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British Comedy: Two of a Kind

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People who added this item 2 Average listal rating (2 ratings) 6 IMDB Rating 7.8
Two of a Kind (1961)
Years: 1961-1968
Broadcaster: ITV
Genre: Sketch
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
Stars: Eric Morecambe, Ernie Wise
Episodes: 50*
Episode Average: 6.380
BEST EPISODES:
Series 2, Episode 8 (1962), Series 4, Episode 7 (1964)
*surviving episodes
Holy Godiva's rating:
Rate:
Watched Wanted Custom
The first series was titled Bernard Delfont Presents Morecambe & Wise.
All nine episodes are lost.
Series two was the first to be titled Two of a Kind.

SERIES TWO

(1962)
13 episodes
Series Score: 95
Episode Average: 7.31
Perfect 10's: 2
S2E1

EPISODE 1

Originally broadcast: 30 June 1962
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Pen and Paper --- Introduction: Alcoholics Anonymous --- Boxing Match
The Cossacks --- Robbie Hall & Jimmy MacGregor --- Through the Door
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Terry Lightfoot and His New Orleans Jazzmen: A Tavern in the Town
The Kaye Sisters: The Down and Out Blues

"Hey, this is my corner!"
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E2

EPISODE 2

Originally broadcast: 7 July 1962
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
The Flintrocks --- Introduction: Bag and Ball --- Football Match
Flying with Eric --- Alice in Wonderland: Through the Door
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Kenny Ball's Jazzmen: I'm Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter
The Beverley Sisters: It's Illegal, It's Immoral, Or It Makes You Fat

"Oh, well, you can never tell what branch they're in nowadays. It's the nylon stockings that do it, ya know. In the old days, you could tell by the stockings. Do you remembers those stockings? The black ones, the blue ones, those horrible khaki ones. Do you remember those horrible khaki ones? I was glad when they came to an end."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E3

EPISODE 3

Originally broadcast: 14 July 1962
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Dr. Ben Kildare --- Introduction: The Tape Recorder Bore --- Granada
Snooker Match --- Eric's Acting Bit: Al Jolson --- Through the Door
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Alex Welsh and His Band: When You're Smiling
The Beverley Sisters: English Muffins and Irish Stew

"Yes, he's our poodle... A big dog... Big shaggy thing he's got, and those yellow eyes, and... those white things there. We have trouble when we take him to be clipped... He doesn't like having his mane shaved off."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E4

EPISODE 4

Originally broadcast: 21 July 1962
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Supercar --- Introduction: Dictionary --- Chinese Restaurant
Julius Caesar: Cassius & Brutus --- Eric's Acting Bit: G.H. Elliott
Through the Door
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Mr. Acker Bilk's Paramount Jazz Band: If You Were the Only Girl in the World
The Beverley Sisters: The Baghdad Tale

"Go on, have a couple. Give him a couple of chopsticks. Put plenty of gravy on 'em for him, will ya."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E5

EPISODE 5

Originally broadcast: 28 July 1962
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Pick You Luck --- Introduction: Double-Headed Penny --- Snap!
Zoo Quest --- Eric's Acting Bit: The Black and White Minstrel Show
Through the Door
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The Mike Cotton Jazzmen
Susan Maughan: So In Love

"Well, that one walks towards you... Yes, and when you're chasing it, it's very easy to catch because it runs backwards. Ha! Ha! Ha! It runs backwards. If I'd have said it right, you'd have got a much bigger laugh."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E6

EPISODE 6

Originally broadcast: 4 August 1962
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Dick of Doxon Green --- Introduction: Magic Act --- Turn the Music Over
Four Girls --- Eric's Acting Bit: An Illusion --- Through the Door
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Chris Barber's Jazzmen (with Ottilie Patterson): T'ain't What You Do...
The Beverley Sisters: Left Right Out Of Your Heart

"Who'll go out with a girl like me?"
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E7

EPISODE 7

Originally broadcast: 11 August 1962
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Candid Snaps --- Introduction: The Twist --- The Scottish Soldier
The Death of Cleopatra --- Eric's Acting Bit: Escapology
Through the Door
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The Clyde Valley Stompers: Peter and the Wolf
The Beverley Sisters: Let a Smile Be Your Umbrella

"You'll recognise me as soon as I come on 'cause I'm very beautiful. I've got a beautiful wig and I'm built up beautifully, and as I come on, you'll nudge each other and say, 'There's four-eyes.'"
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E8

