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British Comedy: Not Going Out

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People who added this item 27 Average listal rating (20 ratings) 6.9 IMDB Rating 7.8
Not Going Out (2006)
Years: 2006-
Broadcaster: BBC
Genre: Sitcom
Written by: Lee Mack, Paul Kerensa,
Simon Evans, Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths,
David Isaac, Daniel Peak, Milton Jones,
Andrew Collins, Derren Litten, John Archer,
Darin Henry, Georgia Pritchett, Peter Tilbery,
Tim Vine, James Cary, Jack Cutting,
Simon Dean, Oliver Dennis, Terry Dillon,
Megan Dodds, Noel James, Russell Kane,
Stuart Sumner, Danielle Ward, Liam Woodman
Stars: Lee Mack, Sally Bretton
Episodes: 61
Episode Average: 7.688*
BEST EPISODES:
Winner (2009), Camping (2012)
*including specials
Rate:
Watched Wanted Custom

SERIES ONE

(2006)
6 episodes
Series Score: 48
Episode Average: 8.00
Perfect 10's: 1
S1E1

SERIOUS

Originally broadcast: 6 October 2006
Directed by: Alex Hardcastle, Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Andrew Collins
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa
Kate attends a class where she's encouraged to find her inner clown, Lee goes out an a disastrous date with an extremely serious author, and Tim tries to fix his relationship after sleeping with a barely legal 23-year-old.

"You might wanna get some Clearasil on that."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S1E2

DEATH

Originally broadcast: 13 October 2006
Directed by: Alex Hardcastle, Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Andrew Collins
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
The Cast
Tim leaves a message at the flat when his 94-year-old nan dies, a visit to a therapist sees Lee having to deal with his true feelings, and Kate's presence at the funeral seems to offer hope of a reconciliation.

"What is it you can say to Kate but you can't say to me? Apart from, 'Your left leg's Christmas, your right leg's Easter, can I visit you between holidays?'."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S1E3

AUSSIE

Originally broadcast: 20 October 2006
Directed by: Alex Hardcastle, Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Andrew Collins
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Derren Litten,
Paul Kerensa, Tim Vine
Lee has trouble with a kid while handing out leaflets to shoppers, Kate needs a fake boyfriend to impress a successful Australian friend, and Tim struggles to contain his jealousy about the whole situation.

"Because she's been lying, and if she changes her story now, she'll lose face quicker than the A-Team in a maze."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S1E4

STRESS

Originally broadcast: 27 October 2006
Directed by: Alex Hardcastle, Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Andrew Collins
Additional Material: John Archer, Simon Evans,
Russell Kane, Paul Kerensa
Teaching Kate to drive turns out to be a stressful experience for Lee, acupuncture is seen as the only answer when yoga fails to calm things down, and a jealous Tim manages to get himself into the passenger seat.

"If you're gonna dive in that glass, you might want to fill it up first."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S1E5

KID

Originally broadcast: 3 November 2006
Directed by: Alex Hardcastle, Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Andrew Collins
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Derren Litten
Lee's not best pleased at the idea of having a teenager staying in the flat, Tim finds himself in the unusual position of being considered cool, and Kate tries her best to promote her vegan lifestyle to a new canine friend.

"There's no F in way."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S1E6

CARETAKER

Originally broadcast: 10 November 2006
Directed by: Alex Hardcastle, Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Andrew Collins
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Derren Litten
Kate's gutted when a new job means she's minus one annoying flatmate, Lee moves in downstairs as the new property management operative, and Tim encourages a change of heart when he spots a potential rival.

"I didn't understand a word of that. You might as well have said, 'Flapjack tickler required for fluffing up plastic cocksprockets."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6
Rate:
Owned Wanted Custom

SERIES TWO

(2007)
7 episodes
Series Score: 55*
Episode Average: 7.86
Perfect 10's: 1
*not including the Christmas Special.
S2E1

MORTGAGE

Originally broadcast: 7 September 2007
Directed by: Alex Hardcastle
Written by: Lee Mack, Simon Evans,
Paul Kerensa, Peter Tilbury
Tim puts the flat on the market when Kate moves back to the States, Lee tries to put off potential buyers in the hope of securing a mortgage, and a new tenant for the spare room decides to put in an offer of her own.

