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Celebrity Insults
 7.4 about Sarah Palin
"It's like a really bad Disney movie. The hockey mom, you know, 'oh, I'm just a hockey mom'... and she's facing down President Putin... It's totally absurd... it's a really terrifying possibility... I need to know if she really thinks that dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago. I want to know that, I really do. Because she's gonna have the nuclear codes." 
7.6 about Sarah Palin
"She said that small towns, that's the part of the country she really likes going to because that's the pro-America part of the country. You know, I just want to say to her, just very quickly: Fuck you." "When you think about it, Alaska is also near the North Pole, so she must also be friends with Santa." Jamie M.'s rating:
 
6.7 about Justin Bieber being constantly late for concerts, on his latest tour.
"Do it once, you can be forgiven. Do it enough times and shame on you. They won’t have you back. Then it just becomes a cliché. It's really not cool you’re an asshole. Go to fuckin’ work!" 
8.5 about Barack Obama
“How do you handle promises that you have made when you were running for election, and how do you handle them? I mean, what do you say to people? When somebody doesn’t do the job, you gotta let ’em go,” 
8.5 to Winston Churchill
"Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend - if you have one." 
8 Churchill's reply
"Impossible to be present for the first performance. Will attend second - if there is one." 
2.6 to Larry King
"Do you mind if I sit back a little? Because your breath is very bad." about Rosie O'Donnell "Well, I always knew that Oprah was smart. Frankly, that was just going to happen. I knew it immediately as soon as they announced it. Rosie fails at everything. She had a variety show that failed.... Somebody else, some moron, will come and hire her again to do something else, and that will fail. At some point, let her rest. Let her go away." "Rosie O'Donnell has failed again. Her ratings were abysmal and Oprah cancelled her on Friday night. When will media executives learn that Rosie just hasn't got it." 
7.3 to a line judge
"You can't see as well as these fucking flowers - and they're fucking plastic." 
6.8 about Helen Reddy
"She aught to be arrested for loitering in front of an orchestra." 
7.7 to Robert Mitchum
"You're like a pay toilet, aren't you? You don't give a shit for nothing." 
8.1 to Joe Frazier
"Joe Frazier is so ugly he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wildlife." 
7.5 about Warren Beatty
"He's the type of man who will end up dying in his own arms." 
8.7 about Montgomery Clift
"He acts like he's got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn't want anyone to know it." to Val Kilmer "You're confusing your talents with the size of your paycheck". 
8.1 about Chevy Chase
"He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner." about Roseanne Barr "The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered." 
7.3 about The Beatles
"The Beatles were peripheral. If you had more knowledge about music, it didn't really mean anything." 
8 about Judy Garland
"I didn't know her well, but after watching her in action I didn't want to know her well." 
8.5 about T.S. Eliot
"T. S. Eliot and I like to play, but I like to play euchre, while he likes to play Eucharist." 
4.1 about Bo Derek
"She turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines." about Rihanna "Rihanna confessed to Oprah Winfey that she still loves Chris Brown. Idiot! Now it's MY turn to slap her." 
7.1 about Quentin Tarantino
“I’m not against the word, and I use it, but not excessively. And some people speak that way. But, Quentin is infatuated with that word. What does he want to be made — an honorary black man?” about Tyler Perry “We got a black president, and we going back to Mantan Moreland and Sleep ‘n’ Eat?” 
5.6 about Spike Lee
“Spike can go straight to hell! You can print that… Spike needs to shut the hell up!” 
6.3 about Colin Farrell
"I've got three words for him: Am. A. Teur." about Chuck Lorre, producer of the show, Two and A Half Men "He's a stupid, stupid little man, and a pussy punk that I 'd never want to be. That's me being polite." 
8.7 about Jean-Luc Godard
“Someone like Jean-Luc Godard is for me intellectual counterfeit money when compared to a good kung-fu film.” about Abel Ferrara “I have no idea who Abel Ferrara is. But let him fight the windmills… I’ve never seen a film by him. I have no idea who he is. Is he Italian? Is he French? Who is he?” 
6.6 about Sting and Bono
"I don't like them because their music is rubbish. I don't like how conceited they are and how seriously they take themselves." 