EPISODE 8

Originally broadcast: 18 Aigust 1962
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
76 Sunset Strip --- Introduction: The Life and Soul of the Party
Boom Oo Yata-Ta-Ta --- The Sheik --- Eric's Acting Bit: Mutiny on the Bounty
Through the Door
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Eric Delaney and His Band
Teddy Johnson and Pearl Carr: 'S Wonderful (Medley)

"No, no, it's 'Cough! Cough!'. 'Cos I write me Fs funny, y'know."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E9

EPISODE 9

Originally broadcast: 25 August 1962
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Naked Village --- Introduction: Hit the Hand --- Telstar Link
People Who Wear Glasses --- Eric's Acting Bit: Abraham Lincoln
Through the Door
MUSICAL GUESTS:
George Chisholm's Jazzers
Teddy Johnson and Pearl Carr: Let There Be Love (Medley)

"The opposite sex don't like specs either."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E10

EPISODE 10

Originally broadcast: 1 September 1962
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Mystery Tales --- Introduction: Eric's Glasses --- Pas de Deux
Carlotta --- Eric's Acting Bit: The Assassination of Abraham Lincoln
Through the Door
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Humphrey Lyttelton and His Band
Lita Roza: I Remember You

"You've shot me beard off! Look!"
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E11

EPISODE 11

Originally broadcast: 8 September 1962
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Y Cars --- Introduction: Only Four in the World
Can I Be In Your Gang? --- Party Games
Eric's Acting Bit: Nina & Frederik --- Through the Door
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Alex Welsh and His Band: Bye Bye Blackbird
Janie Marden: That Old Black Magic

"I'm not afraid of you, or your rubber knife."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E12

EPISODE 12

Originally broadcast: 15 September 1962
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Face Two Face --- Introduction: Pipe --- New Talent
The Other Man --- Hollywood Melodies --- Through the Door
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The Mike Cotton Jazzmen
Teddy Johnson & Pearl Carr: Be Mine

"Yvette, why are you wearing you fur coat? It is midsummer, you must be boiling. Allow me to take it off. And then we can all have a look."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E13

EPISODE 13

Originally broadcast: 22 September 1962
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Juke Box Judges --- Introduction: Eric's Acting Bits
The Edmundo O'Reilly Trio --- Courtroom Scene
Two of a Kind --- Through the Door
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Jack Parnell and His Debonaires
Teddy Johnson and Pearl Carr: Johnny One Note

"You look like a cocker spaniel, are you alright?"
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6
Rate:
Owned Wanted Custom

SERIES THREE

(1963)
13 episodes
Series Score: 80
Episode Average: 6.15
Perfect 10's: 0
S3E1

EPISODE 1

Originally broadcast: 15 June 1963
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Short Fat Hairy Legs and Knobbly Knees
Xylophone Duet --- Washing Machine Demonstrators
Eric's Acting Bit: Samson and Delilah (Strong) --- Big Finale
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The Michael Sammes Singers: Put On a Happy Face
Joe Brown & His Bruvvers: It Only Took a Minute

"Ah, now that is where the difficulty came... You see, what I sat down to play, I couldn't get a note. You see, to me, it's like playing with the lid down."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E2

EPISODE 2

Originally broadcast: 22 June 1963
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Be Gone Foul Weed! --- Puppet Theatre
Peter and the Wolf --- Eric's Acting Bit: Samson & Delilah (Weak)
Dressing Room
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The Michael Sammes Singers: There Will Never Be Another You
Mr. Acker Bilk's Paramount Jazz Band:

"Take no notice of his Dangle, come and have a look at my Dingle over here."
HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E3

EPISODE 3

Originally broadcast: 29 June 1963
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: The Tall Dummy --- Helped By Ernie
Ruthless --- Radio Mike
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The King Brothers: This Could Be the Start of Something Big
Barbara Law: Get Happy

"No, I made him, he's English. He takes nationality of his father, ya see. His mother was a Pole."
HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E4

EPISODE 4

Originally broadcast: 6 July 1963
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Holiday Snaps --- Whitlow 1-2-3-4
Hamlet: Prince of Denmark --- Eric's Acting Bit: The Dance of the Six Veils
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The Michael Sammes Singers: Let's Get Away From It All
Sheila Buxton: I Cried For You

"Ernie's playing the part of Hamlet. Big fat hairy Hamlet, he is. Short legs."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E5

EPISODE 5

Originally broadcast: 13 July 1963
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Fat Woman --- The Battle of Waterloo
Come Dancing --- Eric's Acting Bit: The Flying Doctor
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The King Brothers: Hey, Look Me Over
Janie Marden: I've Got My Love To Keep Me Warm