"Feckless? I've got plenty of feck, thank you very much. You should've heard me fecking this morning when I found out you're selling the fecking flat!"
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E2

GAY

Originally broadcast: 14 September 2007
Directed by: Alex Hardcastle
Written by: Lee Mack, Andrew Collins,
Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa
Tim worries that he's a little too in touch with his feminine side, Lucy needs a big favour after telling a colleague about her gay flatmate, and doubts about Lee's sexuality lead to a test in unfamiliar surroundings.

"The lack of socks isn't a style decision, it's your cleaners fantastic attempt at washing them. I don't know how she does it, in the last twelve months I must have washed these socks over four times... five minutes with her and it looks like the Borrowers have been in the flat."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E3

LIBRARIAN

Originally broadcast: 21 September 2007
Directed by: Alex Hardcastle
Written by: Lee Mack, Simon Evans,
Paul Kerensa, Peter Tilbury
Lee expresses his displeasure at Lucy's boyfriend practically moving in, Tim introduces everyone to his boring new librarian girlfriend, and Guy finds himself confronted while paying a visit to a lap-dancing club.

"Oh, great, so I've got to put up with his old knackers flapping about in the wind every day. If I wanted to see old people naked, I'd watch Debbie Does Eastbourne."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E4

BABY

Originally broadcast: 28 September 2007
Directed by: Alex Hardcastle
Written by: Andrew Collins, Lee Mack,
Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa
Lucy's shocked when she finds out that her boyfriend is a grandfather, Lee and Tim are left looking after a baby when Guy receives an urgent call, and efforts are made to remove a Subbuteo ball from a baby.

"I don't know why people say that. If an adult really did sleep like a baby, they'd wake up every five minutes screaming and covered in their own wee."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E5

ART

Originally broadcast: 5 October 2007
Directed by: Alex Hardcastle
Written by: Lee Mack, Andrew Collins,
Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa
Lee lies about his knowledge of art to impress two of Guy's friends, inside info about an up-and-coming Polish artist proves to be useful, and Lucy's new business venture hits the skids when she invests too heavily.

"I mistyped, I was looking for an old schoolfriend of mine... Alan Entry."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E6

DATING

Originally broadcast: 12 October 2007
Directed by: Alex Hardcastle
Written by: Lee Mack, Andrew Collins,
Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa
Barbara suggests speed-dating as a way to meet somebody special, Lucy's horrified when a bit of sexy phone chat has an unexpected audience, and Lee goes out for a meal with a ditzy hairdresser.

"You took your time, then again, I suppose bishops can only move diagonally, can't they."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S2E7

GANGSTER

Originally broadcast: 19 October 2007
Directed by: Alex Hardcastle
Written by: Lee Mack, Simon Evans,
Paul Kerensa, Peter Tilbury
Lucy laughs off the suggestion that she has become a gangster's moll, Lee spots Guy taking delivery of a suspicious looking package, and Guy offers an explanation for a bag of diamonds found in his office.

"What are we talking here? Is this just coffee and doughnuts or did your droppers have to squirt some lead to get in this cabbage?"
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 9


CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

(2007)



SPECIAL

MURDER AT CHRISTMAS

Originally broadcast: 21 December 2007
Directed by: Alex Hardcastle
Written by: Lee Mack, Andrew Collins,
Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa
Lucy's parents announce that they're spending Christmas with her, Barbara's persuaded to work on Christmas Day to help with the dinner, and Lee surprises everyone with a gift they can all enjoy together.

"Bloody hell, Emu's not looking good, is he?"
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6
Rate:
Owned Wanted Custom

SERIES THREE

(2009)
7 episodes
Series Score: 60*
Episode Average: 8.57
Perfect 10's: 3
*not including the Christmas Special
S3E1

PREGNANT

Originally broadcast: 30 January 2009
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Oliver Dennis, Simon Griffiths,
David Isaac, Liam Woodman
Lucy's worried after discovering that she might be pregnant, Lee finds himself confessing to an inappropriate moment in the bathroom, and Tim struggles to deal with the horror of the whole situation.

