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Added by Onion Jack on 12 Sep 2013 01:33
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British Grub

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Great British grub, and not the sort that chefs talk garbage about on an almost daily basis.

This is a work in progress, I'll add more as I think of it.

I'm not much for these kind of lists, but I thought I would at least do a food one. I'm fat and I like rubbish food.
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American? Not on your chuffin' nelly! Back away from the pie you pumpkin-munching pie stealers!
Applewood is an artificially smoked Cheddar, coated with paprika. I first came across it in one of those ridiculously priced festive cheese selection boxes. I liked it so much that I'm telling you about it. Consider yourself told.
What could be better than a stack of pig shavings in a bready blanket? Not strictly British, but who else calls it a butty?
Some say it's from Pakistan, some are wrong. This one's from Blighty... so there!
Sausages became known as 'bangers' because some sausages used to have a high water content, that would make them explode.

Add some onion gravy, perhaps with Marmite and mustard... Bob's your uncle, Fanny's your aunt, whoever the chuffery they are!
A Welsh fruitcake with fruit that is soaked in tea. I hate tea ( how very English of me!) but I really enjoyed this cake during my time in North Wales.
It's a bread roll... with a northern accent.
I've never had the sweet Bedfordshire Clanger, but a savoury alternative is the Buckinghamshire Bacon Clanger. Bacon, spuds and onion wrapped in pastry, throw on a balsamic reduction (getting a bit chefy now!) and there be deliciousness on a plate.
Dumplings, real dumplings, British dumplings... stodgy perfection. I always eat them last, I have no interesting reason for this, and I'm not sure why I'm telling you, but I've told you. You are now wiser.
Now I loves a sausage just as much as the next man, but this one just ain't for me. Oatmeal and pigs blood just doesn't get me going, I'll leave this one to the braver souls.

Lorne sausage can also be seen in the picture. This is a Scottish square skinless sausage (oooh, that was rather clever!) made in moulds. It's rather tasty, like most sausage is, except this pudding stuff... yuk!
We know luxury we do, and what could be more luxurious than stale bread? Add milk, egg, nutmeg and vanilla and you have food fit for fifteen Kings!
I went as far as adding this to Listal, but it never made it as far as this list. I'm not too sure why, but there you go, and here you are. This is the only time when vegetables from a roast dinner are acceptable, and it's only because they've been through the best cooking process ever invented by a man with a pan... frying! Yes, these are leftovers, usually eaten the following day, refried... how splendid! Thanks to cfcblue for reminding me about this one.
Designed as a way to provide a meal for miners. Early versions had savoury in one half and dessert in the other. I'm not sure I'd be much into that, but if beef, onion, potato, swede and pepper on offer... I'll take twelve for lunch, any seconds?
Sausages are good, but curly sausages are better. These are just delicious, and you can laugh at eating something porky that resembles a piggy tail... how very evil!
They're a healthy lot north of the border. They don't do lettuce or cucumber or any of that fattening salady pap, oh no... they prefer to watch their figure by dipping chocolate bars in batter before chucking them in the fryer. Now as much as I like brown food, this one just isn't for me.

Also available in different chocolate bar varieties, I recommend none of them.
Not British, but has become part of a typical British night on the pop... it really is the only time that you can appreciate a doner kebab at its... um... best!
Dripping or 'mucky fat' is just leftover fat from the animal when everything else has been used. Older folk often tell tales about how they had it in sandwiches as kids. It's fallen out of favour in recent years due to the noise made by those who want to tell everyone else how to eat. Go chew on some celery you food-ruining parsnips!
I'm not much for sweet stuff these days, but there was a time that giving me an Eccles cake was a sure way to win me over. It's just currants wrapped in flaky pastry, but I used to think of them as a little slice of perfection.
I've not had faggots for years, but I remember enjoying them some years back. Faggots and peas... fart fuel!
I'm not big on fish, but how could I make a list about British grub and not mention the Nation's Favourite. I tend to choose sausage and chips or pie and chips. Them with power ruined out national dish by outlawing the use of newspaper, something to do with printing ink. There was something special about the smell of vinegar soaked newspaper, especially if you were lucky enough to get an interesting page. Anyway, there it is... fish & chips. Best enjoyed at the seaside... sat in a car... in the pouring rain... on a Saturday.
I don't do breakfast anymore, but there was a time when a Full English was the best way to start the day. Sod cornflakes, you need a plate of bacon, sausages, fried eggs, fried tomatoes, fried mushrooms (not for me thank you), baked beans and fried bread. It just make the morning coffee taste proper!