"You look ravishing, Gladys."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E6

EPISODE 6

Originally broadcast: 20 July 1963
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Ern's New Glasses --- Eric's Old Glasses
The Two Fred Astaires --- Eric's Acting Bit: Custer's Last Stand
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The King Brothers: Put On a Happy Face (Medley)
Susan Maughan: she's New to You

"What a lovely mover you are from the back."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E7

EPISODE 7

Originally broadcast: 27 July 1963
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Pile of Matches --- Off to Monte Carlo
Grieg's Piano Concerto --- Eric's Acting Bit: The Cheshire Cat
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The King Brothers: You've Gotta Have Heart
Sheila Southern: Change Partners

"No, I'm playing all the right notes. They're not necessarily in the right order."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E8

EPISODE 8

Originally broadcast: 3 August 1963
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: A Very Talented Man (with Roy Castle
A Big Fan of Your Work (with Roy Castle) --- Visual Art Remedy
Me and My Shadow (with Roy Castle) --- Through the Door (with Roy Castle)
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Roy Castle: Three Blind Mice
Roy Castle: Once Around the Stars, Mr. Moon

"She's got no clothes on!... I was here, you see... And you shouted 'Eric!"... And I came over, and I happened to go... Ha! Ha! Ha!... She's got no clothes on, see... I was over here... And you shouted 'Eric!'... And I've come over... And I was here... And you said 'Come over'... I was here... I was here... I was not there... I was here.... You see."
HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E9

EPISODE 9

Originally broadcast: 10 August 1963
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Personality Test --- Haydn's Quartet
Macbeth --- Eric's Acting Bit: The Count of Monte Cristo
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The Michael Sammes Singers: I'll Know
Shani Wallis: It's a Lovely Day Today

"I've got a big 'un now. It's not as big as Dick's, but it's bigger than yours, Sid."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E10

EPISODE 10

Originally broadcast: 17 August 1963
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Income Tax --- A Short Demonstration of European Trade
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers --- Eric's Acting Bit: Nero
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The King Brothers: Let's Get Away From It All (Medley)
Maureen Evans: The Big Hurt

"Too late... Sid's in with his onions."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E11

EPISODE 11

Originally broadcast: 24 August 1963
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Recognising Famous Faces (with Jill Browne)
Singing the Blues --- Beau Geste
Eric's Acting Bit: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The King Brothers: On the Town (Medley)
Kathy Kirby: The Man I Love

"You've got two penguins for a son. Look at 'em."
HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E12

EPISODE 12

Originally broadcast: 31 August 1963
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Eric's Dog --- New Suit
Wunderbar from Kiss Me, Kate --- Eric's Acting Bit: Gunga Din
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Eric Delaney & His Band
The Michael Sammes Singers: Pick Yourself Up

"I'm no mysterious stranger. It is I, the Lone Ranger."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E13

EPISODE 13

Originally broadcast: 7 September 1963
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Sales Resistance --- Juggling Act
River Romance --- Eric's Acting Bit: Isaac Newton
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The King Brothers: Taking a Chance On Love
Rosemary Squires: Back In Your Own Backyard

"Do you mind? I happen to be a lady."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7
Rate:
Owned Wanted Custom
People who added this item 0 Average listal rating (0 ratings) 0 IMDB Rating 8.2
We've used two other M&W DVD sets for the last three series.
These entries do not represent the DVD contents.
The titles for this series changed to The Morecambe and Wise Show.

SERIES FOUR

(1964)
13 episodes
Series Score: 85
Episode Average: 6.54
Perfect 10's: 3
S4E1

EPISODE 1

Originally broadcast: 4 April 1964
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Fun at the Cinema --- Introduction: Rom-Ti-Ti-Tom-Tom
Japanese Stick Dance --- Chess --- Afraid of the Dark --- Eric's Joke
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Eddie Calvert and the 'C' Men: Flying Trumpet
The Raindrops: Ain't She Sweet?/Come On Dream, Come On

"See that? I'm half asleep."
HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E2

EPISODE 2

Originally broadcast: 11 April 1964
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Ransom --- Introduction: Eric's Wallet
The Touch of Your Lips (with Janie Marden) --- A Medley of Dances
Playing in the Backstreet --- Eric's Joke
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Janie Marden: Happy Days Are Here Again
Kenny Ball and His Jazzmen: I Shall Not Be Moved

"You've got 'em now, 'aven't ya? Look at 'em, big tree trunks. Old knock kneed silver sleeves."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E3