"You look like a Borrower eating a bourbon."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E2

WINNER

Originally broadcast: 6 February 2009
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Andrew Collins, Lee Mack
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, David Isaac,
Milton Jones, Liam Woodman
Tim tries to claim on his insurance after driving through a red light, Lee invests in football mugs after winning £1000 in a competition for disabled people, and a mistake on the entry form leads to further lies.

"I don't care. This is our Lord Kevin of Keegan, the People's Perm."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E3

AMY

Originally broadcast: 13 February 2009
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Darin Henry, Lee Mack
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, David Isaac,
Milton Jones, Georgia Pritchett, Liam Woodman
The boys are ecstatic when they discover a lesbian couple living upstairs, Tim worries that a childhood kiss turned a former girlfriend gay, and a dinner date makes Lee rethink his fantasy of two girls together.

"Well, you can't let her down now, look... she's 'cancld' her 'dicters appoontment'."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E4

PARTY

Originally broadcast: 20 February 2009
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, David Isaac,
Danielle Ward, Liam Woodman
Lucy reveals that she plans to go to Venice for her 30th birthday, Lee spoils a surprise when he lies about why he's ringing around her friends, and a plan to make the party couples only backfires spectacularly.

"Who fancies a punch? It's gin, vodka, rum, brandy, Campari, and whisky, and I've added a bit of orange juice as well... for those who don't drink."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E5

NEIGHBOUR

Originally broadcast: 27 February 2009
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Simon Dean
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, David Isaac,
Milton Jones, Stuart Sumner, Liam Woodman
Lee complains to the naughty boy upstairs about his constant loud music, Tim starts going to the gym after growing sick of being seen as a wimp, and the boys get into trouble trying to retrieve a note left by Lucy.

"Nobody in history every solved anything with a note. Winston Churchill used speeches, 'We shall fight them on the beaches. We shall never surrender.' He didn't just leave a little note saying, 'Can whoever's been doing the fascism please be aware that I've complained to Yvonne in Human Resources'."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E6

SPEECH

Originally broadcast: 6 March 2009
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
James Cary, Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths,
Noel James, Liam Woodman
Lucy and Lee both find reason to regret his appointment as her PA, Tim struggles to find his edgy side as he tries to write the perfect speech, and a replacement dress has to found after a disaster at the dry-cleaners.

"Yeah, I reckon the thought of Barbara rubbing me down would eradicate any thought of a Sémillon."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S3E7

MARRIAGE

Originally broadcast: 20 March 2009
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, David Isaac,
Georgia Pritchett, Liam Woodman
Lee's horrified when Lucy announces her plan to marry a political refugee, Tim gives the couple his blessing after going to confront the man, and even Geoffrey and Wendy end up agreeing with their daughter.

"Far being it from me to interfere with Geoffrey... handling himself."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6


CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

(2009)



SPECIAL

ABSENT FATHER CHRISTMAS

Originally broadcast: 23 December 2009
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, David Isaac,
Milton Jones, Liam Woodman
Lucy's furious when bad behaviour ruins Christmas dinner with her parents, Barbara offers a word of advice about toning things down a bit, and Lee refuses to accept that his estranged father is really dying.

"Was that the doorbell or did you just have a really good idea?"
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8
Rate:
Owned Wanted Custom

SERIES FOUR

(2011)
6 episodes
Series Score: 55
Episode Average: 9.17
Perfect 10's: 3
S4E1

DRUGS

Originally broadcast: 5 January 2011
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, David Isaac,
Milton Jones, Liam Woodman
Tim realises he's made a mistake when he finds drugs in his coat pocket, Lee finds himself doing a switch with completely the wrong nutter, and fears of being butchered mean a deal has to be done quickly.