There are other variations of this breakfasty banquet, but they are all wrong... so I won't tell you about those.
Stale bread, pork, sage, salt and pepper... in a slice perfect for a sarnie. What's a sarnie? You silly person!
These were discontinued years ago, but they caused much speculation at the time. Apparently they were actually flavoured with pork fat.
Anyone in the know knows that that there is only one brand of British pie, and it's from Baxenden, in the glorious county of Lancashire. Holland's pies don't do fancy... they don't have any of that silly puff pastry. They opt instead to use the pastry as a delivery vehicle for the filling. Proper pies!
Proof that there is more to English cheese than Cheddar and Stilton. Apparently there are three types of Lancashire cheese, but I always think of it as crumbly and quite strong in flavour. The more distinct flavour makes it a little Marmite, you either love it or hate it. My wife hates it, but she smells so doesn't count.
Lamb, carrot, turnip, potatoes and onions cooked in a way that only a Lancastrian would. A lovely winter meal, unless you go traditional and include kidneys, but that would make you a nutter... are you a nutter?
The superior relation to that imposter from Down Under. Love it or hate it, everybody loves it... you know it makes sense. Best spread on toast before adding the cheese.
Peas prepared for maximum fart factor. Enjoy them when you eat them and then enjoy them again as you gas out those near you.
Pea porridge, eaten with bacon or ham... or on a stottie cake, which is like a flat barmcake, but with a Geordie accent.
I've included this as more of a what-not-to-do-with-a-pie. People from down there (somewhere near London) like to take something as glorious as a pie and then pour snot on it. They call this particular snot 'liquor', and they pretend that it's gravy. It is made from the water left over from stewing eels, I mean how bizarre is that? They add parsley to make it look oh so delicious. Someone needs to introduce these people to Bisto!
Piggy sausages wrapped in piggy shavings, whoever came up with these needs to be knighted. Pig perfection is for life, not just for Christmas.
Bits of pig in a pie, bathed in pig juice. Sounds delicious doesn't it? Well it is, have two!
These are a real treasure of the British chippy. Thick slices of spud dipped in batter and fried. Healthy they are not, but who cares when food tastes this good! Death by deliciousness!
I have a distant memory of these, and enjoying them, which is odd because I'm not one for seafood. The best ones come from Morecambe Bay... apparently.
Sausage and egg in breadcrumbs... almost as good as a sausage and fried egg butty.

A quick mention must be made of another version of this, even if it's not British. The nargis kebab comes from India, and includes spices in the meat... tasty!
Don't worry, it's got nothing to do with that haggis muck, they don't even wear kilts or play noise with pipey-bags. They are usually filled with spiced mutton, but quite often it's more a game of guess the meat, oh well... rabbit, sheep or rat... they don't taste half-bad!
Seabrook Crisps, made in the North. They knock the socks off their rivals, and any other loose garments too. I remember them from school, before the arrival of foil packets. You could see the crisps in the packet, proper job!
I'm not really mad on puds, or custard for that matter. This one is here merely because of its fabulous name and because of cfcblue who mentioned it in the comments. A classic it is, not a classic for me, but a classic for you, and him, and them over there. I see pudding people!
Fish... yuk! In a pie... better! Would I eat it? No. So pilchards in a pie, fish eye pie? You can have this one.
Pie... meat... ale... need I say more?
Now these are an odd one for me. I love puddings but I hate kidney, so I guess I'm all for steak puddings. Kidney isn't food, it's not even waste... it's just wrong! Anyway these are like pies, but they are steamed instead of baked.
It's sticky, it's puddingy and it's toffee-y... it's sticky toffee pudding... it's a date!
I'm not that much for a Sunday lunch, I mean there's veg in the way... there at the edge of the plate like some putrid security guards. You have to take them down before enjoying the joyous brown food on offer. Which warped mutant came up with such evilness?

Oh, and stay away from chicken, it tastes of nowt much and isn't even brown!
I hadn't heard of this, but a whole lemon encased in steamed suet? Sounds just the kind of brown food for me.

dimplesofvenus... I bow to your puddingness!
Fatty sausages in a crispy fatty jacket of loveliness, how could this ever not be delicious? It just needs some Marmitey mustard onion gravy!
Posh cheese-on-toast, usually with ale and mustard in the cheese mixture, but there are many variations. Alternatively you could just have cheese on toast smothered in Worcestershire Sauce... that works too.
Great in gravy, great on scrambled egg, great on cheese-on-toast... just don't read the ingredients, there is weirdness within.
Some people have them with jam, some with beef, and some put sausages in them. They can even be used as a dish for a saucy meaty deliciousness. They really are a versatile little fatty delight. Where else can you find milk, water, flour and eggs combining to make such a perfect pudding?