EPISODE 3

Originally broadcast: 18 April 1964
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: The POW Bird --- Cooking For Pleasure
Outlaw Canyon --- Moonlight Bay (with The Beatles) --- Eric's Joke
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The Beatles: This Boy/All My Loving
The Beatles: I Want to Hold Your Hand

"Well, if you're going to have an omelette, have an egg with it."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E4

EPISODE 4

Originally broadcast: 25 April 1964
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Yo-yo Addict --- Battery Hen
Séance --- The Great Composers
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Chris Rayburn: The Gypsy in My Soul
The Viscounts: Them There Eyes/I Saw Her Standing There

"When you've got to yo, you've got to yo... The yo must go on... How many more yos have we got?"
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E5

EPISODE 5

Originally broadcast: 2 May 1964
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
The Case of the Other One --- Introduction: Baldy Morecambe
Two Men with Songs at the Piano --- Photos of Eric
Eric, Conrad and Herbert --- Eric's Joke
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Acker Bilk and His Paramount Jazzband
Jackie Trent: Come Rain or Come Shine

"Don't be silly, you can't do that... Nah, it's rooted.... The hair belongs in your head, not on your shoulders, on your head... The roots go all the way down... They're long roots. You see those little hairs there?... They're roots from your head."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E6

EPISODE 6

Originally broadcast: 9 May 1964
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Eric's Invention --- What Am I Dressed Like This For?
Sand Dance --- Working On a Sketch: Custard Pies
Swingin' Down the Lane --- Eric's Joke
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Patsy Ann Noble: Old Devil Moon

The Fraser Hayes Band apparently appeared,
but their appearance and credit are both missing.

"How long have you got the nerve to stay here like that?"
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E7

EPISODE 7

Originally broadcast: 16 May 1964
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Mime --- The Nudists Over the Fence
"He's Nicking My Food" --- The Mounties (with Edmund Hockridge)
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Edmund Hockridge: My Defences Are Down/The Girl That I Marry
Sheila Buxton: A Handful of Songs

"You'll get a fella in that hat, cheeky."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E8

EPISODE 8

Originally broadcast: 23 May 1964
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Goodwill Visitor --- Introduction: Germs
The Merry England Club --- Understanding the Decimal System
Raving Ringo Beatle & The Other One
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The King Brothers: Sing For Your Supper
Kathy Kirby: Begin the Beguine

"No, not him! Him! He's a lady, Ern... I'm telling you, if my memory serves me right, that is a woman. I'm telling ya."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E9

EPISODE 9

Originally broadcast: 30 May 1964
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Disc Jockeys --- On a Desert Island
Waiters on British Railways --- Musical Accompaniment (with Joe Brown)
Eric's Joke
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Joe Brown and the Bruvvers: Mr Wu's a Window Cleaner Now

Joy Marshall apparently appeared,
but her appearance and credit are both missing.

"I'll tell you who misses me. I'll tell you who misses me. My missus misses me."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E10

EPISODE 10

Originally broadcast: 6 June 1964
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introdiction: New Partner (with Dickie Valentine)
Life in the Modern Army --- The Sergeant
Acrobats --- Three Girls? (with Dickie Valentine)
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Dickie Valentine: Put On a Happy Face

The Four Macs apparently appeared,
but their appearance and credit are both missing.

"That's it. If you look around like that, you'll find that you've got a girl, and you've got a girl. I have one of these."
HOLY GODIVA 1 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 2

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E11

EPISODE 11

Originally broadcast: 13 June 1964
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Satire --- Opera
Beat the Thing --- Singing Around the Campfire
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The Bachelors: I Won't Go Hunting with You Jake/Ramona
Valerie Masters: The Best is Yet to Come

"It's some mad bird screaming her head off."
HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E12

EPISODE 12

Originally broadcast: 20 June 1964
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Wrong Suit --- Julius Caesar: Mark Antony & Caesar
Playing Gooseberry --- Boom Oo Yata-Ta-Ta --- Eric's Joke
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Barbara Law: Too Close For Comfort
Ray Ellington and His Music: Sometime I'm Happy/The Peanut Vendor

"Can you get your leg up?"
HOLY GODIVA - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E13

EPISODE 13

Originally broadcast: 27 June 1964
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Extras --- Working On a Sketch: Girls
Fencing --- Eric's Joke
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Susan Maughan: A Lot of Livin' To Do
Susan Maughan: This Could Be the Start of Something Big (with Eric & Ern)
The Migil 5: Near You/Jesse James

"I can't mean it! He hasn't got an lips at all! Look at him! He's all no mouth! He has't got lips, he's got a gash, it looks like he's cut himself shaving."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6
Rate:
Watched Wanted Custom
The titles for this series stayed as The Morecambe and Wise Show.