"I've done 'em all, me mate... E's, G's, Bees, Knees. Snap, Crackle, Poppers. Hobnobs. Crystal Tips. Acid Drops. Reefers, Roofers, Joiners. Speed, Speed 2. Charlie, Brown, Snoopy, Droopy. Fred Bassett. Uppers, Downers, Frowners. Frosties"
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E2

DEBBIE

Originally broadcast: 13 January 2011
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Andrew Collins
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Terry Dillon, Simon Griffiths,
David Isaac, Milton Jones, Liam Woodman
Lee thinks his luck's in when a pretty blonde turns up at the door, thoughts soon turn to fatherhood after a revelation on karaoke night, and Tim realises something important about that night twenty years ago.

"Catching up with me? It's overtaken me, turned round, kicked me in the bollocks, and smashed me in the face with an eight-and-a-half stone baby with tits!"
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E3

MOVIE

Originally broadcast: 20 January 2011
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, David Isaac,
Milton Jones, Liam Woodman
Lee goes behind Lucy's back by agreeing to let a film director use the flat, panic sets in when the true nature of the movie becomes clear, and Tim demands a small walk-on part in return for not telling his sister.

"I'm doing my best is what I'm doing. I feel like a midget working in a car wash."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E4

DANCING

Originally broadcast: 27 January 2011
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Darin Henry,
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Jack Cutting, Simon Griffiths,
David Isaac, Milton Jones, Liam Woodman
Lucy and Tim are upset when their parents consider splitting up, Geoffrey decides to move into the flat after a less than helpful chat, and Lee panics when he finds himself being lined up as Wendy's other man.

"No, John Motson's the actor. You know, he was in that film... Being John Malkovich."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 9

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E5

FIREWORKS

Originally broadcast: 3 February 2011
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, David Isaac,
Milton Jones, Liam Woodman
Lee needs money for fireworks when Lucy agrees to a private rooftop display, an old woman wastes no time making herself at home in the flat, and Tim helps with finding where she lives after talk of a cash reward.

"Is this the world's slowest burglary?"
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S4E6

LIFE ON MARS BARS

Originally broadcast: 10 February 2011
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, David Isaac,
Milton Jones, Liam Woodman
Lee wakes up in the flat after being knocked down by a car, a declaration of love makes it clear that it's all just a dream, and the whole thing becomes a nightmare as Frank pops up in the most awkward of places.

"Can you move them back a bit? The last thing I saw when I hit the windscreen was the airbags going off, and it's giving me flashbacks."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8
Rate:
Owned Wanted Custom

SERIES FIVE

(2012)
6 episodes
Series Score: 56
Episode Average: 9.33
Perfect 10's: 4
S5E1

BAND

Originally broadcast: 13 May 2012
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman,
David Isaac
Tim's not happy when his sister lets slip about him fronting a rock band, Lucy finds herself attracting the attentions of the lead guitarist, and Lee's discovers that he's simply not cool enough to be an Auditor.

"Oh, you're really enjoying this aren't you? Well, just you wait till I'm out on that stage, you won't be enjoying it then."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S5E2

DADS

Originally broadcast: 20 April 2012
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak,
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Dave Cohen,
Paul Kerensa, Liam Woodman, Simon Griffiths,
David Isaac
Frank turns up at the door in a wheelchair claiming to have been hit by a bus, Lucy prevents Lee from throwing him back out on the street, and Geoffrey steps in when nobody wants to administer a suppository.

"I have already touched the eel, I'm going nowhere near the starfish."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S5E3

CAMPING

Originally broadcast: 27 April 2012
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack
Additional Material: Liam Woodman, Paul Kerensa,
Simon Evans, Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, David Isaac
Lee insists that no gadgets should be used on a camping trip, things start to go wrong when they discover that Daisy has removed the sat-nav, and Lucy spots shadowy movement in the woods when the car breaks down.

"I think we should calm down. They're clowns, they're probably just after the tents."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S5E4

RUNNING

Originally broadcast: 4 May 2012
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman,
David Isaac
Tim suggests a masseuse when Lee injures himself while training for a fun run, Lucy isn't impressed when she finds a prostitute in the flat, and trying to clear up the misunderstanding only makes matters worse.

