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Added by Jamie M.

on 2 Sep 2011 06:59

 
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Celebrity Insults

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Average listal rating (1657 ratings) 7.4  
1. Matt Damon
about Sarah Palin

"It's like a really bad Disney movie. The hockey mom, you know, 'oh, I'm just a hockey mom'... and she's facing down President Putin... It's totally absurd... it's a really terrifying possibility... I need to know if she really thinks that dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago. I want to know that, I really do. Because she's gonna have the nuclear codes."

Average listal rating (127 ratings) 7.6  
2. Jon Stewart
about Sarah Palin

"She said that small towns, that's the part of the country she really likes going to because that's the pro-America part of the country. You know, I just want to say to her, just very quickly: Fuck you."

"When you think about it, Alaska is also near the North Pole, so she must also be friends with Santa."
Jamie M.'s rating:

Average listal rating (140 ratings) 6.7  
3. Jon Bon Jovi
about Justin Bieber being constantly late for concerts, on his latest tour.

"Do it once, you can be forgiven. Do it enough times and shame on you. They won’t have you back. Then it just becomes a cliché. It's really not cool you’re an asshole. Go to fuckin’ work!"

Average listal rating (1180 ratings) 8.5  
4. Clint Eastwood
about Barack Obama

“How do you handle promises that you have made when you were running for election, and how do you handle them? I mean, what do you say to people? When somebody doesn’t do the job, you gotta let ’em go,”


Average listal rating (48 ratings) 6  
5. Don Rickles
to Ernest Borgnine

"Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident?"

Average listal rating (19 ratings) 8.5  
6. George Bernard Shaw
to Winston Churchill

"Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend - if you have one."

Churchill's reply

"Impossible to be present for the first performance. Will attend second - if there is one."


Average listal rating (76 ratings) 2.6  
8. Donald Trump
to Larry King

"Do you mind if I sit back a little? Because your breath is very bad."

about Rosie O'Donnell

"Well, I always knew that Oprah was smart. Frankly, that was just going to happen. I knew it immediately as soon as they announced it. Rosie fails at everything. She had a variety show that failed.... Somebody else, some moron, will come and hire her again to do something else, and that will fail. At some point, let her rest. Let her go away."

"Rosie O'Donnell has failed again. Her ratings were abysmal and Oprah cancelled her on Friday night. When will media executives learn that Rosie just hasn't got it."

Average listal rating (11 ratings) 7.3  
9. John McEnroe
to a line judge

"You can't see as well as these fucking flowers - and they're fucking plastic."

Average listal rating (154 ratings) 6.8  
10. Bette Midler
about Helen Reddy

"She aught to be arrested for loitering in front of an orchestra."

Average listal rating (13 ratings) 7.7  
11. Howard Hughes
to Robert Mitchum

"You're like a pay toilet, aren't you? You don't give a shit for nothing."

Average listal rating (52 ratings) 8.1  
12. Muhammad Ali
to Joe Frazier

"Joe Frazier is so ugly he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wildlife."

Average listal rating (33 ratings) 7.5  
13. Mamie Van Doren
about Warren Beatty

"He's the type of man who will end up dying in his own arms."

Average listal rating (705 ratings) 8.7  
14. Marlon Brando
about Montgomery Clift

"He acts like he's got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn't want anyone to know it."

to Val Kilmer

"You're confusing your talents with the size of your paycheck".

Average listal rating (17 ratings) 8.1  
15. Johnny Carson
about Chevy Chase

"He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner."

about Roseanne Barr

"The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered."

Average listal rating (96 ratings) 7.3  
16. Van Morrison
about The Beatles

"The Beatles were peripheral. If you had more knowledge about music, it didn't really mean anything."

Average listal rating (148 ratings) 8  
17. Joan Crawford
about Judy Garland

"I didn't know her well, but after watching her in action I didn't want to know her well."


Average listal rating (11 ratings) 8.5  
18. Robert Frost
about T.S. Eliot

"T. S. Eliot and I like to play, but I like to play euchre, while he likes to play Eucharist."

Average listal rating (60 ratings) 4.1  
19. Joan Rivers
about Bo Derek

"She turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines."

about Rihanna

"Rihanna confessed to Oprah Winfey that she still loves Chris Brown. Idiot! Now it's MY turn to slap her."

Average listal rating (222 ratings) 7.1  
20. Spike Lee
about Quentin Tarantino

“I’m not against the word, and I use it, but not excessively. And some people speak that way. But, Quentin is infatuated with that word. What does he want to be made — an honorary black man?”

about Tyler Perry

“We got a black president, and we going back to Mantan Moreland and Sleep ‘n’ Eat?”

Average listal rating (39 ratings) 5.6  
21. Tyler Perry
about Spike Lee

“Spike can go straight to hell! You can print that… Spike needs to shut the hell up!”