SERIES FIVE

(1966)
9 episodes
Series Score: 49
Episode Average: 5.44
Perfect 10's: 0
S5E1

EPISODE 1

Originally broadcast: 22 January 1966
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: The Old Gang --- 5 O'Clock Club Puppet Theatre
The Story of Adam & Eve --- Audience Sing-Along --- Home From the War
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Lulu: It's a Good Day
Paul and Barry Ryan: Have Pity On the Boy

"PUT A PUPPET ON IT!!"
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S5E2

EPISODE 2

Originally broadcast: 29 January 1966
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Photography --- The Ernie Wise Male Voice Choir
The Fatherland --- Home From the War: Funny Walk
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The Morgan James Duo: Sweet Pussycat
Susan Maughan: Teach Me Tonight

"I am as hairy as what he is. He has nein hair on his chest. Not nine nein, but nicht nein. I have fünf hair on my chest. Not fünf nein, but nein fünf. Which in anybody's language is forty-two and a half. He is as bald as a proverbial cooten."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S5E3

EPISODE 3

Originally broadcast: 5 February 1966
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Eric's Tambourine --- The Men From U.N.C.L.E.
Sunflowers --- Can't Get Over Losing You
Home From the War: Yankee Dog
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Jackie Trent: You Baby
The New Faces: Walk Tall

"He's talking to a pen now... Don't worry, don't worry. He's got a penfriend in Auckland, you know."
HOLY GODIVA 1 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 3

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S5E4

EPISODE 4

Originally broadcast: 12 February 1966
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Guard Dog
Moonlight Becomes You (with Millicent Martin)
Intelligent Conversation
Home From the War: Two Women (with Millicent Martin)
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Millicent Martin: Nothing Can Stop Me Now
The Fortunes: This Golden Ring

"Flea-bitten mongrel? He's a thoroughbred, he is! A guard dog, that is, man. A guard dog. Cost me £500 that, at Scruffs."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S5E5

EPISODE 5

Originally broadcast: 19 February 1966
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Sued For Prodding --- Duet For Two Pianos or Four Hands
Looking at Art --- Home From the War: Toy Soldier
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Georgie Fame and the Blue Flames: Seesaw
Julie Rogers: Another Year, Another Love, Another Heartache

"You mean Liberace. He's not like the others. He is one."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S5E6

EPISODE 6

Originally broadcast: 26 February 1966
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Bonzo and Fang --- The Spanish Dance
Casablanca Radio Rehearsal --- Home From the War: Obstacles
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Barbara Law: My Old Man (Said Follow the Van)
The Settlers: Nowhere Man

"Oh, no, don't bother, don't bother with that. Don't go chasing after that. I'll tell you for why, if you fetch it back, he only throws it away again. I don't think he wants it."
HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S5E7

EPISODE 7

Originally broadcast: 5 March 1966
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Eric's Horse --- Story Time
The Fabulous Morecambe Brothers (with The King Brothers)
Home From the War: Faithful
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The King Brothers: Everytime I see You
Toni Eden: Cheek to Cheek

"You don't have to look like each other to be brothers. Do the Beverley Sisters look like brothers?"
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S5E8

EPISODE 8

Originally broadcast: 12 March 1966
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Musical Glasses --- Insect Collection
Village Bell-Ringers --- Home From the War: Suit of Armour
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The Shadows: I Met a Girl
Janie Marden: On a Wonderful Say Like Today

"So, you've got two fat hairy legs. we don't call you a monster, do we? To your face."
HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S5E9

EPISODE 9

Originally broadcast: 29 March 1966
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
Introduction: Home From the War (with Guests)
Four Eyes Morecambe and Porky Wise --- The Clark Sisters
Home From the War: Wife
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Teddy Johnson and Pearl Carr: Do-Re-Mi
Herman's Hermits: You Won't Be Leaving

"Joyce and Lionel Blair? They're not a two woman act. Lionel's gone solo."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6


Only two episodes still exist of the sixth and final series.
The titles were the same as the ones used in the fifth series.
These episodes were made to appeal to the American market,
and were shown there as Piccadilly Palace.
They included a substantial amount of recycled material.