"Because she rubbed oil on the top of my legs... Just the tree trunks, not the acorns!"
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S5E5

EXAMINATION

Originally broadcast: 11 May 2012
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Liam Woodman, David Isaac, Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths
Lee's worried about his testicles after taking Lucy's advice to check them, Tim's doesn't know where to look when he's asked to give a second opinion, and a trip to a sauna helps establish what balls should look like.

"Slightly swollen? What are you using for underpants these days? A hammock?! It looks like Right Said Fred sharing one microphone."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S5E6

DRUNK

Originally broadcast: 18 May 2012
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, David Isaac, Simon Griffiths,
Liam Woodman
Lucy challenges Lee to prove his claim that drink can't make people forget stuff, the morning after brings the realisation that they've slept together, and a holiday tape gets mixed-up with a possible sex tape.

"Well, I've found me jeans. Have I got a tripod in me trousers or am I just pleased to see ya?"
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10
Rate:
Owned Wanted Custom
People who added this item 1 Average listal rating (0 ratings) 0 IMDB Rating 6.2

CHILDREN IN NEED SPECIAL

(2012)



SPECIAL

WOGAN

Originally broadcast: 15 November 2012
Directed by: Ed Bye
Written by: Lee Mack
Lucy worries about convincing a client that they didn't poison his carp, Terry Wogan makes a nuisance of himself while collecting donations, and Lee collects money from the audience so they can get on with the show.
Rate:
Watched Wanted Custom

SERIES SIX

(2013)
8 episodes
Series Score: 55*
Episode Average: 6.88
Perfect 10's: 0
*not including the Christmas Special
S6E1

RABBIT

Originally broadcast: 5 April 2013
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Paul Kerensa, Dave Cohen,
Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman, David Isaac
Tim's moved away to Germany for a work placement, Lucy runs over a pet rabbit belonging to a client's young daughter, and Lee's attempt to take the blame hits a snag when he tries to return the wrong rabbit.

"What kind of policemen are dealing with dead rabbits? Cagney & Flopsy? Actually, Starsky & Hutch would've been funnier."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S6E2

SKIING

Originally broadcast: 12 April 2013
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman,
David Isaac
Lucy struggles to enjoy a holiday after having her arms broken at the airport, Daisy jams the cable car mechanism while trying to scare a bird, and Lee has to man up when a pregnant woman goes into labour.

"I have already removed the knickers, never go back to a lit firework."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S6E3

THERAPY

Originally broadcast: 19 April 2013
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman,
David Isaac
Lucy starts a counselling course at night school, Daisy tries to hide the evidence when she breaks an antique phrenology head, and a cynical Lee is challenged to find out more about his relationship with his father.

"Well, go on then, get her out of the packet and start pumping. I want to meet me new stepdoll."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S6E4

CONFERENCE

Originally broadcast: 3 May 2013
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman,
David Isaac
Lucy attends a business conference after advice from her parents, Lee's shocked to discover that he's been a fake husband for two years, and an attempt to put a stop to flirting sees Wendy paired with a younger man.

"I wasn't trying it on, I was just saying that when I see Wendy, it... makes me want to do... rude things... Milf? Milk!"
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S6E5

RACHEL

Originally broadcast: 10 May 2013
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman,
David Isaac
Lucy finds memories of a past relationship while digging around in the loft, Daisy struggles to find the right superhero costume for a hen party, and Lee find himself being blackmailed by a psychopathic stalker.

"Well where I come from, 'canard' is the answer to the question, 'how was your day at work?'"
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S6E6

PLAY

Originally broadcast: 17 May 2013
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman,
David Isaac
Lucy's asked to appear in a play written by a former boyfriend, Lee thinks the story is just a way to reignite old feelings, and a jealous outburst forces Geoffrey to make a last minute change to the cast.

"I will tell you what I'm playing at. I am playing at being her other half, and a bloke wouldn't tolerate some knobhead giving that kind of bullshit to his missus, so I lamped the bastard."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S6E7

MAGIC

Originally broadcast: 24 May 2013
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman,
David Isaac
Lucy agrees to host a birthday party for a nine-year-old after a fire, Lee does a deal with the sinister owner of a local magic shop, and Daisy makes all the tricks disappear when she fails to hand over the money.