Average listal rating (487 ratings) 6.3  
22. Charlie Sheen
about Colin Farrell

"I've got three words for him: Am. A. Teur."

about Chuck Lorre, producer of the show, Two and A Half Men

"He's a stupid, stupid little man, and a pussy punk that I 'd never want to be. That's me being polite."

Average listal rating (186 ratings) 8.7  
23. Werner Herzog
about Jean-Luc Godard

“Someone like Jean-Luc Godard is for me intellectual counterfeit money when compared to a good kung-fu film.”

about Abel Ferrara

“I have no idea who Abel Ferrara is. But let him fight the windmills… I’ve never seen a film by him. I have no idea who he is. Is he Italian? Is he French? Who is he?”

Average listal rating (19 ratings) 6.6  
24. Paul Weller
about Sting and Bono

"I don't like them because their music is rubbish. I don't like how conceited they are and how seriously they take themselves."

Average listal rating (9 ratings) 8.4  
25. Cornel Wilde
about Richard Gere

"He doesn’t smile, he leers. Not exactly an intellectual, either. for a while, that dropping his pants bit was an effective gimmick for the screen, but any way you measure it, his talent doesn’t add up."

Average listal rating (96 ratings) 6.8  
26. Joni Mitchell
about Bob Dylan

"Bob is not authentic at all. He's a plagiarist, and his name and voice are fake."

Average listal rating (11 ratings) 8.9  
27. Dorothy Parker
hearing of Calvin Coolidge's death.

"How can they tell?"

about Katherine Hepburn

"She ran the whole gamut of emotions from A to B."

about Dame Edith Evans

"She looks like something that would eat its young."

Average listal rating (336 ratings) 7.3  
28. Tina Fey
about Monica Lewinsky

"Monica Lewinsky has agreed to host a new Fox reality show called Mr. Personality. Lewinsky says this way, when people ask her the most degrading thing she's ever done, she'll have a new answer."

Average listal rating (309 ratings) 8.7  
29. Orson Welles
about Jean-Luc Godard

“His gifts as a director are enormous. I just can’t take him very seriously as a thinker — and that’s where we seem to differ, because he does. His message is what he cares about these days, and, like most movie messages, it could be written on the head of a pin.”

Average listal rating (120 ratings) 8.3  
30. Burt Lancaster
about Sylvester Stallone's height

"Sly Stallone is 5’7, I believe. Shorter than you’d think, not just short on talent. Anyway, he only hires actors his height or shorter, unless they’re to play some kind of freakish villain."

Average listal rating (11 ratings) 6.1  
31. Charles Barkley
about Dennis Rodman

"Dennis has become like a prostitute, but now it's gotten ridiculous, to the point where he will do anything humanly possible to make money."

Average listal rating (64 ratings) 5.4  
32. Gene Simmons
about Carlos Santana

"I'm sick and tired of these bands like Carlos Santana looking at his shoes and thinking that's a rock concert."

Average listal rating (48 ratings) 8.1  
33. Carlos Santana
about Gene Simmons

"He's not a musician, he's an entertainer. Kiss is Las Vegas entertainment, so he wouldn't know what music is anyway."

Average listal rating (8 ratings) 7.5  
34. Bob Costas
about Dennis Rodman

"He has so many fish hooks in his nose, he looks like a piece of bait."

Average listal rating (883 ratings) 7.6  
35. David Bowie
about Mick Jagger

"I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized to how many people he is not a sex symbol but a mother image."
Jamie M.'s rating:

Average listal rating (372 ratings) 8.1  
36. David Cronenberg
about M. Night Shyamalan

“I HATE that guy! Next question.”

Average listal rating (261 ratings) 6.5  
37. Prince
about Michael Jackson

"Michael Jackson's album was only called "Bad" because there wasn't enough room on the sleeve for "Pathetic."

Average listal rating (267 ratings) 8.2  
38. Bette Davis
about Marilyn Monroe

"She’s the original good time had by all."

about Joan Crawford

"Joan always cries a lot. Her tear ducts must be close to her bladder."

Average listal rating (111 ratings) 7  
39. Conan O'Brien
about Tommy Lee

"Pamela Lee said her name is tattooed on her husband's penis. Which explains why she changed her name from Anderson to Lee."
Jamie M.'s rating:

Average listal rating (317 ratings) 7.8  
40. Paul McCartney
about John Lennon

"He could be a maneuvering swine, which no one ever realized."

Average listal rating (248 ratings) 8.3  
41. Jean-Luc Godard
about Quentin Tarantino

“Tarantino named his production company after one of my films. He’d have done better to give me some money.”

about Steven Spielberg

“I don’t know him personally. I don’t think his films are very good.”