SERIES SIX

(1967)
2 surviving episodes
Series Score:
Episode Average:
Perfect 10's:
S6E1

EPISODE 1

Originally broadcast: 1 October 1967
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
The Changing of the Guard
Introduction: Baldy Morecambe (with Millicent Martin)
The Nest --- Table Tennis --- Eric's Tambourine
Singing Around the Campfire (with Millicent Martin & Jimmie Rodgers)
Through the Door
MUSICAL GUESTS:
Freddie and the Dreamers: The Old Bazaar in Cairo
Jimmie Rodgers: Lonesome Road
Millicent Martin: The Shadow of Your Smile
Freddie and the Dreamers: Brown and Porters (Meat Exporters) Lorry
Millicent Martin: I'm Flying
Jimmie Rodgers: I'll Say Goodbye

"You've got another bird somewhere, haven't ya?"
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S6E2

EPISODE 2

Originally broadcast: 22 October 1967
Written by: Sidney Green, Richard Hills
SKETCHES:
The Great Illusion --- Introduction: Photography
The Other Man --- Jack, Dino and Samantha
The Continuing Story of Peyton Place (with Millicent Martin)
Through the Door
MUSICAL GUESTS:
The Small Faces: I Can't Make It
Millicent Martin: Everybody Says Don't
The Small Faces: All Or Nothing
Bobby Rydell: The Joker
Millicent Martin: The Day That the Circus Left Town
Bobby Rydell: The Impossible Dream

"I've always been interested in it. Then I realised I was getting too old for it, so I took up photography."
HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 4
Rate:
Owned Wanted Custom



Eric & Ern

ERIC MORECAMBE


ERIC BARTHOLOMEW
14 May 1926 – 28 May 1984

SOME OF HIS CHARACTERS:

as...

THE WHITE RABBIT

in... Alice in Wonderland (S2E2)


as...

PC DICK

in... Dick of Doxon Green (S2E6)


as...

GENERAL CUSTER

in... Eric's Acting Bit: Custer's Last Stand (S3E6)


as...

GREAT BRITAIN

in... A Short Demonstration of European Trade (S3E10)


as...

BUFF ORPINGTON

in... Battery Hen (S4E4)


as...

KEPPEL

in... What Am I Dressed Like This For? (S4E6)


as...

THE LAUGHING CAVALIER

in... Looking at Art (S5E5)


as...

TEDDY JOHNSON

in... The Clark Sisters (S5E9)

Rate:
People who added this item 6 Average listal rating (6 ratings) 7.3 IMDB Rating 0

ERNIE WISE


ERNEST WISEMAN
27 November 1925 – 21 March 1999

SOME OF HIS CHARACTERS:

as...

GUITARIST

in... Granada (S2E3)


as...

CASSIUS

in... Julius Caesar: Cassius & Brutus (S2E4)


as...

ALICE

in... Eric's Acting Bit: The Cheshire Cat (S3E7)


as...

MACBETH

in... Macbeth (S3E9)


as...

ANNIE

in... Cooking For Pleasure (S4E3)


as...

A POOR BEGGAR

in... Opera (S4E11)


as...

SUNFLOWER

in... The Sunflowers (S5E3)


as...

DON ERNESTO FILIPPO MANUEL DE CASTILLE

in... The Spanish Dance (S5E6)
Rate:



The Writers



DICK
HILLS

Appears in 33 episodes


Rate:
People who added this item 0 Average listal rating (0 ratings) 0 IMDB Rating 0


SID
GREEN

Appears in 32 episodes


Rate:



Musical Guests


THE KING
BROTHERS

9 episodes
(1963-1966)

Rate:

THE BEVERLEY
SISTERS

5 episodes
(1962)

Rate:

THE MICHAEL SAMMES
SINGERS

5 episodes
(1963)

Also appeared as a choir for a sketch in S5E2
Rate:

TEDDY JOHNSON
& PEARL CARR

5 episodes
(1962-1966)

Rate:

SUSAN
MAUGHAN

4 episodes
(1962-1966)

Rate:
People who added this item 0 Average listal rating (0 ratings) 0 IMDB Rating 0

JANIE
MARDEN

4 episodes
(1962-1966)

Rate:

ACKER BILK
AND HIS PARAMOUNT JAZZ BAND

3 episodes
(1962-1964)

Rate:
People who added this item 0 Average listal rating (0 ratings) 0 IMDB Rating 0

BARBARA
LAW

3 episodes
(1963-1966)

Rate:

MILLICENT
MARTIN

3 episodes
(1966-1967)

Rate:

KENNY BALL
AND HIS JAZZMEN

2 episodes
(1962-1964)

Rate:

ALEX WELSH
AND HIS BAND

2 episodes
(1962)

Rate:

THE MIKE COTTON
JAZZMEN

2 episodes
(1962)

Rate:

ERIC DELANEY
AND HIS BAND

2 episodes
(1962-1963)

Rate:

JOE BROWN
AND HIS BRUVVERS

2 episodes
(1963-1964)

Rate:

SHEILA
BUXTON

2 episodes
(1963-1964)

Rate:
People who added this item 2 Average listal rating (2 ratings) 7 IMDB Rating 0

KATHY
KIRBY

2 episodes
(1963-1964)

Rate:
People who added this item 0 Average listal rating (0 ratings) 0 IMDB Rating 0

JACKIE
TRENT

2 episodes
(1964)

Rate:

TERRY LIGHTFOOT
AND HIS NEW ORLEANS JAZZMEN

1 episode
(1962)

Rate:

THE KAYE
SISTERS

1 episode
(1962)

Rate:
People who added this item 0 Average listal rating (0 ratings) 0 IMDB Rating 0

CHRIS BARBER'S
JAZZMEN

1 episode
(1962)

Rate:

OTTILIE
PATTERSON

1 episode
(1962)

Rate:

THE CLYDE
VALLEY STOMPERS

1 episode
(1962)

Rate:

GEORGE CHISHOLM'S
JAZZERS

1 episode
(1962)

Rate:

HUMPHREY LYTTELTON
AND HIS BAND

1 episode
(1962)

Rate:
People who added this item 2 Average listal rating (2 ratings) 8 IMDB Rating 0

LITA
ROZA

1 episode
(1962)

Rate:
People who added this item 0 Average listal rating (0 ratings) 0 IMDB Rating 0

JACK PARNELL
AND HIS DEBONAIRES

1 episode
(1962)

Rate:

SHEILA
SOUTHERN

1 episode
(1963)

Rate:
People who added this item 10 Average listal rating (10 ratings) 7.7 IMDB Rating 0

ROY
CASTLE

1 episode
(1963)

Rate:
People who added this item 4 Average listal rating (4 ratings) 9 IMDB Rating 0

SHANI
WALLIS

1 episode
(1963)

Rate:

MAUREEN
EVANS

1 episode
(1963)

Rate:

ROSEMARY
SQUIRES

1 episode
(1963)

Rate:

EDDIE CALVERT
AND THE 'C' MEN

1 episode
(1964)

Rate:

THE
RAINDROPS

1 episode
(1964)

Rate:
People who added this item 1384 Average listal rating (1389 ratings) 8.5 IMDB Rating 0

THE
BEATLES

1 episode
(1964)

Rate:

CHRIS
RAYBURN

1 episode
(1964)

Rate:

THE
VISCOUNTS

1 episode
(1964)

Rate:
People who added this item 10 Average listal rating (10 ratings) 7.5 IMDB Rating 0

PATSY ANN
NOBLE

1 episode
(1964)

Rate:

EDMUND
HOCKRIDGE

1 episode
(1964)

Rate:

DICKIE
VALENTINE

1 episode
(1964)

Also sang a number
Rate:

THE
BACHELORS

1 episode
(1964)

Rate:

VALERIE
MASTERS

1 episode
(1964)

Rate:
Load more items (17 more in this list)

Part of the
British Comedy Collection

The better known BBC Morecambe
& Wise series can be found here.

Sketches listed in bold in the main list are the ones we consider to be the best two from each episode
.

SERIES SCORES

Series 1: -
Series 2: 7.31
Series 3: 6.15
Series 4: 6.54
Series 5: 5.44
Series 6: 5.00*
*based on surviving episodes

FAVOURITE SKETCHES

HOLY GODIVA
1. Boom Oo Yata-Ta-Ta
(Series 2, Episode 8 - 1962
& Series 4, Episode 12 - 1964)

2. The Mounties (with Edmund Hockridge)
(Series 4, Episode 7 - 1964)

3. Looking at Art
(Series 5, Episode 5 - 1966)

4. "He's Nicking My Food"
(Series 4, Episode 7 - 1964)

