe. Shorter than you’d think, not just short on talent. Anyway, he only hires actors his height or shorter, unless they’re to play some kind of freakish villain."

Average listal rating (14 ratings) 6.6  IMDB Rating
39. Charles Barkley
about Dennis Rodman

"Dennis has become like a prostitute, but now it's gotten ridiculous, to the point where he will do anything humanly possible to make money."

Average listal rating (67 ratings) 5.8  IMDB Rating
40. Gene Simmons
about Carlos Santana

"I'm sick and tired of these bands like Carlos Santana looking at his shoes and thinking that's a rock concert."

Average listal rating (56 ratings) 8  IMDB Rating
41. Carlos Santana
about Gene Simmons

"He's not a musician, he's an entertainer. Kiss is Las Vegas entertainment, so he wouldn't know what music is anyway."

Average listal rating (9 ratings) 7.3  IMDB Rating
42. Bob Costas
about Dennis Rodman

"He has so many fish hooks in his nose, he looks like a piece of bait."

Average listal rating (933 ratings) 7.7  IMDB Rating
43. David Bowie
about Mick Jagger

"I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized to how many people he is not a sex symbol but a mother image."
Jamie M.'s rating:

Average listal rating (413 ratings) 8.1  IMDB Rating
44. David Cronenberg
about M. Night Shyamalan

“I HATE that guy! Next question.”

Average listal rating (277 ratings) 6.5  IMDB Rating
45. Prince
about Michael Jackson

"Michael Jackson's album was only called "Bad" because there wasn't enough room on the sleeve for "Pathetic."

Average listal rating (288 ratings) 8.2  IMDB Rating
46. Bette Davis
about Marilyn Monroe

"She’s the original good time had by all."

about Joan Crawford

"Joan always cries a lot. Her tear ducts must be close to her bladder."

Average listal rating (129 ratings) 7.3  IMDB Rating
47. Conan O'Brien
about Tommy Lee

"Pamela Lee said her name is tattooed on her husband's penis. Which explains why she changed her name from Anderson to Lee."

about Toronto Mayor Rob Ford:

“Rob Ford, the mayor of Toronto, who was recently caught smoking crack, has now been uninvited to the city’s Christmas parade. Ford said, ‘Too bad, I was going to bring the best snow.’”

“The Ford motor company is angry at Toronto mayor Rob Ford for using their logo. Apparently it’s led to confusion because both Fords are known for their moderately priced escorts.”
Jamie M.'s rating:

Average listal rating (347 ratings) 7.8  IMDB Rating
48. Paul McCartney
about John Lennon

"He could be a maneuvering swine, which no one ever realized."

Average listal rating (265 ratings) 8.3  IMDB Rating
49. Jean-Luc Godard
about Quentin Tarantino

“Tarantino named his production company after one of my films. He’d have done better to give me some money.”

about Steven Spielberg

“I don’t know him personally. I don’t think his films are very good.”

Average listal rating (74 ratings) 7.1  IMDB Rating
50. Vincent Gallo
about Spike Jonze

“He’s the biggest fraud out there. If you bring him to a party he’s the least interesting person at the party, he’s the person who doesn’t know anything. He’s the person who doesn’t say anything funny, interesting, intelligent… He’s a pig piece of shit.”

about Martin Scorsese

“I wouldn’t work for Martin Scorsese for $10 million. He hasn’t made a good film in 25 years. I would never work with an egomaniac has-been.”

about Roger Ebert

"The only thing I'm sorry for is putting a curse of Roger Ebert's colon."



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Comments

Posted: 1 year, 10 months ago at Jun 11 0:14
That was something.
Posted: 1 year, 10 months ago at Jun 11 19:41
Wow! Great finds! It's especially to read the ones from the stars of yesteryear.
Posted: 1 year, 10 months ago at Jun 11 21:09
Thanks!
Posted: 1 year, 9 months ago at Jul 11 10:54
'Hollywood is seldom what it seems.'

A touch of irony from Mr Hudson, there.
Posted: 1 year, 9 months ago at Jul 11 10:54
*sorry, double post*
Posted: 1 year, 9 months ago at Jul 11 17:12
That's ok.
Posted: 1 year, 7 months ago at Sep 14 18:13
This list is awesome!! Had a good laugh at some of them!
Posted: 1 year, 5 months ago at Oct 19 19:06
Here are some suggestions you might like:
Nicki Minaj about Lil kim
Lil kim about Nicki minaj
Rihanna about Ciara.
Charlie sheen about denise richards
John hamm about Kim K
Whitney Houston about wendy Williams
Cher about Madonna
2pac about biggie smalls
Amy winehouse about kanye west
Michael Jackson about Madonna
Mary J. Blige about Christina Aguilera
Amy winehouse about billie holiday
Posted: 1 year, 5 months ago at Oct 20 15:00
Consider, most of it done!
Posted: 1 year, 5 months ago at Oct 28 9:56
so much hate..
Posted: 1 year, 5 months ago at Nov 9 22:36
Cool list, thanks for the hard work.
Posted: 1 year, 5 months ago at Nov 9 23:24
Eminem and ICP
Posted: 1 year, 5 months ago at Nov 10 16:12
Thanks for the comments, everyone!
Posted: 1 year, 4 months ago at Nov 28 17:28
Just when you thought Joan Crawford couldn't be any more of a bitch (yes, I'm referencing the infamous Mommie Dearest). However, Mark Hamill's comment about Romney is hilarious.
Posted: 1 year, 4 months ago at Nov 29 18:33
Wow great list,
I think theres something Samuel L Jackson said about the douche Spike Lee.
Posted: 1 year, 3 months ago at Jan 2 11:03
oh the hate !!!!goes to show everybody got something nasty to say about somebody
Posted: 1 year, 3 months ago at Jan 2 18:45
After Dustin Hoffman stayed up for two days straight while using his method acting "technique", he came in to work on Marathon Man with Lawrence Olivier who told him..

"Try acting... Its much easier!"
Posted: 1 year, 3 months ago at Jan 2 18:50
Love the hitemup lyrics ....oh and I haaate madonna and dont get me started on rianna chris should have finished the job if you ask me
Posted: 1 year, 3 months ago at Jan 2 20:56
Interesting list, but some of them are not real "insults", just ironic remarks :)
Posted: 1 year, 2 months ago at Jan 21 17:56
Etta James on Beyonce
"I cant stand Beyonce"
Posted: 1 year ago at Mar 31 8:56
Awesome :))
Posted: 1 year ago at Mar 31 12:14
Great list
Posted: 8 months, 1 week ago at Aug 7 17:17
Thanks everyone, for voting! You rock!
Posted: 6 months, 1 week ago at Oct 6 17:36
120 votes? Thanks again, everyone!
Posted: 6 months, 1 week ago at Oct 7 18:55
LOL about Brando's and Hepbrum's comments
Posted: 1 month, 2 weeks ago at Mar 3 4:26
Matt Damon on Sarah Palin was hilarious,
also Pink was right about Kanye West, he is a piece of shit.

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