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Posted: 4 years, 4 months ago at Sep 19 13:46
Damn, the list is making me drool. How can you go wrong with anything pork, ya can't (that would be the Italian blood taking control of the brain). I had "Bangers and Eggs" for the first time a few years ago at a breakfast place that specializes in English fare, love at first bite.

And what's wrong with pumpkin pie?
Posted: 4 years, 4 months ago at Sep 19 13:49
Never had it, never going to have it... pumpkins are only good for one thing... and it ain't even Halloween... compost... yes... let them rot! Vegetable squashy devilry!
Posted: 4 years, 4 months ago at Sep 20 3:27
Whenever I go back for a vacation, the first meal is fish and chips from the chippy across the street. The next morning is a full English breakfast at the pub around the corner. Bubble and squeak, and spotted dick are two other classics.
Posted: 4 years, 4 months ago at Sep 20 17:10
Very good point about the Earl of Sandwich... therefore the bacon butty is ours... case closed!
Posted: 4 years, 4 months ago at Sep 21 3:41
Why have I never tried Pigs in a blanket???!!! Why??

Posted: 4 years, 4 months ago at Sep 21 17:54
Interesting to know what British people eat. I heard there is another Pakistani dish that many Brits like to eat, I don't remember its name, of course there is some curry included.

Apple pies are of no special origin I think, there are so many different kinds of apple pies in every country. :-)
Posted: 4 years, 4 months ago at Sep 21 18:02
We eat a lot of things from that part of the world. I guess some of it comes from the days of the spice trade, and some from the Asian population that now lives here.

Going further east, Thai green curry has become very popular here in recent years. Give me something from a piggy any day over that lot though.
Posted: 4 years, 3 months ago at Sep 30 1:12
Have you ever heard of the legendary Sussex Pond Pudding? It seems to be the darling of all pudding connoisseurs from what I understand. I've not sampled it myself, but it's going to take something very special to dethrone my current favourite pud which is the Sticky Toffee Pudding. But being a fan of butter, I can really see myself lapping it up like a starving mongrel nonetheless; and you know what they say, butter goes well with everything.
Posted: 4 years, 3 months ago at Oct 5 6:57
Fish'n'Chips with traditional vinegar.
In Full English Breakfast I like the baked beans but later...
Posted: 4 years, 3 months ago at Oct 5 8:30
Aye, beans are a fair inclusion, though not for me personally... fart pellets!

As for the Sussex Pond pudding, nope... never come across it.
Posted: 4 years, 3 months ago at Oct 6 1:35
I've had some of these, but I see a lot I want to try! Soooo yummy!
Posted: 4 years, 3 months ago at Oct 6 17:59
peas pudding on stottie cake yum
Posted: 4 years, 1 month ago at Dec 4 11:26
I remember hedgehog crisps - I thought I was the only person who liked them. Great list. :)
Posted: 3 years, 6 months ago at Jun 30 8:03
Brilliant list, God I would love a proper Cornish Pasty right now,
Posted: 3 years, 5 months ago at Aug 10 14:32
Well, I'm allergic to shrimp and not really keen on most fish and seafood, but in my 4 visits across the pond, I think I've eaten most of the pies, stews and dinners on this list! Damn, I have to find a good British foods shop near me house!
Posted: 3 years, 5 months ago at Aug 11 18:11
If I remember correctly, chicken tikka masala is a British dish.
Posted: 3 years, 5 months ago at Aug 11 18:22
The origin is disputed. Wiki says 'Place of origin Uncertain; United Kingdom, India or Pakistan', I'd agree with you though, Glasgow looks like the safest bet.
Posted: 3 years, 2 months ago at Nov 10 9:02
Great! Hourray for marmite; I'm going through a crumpets with marmite phase, and was thinking of having it in a list. I don't like tea either. Very glad to find Bara Brith here. How about Laverbread? Swansea market is the place for that!

Many of these dishes are yummy; lots of tasty gooey puds and pies. The French have taken up crumble, but ruined it- arranged as neat little tarts without the bubbling juiciness. They make fancy pastries but really their food generally is overrated. But they eat less junk food than the British; we followed the American way with that, so much food to hand everywhere. The French prefer proper meals, lunch and dinner, rather than grazing.

I don't fancy deep fried Mars Bar! I don't like Stilton but maybe that deserves a spot?

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