5. Duet For Two Pianos or Four Hands
(Series 5, Episode 5 - 1966)

6. Boxing Match
(Series 2, Episode 1 - 1962)

7. Cooking For Pleasure
(Series 4, Episode 3 - 1964)

8. Introduction: Eric's Wallet
(Series 4, Episode 2 - 1964)

9. Playing in the Backstreet
(Series 4, Episode 2 - 1964)

10. Xylophone Duet
(Series 3, Episode 1 - 1963)

11. Julius Caesar: Cassius & Brutus
(Series 2, Episode 4 - 1962)

12. The Sheik
(Series 2, Episode 8 - 1962)

13. Hamlet: Prince of Denmark
(Series 3, Episode 4 - 1963)

14. Moonlight Bay (with The Beatles)
(Series 4, Episode 3 - 1964)

15. Grieg's Piano Concerto
(Series 3, Episode 7 - 1963)

16. Introduction: Alcoholics Anonymous
(Series 2, Episode 1 - 1962)

17. The Death of Cleopatra
(Series 2, Episode 7 - 1962)

18. Courtroom Scene
(Series 2, Episode 13 - 1962)

19. Battery Hen
(Series 4, Episode 4 - 1964)

20. Haydn's Quartet
(Series 3, Episode 9 - 1963)
ONION JACK
1. Boom Oo Yata-Ta-Ta
(Series 2, Episode 8 - 1962
& Series 4, Episode 12 - 1964)

2. Cooking For Pleasure
(Series 4, Episode 3 - 1964)

3. "He's Nicking My Food"
(Series 4, Episode 7 - 1964)

4. Grieg's Piano Concerto
(Series 3, Episode 7 - 1963)

5. Looking at Art
(Series 5, Episode 5 - 1966)

6. New Suit
(Series 3, Episode 12 - 1963)

7. Boxing Match
(Series 2, Episode 1 - 1962)

8. Julius Caesar: Mark Antony & Caesar
(Series 4, Episode 12 - 1964)

9. The Sheik
(Series 2, Episode 8 - 1962)

10. Xylophone Duet
(Series 3, Episode 1 - 1963)

11. Courtroom Scene
(Series 2, Episode 13 - 1962)

12. The Two Fred Astaires
(Series 3, Episode 6 - 1963)

13. Introduction: Eric's Wallet
(Series 4, Episode 2 - 1964)

14. Duet For Two Pianos or Four Hands
(Series 5, Episode 5 - 1966)

15. Moonlight Becomes You (with Millicent Martin)
(Series 5, Episode 4 - 1966)

16. The Changing of the Guard
(Series 6, Episode 1 - 1967)

17. The Ernie Wise Male Voice Choir
(Series 5, Episode 2 - 1966)

18. Hamlet: Prince of Denmark
(Series 3, Episode 4 - 1963)

19. Haydn's Quartet
(Series 3, Episode 9 - 1963)

20. The Mounties (with Edmund Hockridge)
(Series 4, Episode 7 - 1964)

FAVOURITE EPISODES

HOLY GODIVA
1. Series 4, Episode 7
(1964)
(Best Sketch: The Mounties)

2. Series 2, Episode 8
(1962)
(Best Sketch: Boom Oo Yata-Ta-Ta)

3. Series 4, Episode 2
(1964)
(Best Sketch: Introduction: Eric's Wallet)

4. Series 2, Episode 1
(1962)
(Best Sketch: Boxing Match)

5. Series 4, Episode 3
(1964)
(Best Sketch: Cooking For Pleasure)

6. Series 5, Episode 5
(1966)
(Best Sketch: Looking at Art)

7. Series 2, Episode 4
(1962)
(Best Sketch: Julius Caesar: Cassius & Brutus)

8. Series 3, Episode 7
(1963)
(Best Sketch: Grieg's Piano Concerto)

9. Series 4, Episode 4
(1964)
(Best Sketch: Battery Hen)

10. Series 2, Episode 5
(1962)
(Best Sketch: Zoo Quest)
ONION JACK
1. Series 2, Episode 8
(1962)
(Best Sketch: Boom Oo Yata-Ta-Ta)

2. Series 2, Episode 1
(1962)
(Best Sketch: Boxing Match)

3. Series 4, Episode 7
(1964)
(Best Sketch: "He's Nicking My Food")

4. Series 4, Episode 3
(1964)
(Best Sketch: Cooking For Pleasure)

5. Series 4, Episode 2
(1964)
(Best Sketch: Introduction: Eric's Wallet)

6. Series 2, Episode 5
(1962)
(Best Sketch: Snap!)

7. Series 4, Episode 12
(1964)
(Best Sketch: Boom Oo Yata-Ta-Ta)

8. Series 5, Episode 5
(1966)
(Best Sketch: Looking at Art)

9. Series 3, Episode 7
(1963)
(Best Sketch: Grieg's Piano Concerto)

10. Series 3, Episode 12
(1963)
(Best Sketch: New Suit)

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