"'Badgers shouldn't use be allowed to use zebra crossings, they're only asking for trouble'?"
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S6E8

BOAT

Originally broadcast: 31 May 2013
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman,
David Isaac
Frank invests in a new boat after winning money on the horses, an overnight drift puts Lucy's new confidence around water to the test, and putting Daisy in charge of the emergency dinghy proves to be a mistake.

"Like I've always said... Why buy a big boat to impress a woman when you can go for a little tug instead?"
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5


CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

(2013)



SPECIAL

THE HOUSE

Originally broadcast: 23 December 2013
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Lee invites Lucy's parents to join them for a Christmas in the country, Daisy connects spooky happenings to a picture of a Victorian boy, and the sound of a penny whistle leads to a discovery in the toilet.

"Course you are, you're playing tricks on Lucy because you want to put the willies up her."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8
Rate:
Owned Wanted Custom

SERIES SEVEN

(2014)
9 episodes
Series Score: 55*
Episode Average: 6.11
Perfect 10's: 1
*not including the Christmas Specials
S7E1

MUGGING

Originally broadcast: 17 October 2014
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman,
David Isaac
Lucy's handbag gets stolen during a confrontation with a group of kids, an attempt to gain some boxing skills ends with an embarrassing defeat, and Lee heads back to the subway to do a deal with the ringleader.

"Well, like my old nan used to say, 'Better to be a dog with a bone than a cat with a packet of Jammie Dodgers'."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S7E2

CHRISTENING

Originally broadcast: 24 October 2014
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman,
David Isaac
Lucy's not impressed when new neighbours invite them to a christening, Lee suggests a foot-print plate as an alternative to a bottle of port, and Daisy proves she can count when she spots something rather unusual.

"Ninety quid? We said his foot on a plate, not his kidney on a jet ski!"
HOLY GODIVA 2 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S7E3

DONOR

Originally broadcast: 31 October 2014
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman,
David Isaac
Lucy considers asking a work colleague to donate sperm, Lee's concern only leads to him being asked to provide the necessary materials, and an attempt to get out of it sees Geoffrey asked for his blessing.

"I mean it, Lucy, my crotch is producing nothing without your dad's thumbs-up."
HOLY GODIVA 5 - ONION JACK 5
TOTAL: 10

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S7E4

ANNA

Originally broadcast: 7 November 2014
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman,
David Isaac
Lucy gets to know her neighbours in the hope of being invited to events, Lee resorts to lying about his own business credentials so as not to be left out, and a hen-pecked Toby takes pity and offers a helping hand.

"Yeah, that's the thing about Anna... If you wave enough money around, she'll swallow anything."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S7E5

POINTLESS

Originally broadcast: 21 November 2014
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman,
David Isaac
Daisy asks Lucy to partner her on the television quiz show 'Pointless', a jealous Lee plays a trick to demonstrate his obscure knowledge, and a run of perfect scores creates an air of suspicion in the studio.

"Exactly. Yeah, you can kiss it where it don't shine, sweetcheeks, we are gonna take you down, motherf..."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S7E6

ALCOHOL

Originally broadcast: 28 November 2014
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman,
David Isaac
Lucy threatens to throw Frank out unless he gets help with his drinking, a questionnaire reveals that he's not the only one with a problem, and the group leader is keen to ensure that the flat is a safe environment.

"It's like watching a caterpillar give birth to a weasel."
HOLY GODIVA 1 - ONION JACK 1
TOTAL: 2

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S7E7

SURPRISE

Originally broadcast: 4 December 2014
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman,
David Isaac
Lucy tries to organise a surprise anniversary party for her mum and dad, Toby finds himself diagnosed with middle-class Tourettes, and a less than impressed Geoffrey forces Lee to put a spanner in the works.