8.4 about Richard Gere
"He doesn’t smile, he leers. Not exactly an intellectual, either. for a while, that dropping his pants bit was an effective gimmick for the screen, but any way you measure it, his talent doesn’t add up." 
6.8 about Bob Dylan
"Bob is not authentic at all. He's a plagiarist, and his name and voice are fake." 
8.9 hearing of Calvin Coolidge's death.
"How can they tell?" about Katherine Hepburn "She ran the whole gamut of emotions from A to B." about Dame Edith Evans "She looks like something that would eat its young." 
7.3 about Monica Lewinsky
"Monica Lewinsky has agreed to host a new Fox reality show called Mr. Personality. Lewinsky says this way, when people ask her the most degrading thing she's ever done, she'll have a new answer." 
8.7 about Jean-Luc Godard
“His gifts as a director are enormous. I just can’t take him very seriously as a thinker — and that’s where we seem to differ, because he does. His message is what he cares about these days, and, like most movie messages, it could be written on the head of a pin.” 
8.3 about Sylvester Stallone's height
"Sly Stallone is 5’7, I believe. Shorter than you’d think, not just short on talent. Anyway, he only hires actors his height or shorter, unless they’re to play some kind of freakish villain." 
6.1 about Dennis Rodman
"Dennis has become like a prostitute, but now it's gotten ridiculous, to the point where he will do anything humanly possible to make money." 
5.4 about Carlos Santana
"I'm sick and tired of these bands like Carlos Santana looking at his shoes and thinking that's a rock concert." 
8.1 about Gene Simmons
"He's not a musician, he's an entertainer. Kiss is Las Vegas entertainment, so he wouldn't know what music is anyway." 
7.5 about Dennis Rodman
"He has so many fish hooks in his nose, he looks like a piece of bait." 
7.6 about Mick Jagger
"I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized to how many people he is not a sex symbol but a mother image." Jamie M.'s rating:
 
6.5 about Michael Jackson
"Michael Jackson's album was only called "Bad" because there wasn't enough room on the sleeve for "Pathetic." 
8.2 about Marilyn Monroe
"She’s the original good time had by all." about Joan Crawford "Joan always cries a lot. Her tear ducts must be close to her bladder." 
7 about Tommy Lee
"Pamela Lee said her name is tattooed on her husband's penis. Which explains why she changed her name from Anderson to Lee." Jamie M.'s rating:
7.8 about John Lennon
"He could be a maneuvering swine, which no one ever realized." 
8.3 about Quentin Tarantino
“Tarantino named his production company after one of my films. He’d have done better to give me some money.” about Steven Spielberg “I don’t know him personally. I don’t think his films are very good.” 
7.1 about Spike Jonze
“He’s the biggest fraud out there. If you bring him to a party he’s the least interesting person at the party, he’s the person who doesn’t know anything. He’s the person who doesn’t say anything funny, interesting, intelligent… He’s a pig piece of shit.” about Martin Scorsese “I wouldn’t work for Martin Scorsese for $10 million. He hasn’t made a good film in 25 years. I would never work with an egomaniac has-been.” about Roger Ebert "The only thing I'm sorry for is putting a curse of Roger Ebert's colon." 
8.5 about Sharon Stone
"It's a new low for actresses when you have to wonder what's between her ears instead of her legs. " 
8.7 about Henry James
"I am reading Henry James...and feel myself as one entombed in a block of smooth amber." 
8.4 about Ernest Hemingway
"Always willing to lend a helping hand to the one above him." 
8.6 about Alexander Pope
"There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope." 
9 about Bruce Springsteen
"He plays four-and-a-half-hour sets. That's torture. Does he hate his audience?" 
7.1 about George W. Bush
"George W. Bush is like a bad comic working the crowd. A moron, if you'll pardon the expression." 
4.5 about Bill Clinton
"Bill Clinton's foreign policy experience is pretty much confined to having had breakfast once at the International House of Pancakes." |
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A touch of irony from Mr Hudson, there.
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I think theres something Samuel L Jackson said about the douche Spike Lee.
"Try acting... Its much easier!"
"I cant stand Beyonce"