Average listal rating (70 ratings) 7.1  
42. Vincent Gallo
about Spike Jonze

“He’s the biggest fraud out there. If you bring him to a party he’s the least interesting person at the party, he’s the person who doesn’t know anything. He’s the person who doesn’t say anything funny, interesting, intelligent… He’s a pig piece of shit.”

about Martin Scorsese

“I wouldn’t work for Martin Scorsese for $10 million. He hasn’t made a good film in 25 years. I would never work with an egomaniac has-been.”

about Roger Ebert

"The only thing I'm sorry for is putting a curse of Roger Ebert's colon."

Average listal rating (19 ratings) 5.6  
43. Ethel Merman
about Cole Porter

"He sang like a hinge."

Average listal rating (314 ratings) 8.5  
44. Katharine Hepburn
about Sharon Stone

"It's a new low for actresses when you have to wonder what's between her ears instead of her legs. "

Average listal rating (86 ratings) 8.7  
45. Virginia Woolf
about Henry James

"I am reading Henry James...and feel myself as one entombed in a block of smooth amber."

Average listal rating (83 ratings) 8.4  
46. F. Scott Fitzgerald
about Ernest Hemingway

"Always willing to lend a helping hand to the one above him."

Average listal rating (246 ratings) 8.6  
47. Oscar Wilde
about Alexander Pope

"There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope."

Average listal rating (14 ratings) 9  
48. John Lydon
about Bruce Springsteen

"He plays four-and-a-half-hour sets. That's torture. Does he hate his audience?"

Average listal rating (321 ratings) 7.1  
49. Martin Sheen
about George W. Bush

"George W. Bush is like a bad comic working the crowd. A moron, if you'll pardon the expression."

Average listal rating (6 ratings) 4.5  
50. Pat Buchanan
about Bill Clinton

"Bill Clinton's foreign policy experience is pretty much confined to having had breakfast once at the International House of Pancakes."



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Comments

Posted: 1 year ago at Jun 11 0:14
That was something.
Posted: 1 year ago at Jun 11 19:41
Wow! Great finds! It's especially to read the ones from the stars of yesteryear.
Posted: 1 year ago at Jun 11 21:09
Thanks!
Posted: 11 months, 1 week ago at Jul 11 10:54
'Hollywood is seldom what it seems.'

A touch of irony from Mr Hudson, there.
Posted: 11 months, 1 week ago at Jul 11 10:54
*sorry, double post*
Posted: 11 months, 1 week ago at Jul 11 17:12
That's ok.
Posted: 9 months ago at Sep 14 18:13
This list is awesome!! Had a good laugh at some of them!
Posted: 8 months ago at Oct 19 19:06
Here are some suggestions you might like:
Nicki Minaj about Lil kim
Lil kim about Nicki minaj
Rihanna about Ciara.
Charlie sheen about denise richards
John hamm about Kim K
Whitney Houston about wendy Williams
Cher about Madonna
2pac about biggie smalls
Amy winehouse about kanye west
Michael Jackson about Madonna
Mary J. Blige about Christina Aguilera
Amy winehouse about billie holiday
Posted: 8 months ago at Oct 20 15:00
Consider, most of it done!
Posted: 7 months, 3 weeks ago at Oct 28 9:56
so much hate..
Posted: 7 months, 1 week ago at Nov 9 22:36
Cool list, thanks for the hard work.
Posted: 7 months, 1 week ago at Nov 9 23:24
Eminem and ICP
Posted: 7 months, 1 week ago at Nov 10 16:12
Thanks for the comments, everyone!
Posted: 6 months, 3 weeks ago at Nov 28 17:28
Just when you thought Joan Crawford couldn't be any more of a bitch (yes, I'm referencing the infamous Mommie Dearest). However, Mark Hamill's comment about Romney is hilarious.
Posted: 6 months, 2 weeks ago at Nov 29 18:33
Wow great list,
I think theres something Samuel L Jackson said about the douche Spike Lee.
Posted: 5 months, 2 weeks ago at Jan 2 11:03
oh the hate !!!!goes to show everybody got something nasty to say about somebody
Posted: 5 months, 2 weeks ago at Jan 2 18:45
After Dustin Hoffman stayed up for two days straight while using his method acting "technique", he came in to work on Marathon Man with Lawrence Olivier who told him..

"Try acting... Its much easier!"
Posted: 5 months, 2 weeks ago at Jan 2 18:50
Love the hitemup lyrics ....oh and I haaate madonna and dont get me started on rianna chris should have finished the job if you ask me
Posted: 5 months, 2 weeks ago at Jan 2 20:56
Interesting list, but some of them are not real "insults", just ironic remarks :)
Posted: 4 months, 3 weeks ago at Jan 21 17:56
Etta James on Beyonce
"I cant stand Beyonce"
Posted: 2 months, 2 weeks ago at Mar 31 8:56
Awesome :))
Posted: 2 months, 2 weeks ago at Mar 31 12:14
Great list
Posted: 2 months, 1 week ago at Apr 8 7:47
The one by Roger Moore about Sean Connery was great!

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