"I'm waiting for that man to come out of the toilet so I can go in and inspect what he's done."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S7E8

PLANE

Originally broadcast: 12 December 2014
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman,
David Isaac
Lee's nervousness about flying gets him on the wrong side of a stewardess, concerns grow about a passenger with a suspicious bag, and an overheard conversation leads to an attempt to alert the pilot.

"I'll deal with this, Daisy. That man aroused my interest, so I followed him to the toilet. I got chatting to him outside, but he wouldn't let me go inside the toilet with him. I'm telling you, you've got a very suspicious character onboard this plane."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S7E9

LUCY

Originally broadcast: 19 December 2014
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman,
David Isaac
Lucy tries to build up her confidence in preparation for a job interview, Toby checks that setting up a date for his cousin won't create any problems, and Lee blurts out something that he's never told anyone.

"Because your eyelashes look like two tiny little crows that have smashed into the windscreen of your face."
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5



CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

(2014)




SPECIAL

CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

Originally broadcast: 24 December 2014
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak,
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Dave Cohen, Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman,
David Isaac
A message from Germany forces a last minute change of plan, Lee wakes up in a police cell after his dad pees on a copper's shoes, and Geoffrey finds himself opening up about having a criminal in his family.

"Oh, come on son, you've got to let me give you a lap dance."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8


CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

(2015)



SPECIAL

CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

Originally broadcast: 24 December 2015
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Lee and heavily-pregnant Lucy do some last-minute Christmas shopping, Frank's job in a department store sees him dressed as an elf, and Santa Claus has trouble with his prisoners during an armed-robbery.

"I'm not once of these people who only celebrates Christmas once a year."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8


SERIES EIGHT

(2017)
7 episodes
Series Score: 47
Episode Average: 6.71
Perfect 10's: 0
S8E1

ROMANCE

Originally broadcast: 13 January 2017
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Simon Griffiths, Sarah Morgan, Liam Woodman
Lee worries about romance after eight years of marriage and three kids, Lucy ends up in the bad books after forgetting her wedding anniversary, and a trip on a luxury train is seen as the perfect way to put things right.

"an actual present... Or do you mean me taking your clothes off, because unless you've got some Debenhams vouchers tucked under there, that doesn't count."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S8E2

BABYSITTING

Originally broadcast: 20 January 2017
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Simon Griffiths, Sarah Morgan, Liam Woodman
Anna passes on two tickets for a ballet that she and Toby have already seen, Lee asks Frank to babysit when they run out of better options, and Benji gets Grandpops in trouble after a shocking four-letter outburst.

"So, do you need a lift home, or are you just going to open your umbrella and take off?"
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S8E3

CAR

Originally broadcast: 3 February 2017
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Simon Griffiths, Sarah Morgan, Liam Woodman
Lee hopes for a stress-free journey to France for Lucy's cousin's wedding, a battle to get to the ferry terminal in time leads to a query about bikes, and a last minute decision to defy the sat nav only makes matters worse.

"Yeah, you can't move for all the French on bicycles with strings of onions round their necks, wearing stripey t-shirts, eating croissants, and cheating on their wives with snails."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 7

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S8E4

HOT TUB

Originally broadcast: 10 February 2017
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Simon Griffiths, Sarah Morgan, Liam Woodman
Toby reveals that he's spent time with Emma Bunton at a charity event, Lee pays a visit to the dentist to meet Lucy's fantasy hot tub date, and desperate attempts to make each other jealous get a little out of hand.

"Well, never mind. Let's see you if we can get you into a threesome with Mel B and Mel C, cause a 'Mel A'."
HOLY GODIVA 4 - ONION JACK 4
TOTAL: 8

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S8E5

CHARLIE

Originally broadcast: 17 February 2017
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Sarah Morgan
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Simon Griffiths, Liam Woodman, Guy Venables
Charlie's school report is spoilt by comments from the English teacher, Lee worries that playing the class clown means he'll turn out like him, and Lucy expresses her disgust at a story about a science class incident.

"How many Os in foo-foo?"
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S8E6

MARRIAGE GUIDANCE

Originally broadcast: 24 February 2017
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Simon Griffiths, Sarah Morgan, Liam Woodman,
David Isaac
Lee tries to avoid Geoffrey and Wendy's 50th anniversary holiday snaps, Anna tells Lucy that she's getting help to try and save her marriage, and Toby gets the blame when a counselling session turns out to be awful.

"Unbelievable! Why is it every fad that Anna picks up, you have to follow? Pilates, Spiralizer, Fitbit. I hope they never get mauled by tigers, you'll have me over the fence at Whipsnade with a pocketful of sausages!"
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 2
TOTAL: 5

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


S8E7

ENOUGH

Originally broadcast: 3 March 2017
Directed by: Nick Wood
Written by: Lee Mack, Daniel Peak
Additional Material: Simon Evans, Paul Kerensa,
Simon Griffiths, Sarah Morgan, Liam Woodman
Lee panics when Lucy talks about the possibility of having another kid, Toby explains how he makes Anna agree to doing exactly what he wants, and a tip about manipulation leads to talk about going for a vasectomy.

"You've been taking relationship advice from Frosty the Snowcow?"
HOLY GODIVA 3 - ONION JACK 3
TOTAL: 6
Rate:
Owned Wanted Custom

Characters

People who added this item 0 Average listal rating (1 ratings) 9 IMDB Rating 0
Lee

LEE

Played by Lee Mack
61 Episodes (2006-2017)
in... Movie (2011)

Also appeared in the Children in Need Special
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LUCY

Played by Sally Bretton
55 Episodes (2007-2017)
in... Fireworks (2011)

Also appeared in the Children in Need Special
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DAISY

Played by Katy Wix
40 Episodes (2007-2015)
in... Rachel (2013)

Also appeared in the Children in Need Special
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Tim

TIM

Played by Tim Vine
35 Episodes (2006-2014)
in... Band (2012)

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BARBARA

Played by Miranda Hart*
16 Episodes (2007-2009)
in... Art (2007)

*Also appeared in 2006 as an unnamed acupuncturist.
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GEOFFREY ADAMS

Played by Timothy West
3 Episodes (2007-2009)
in... Murder at Christmas (2007)


GEOFFREY ADAMS

Played by Geoffrey Whitehead
12 Episodes (2011-2017)
in... The House (2013)

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WENDY ADAMS

Played by Deborah Grant
14 Episodes (2006-2017)
in... Murder at Christmas (2007)

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TOBY

Played by Hugh Dennis
12 Episodes (2014-2017)
in... Christmas Shopping (2015)

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FRANK

Played by Bobby Ball
11 Episodes (2009-2017)
in... Life on Mars Bars (2011)

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ANNA

Played by Abigail Cruttenden
9 Episodes (2014-2017)
in... Anna (2014)

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KATE

Played by Megan Dodds
6 Episodes (2006)
in... Death (2006)

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Guy

GUY

Played by Simon Dutton
5 Episodes (2007-2014)
in... The Librarian (2007)

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Part of the
British Comedy Collection
We're not going out,
Not staying in,
Just hanging around with my head in a spin,
But there is no need to scream and shout,
We're not going out.

We are not going out.
Lee's an unambitious man living as a lodger in London. His inability to pay his rent is only ignored because of his cheeky northern charm... and the fact that his best mate used to own the flat.

SERIES SCORES

Series 1: 8.00
Series 2: 7.86
Series 3: 8.57
Series 4: 9.17
Series 5: 9.33
Series 6: 6.88
Series 7: 6.11
Series 8: 6.71

FAVOURITE EPISODES

HOLY GODIVA
1. Winner
(Series 3, Episode 2 - 2009)

2. Camping
(Series 5, Episode 3 - 2012)

3. Drunk
(Series 5, Episode 6 - 2012)

4. Drugs
(Series 4, Episode 1 - 2011)

5. Donor
(Series 7, Episode 3 - 2014)

6. Pregnant
(Series 3, Episode 1 - 2009)

7. Examination
(Series 5, Episode 5 - 2012)

8. Movie
(Series 4, Episode 3 - 2011)

9. Baby
(Series 2, Episode 4 - 2007)

10. Fireworks
(Series 4, Episode 5 - 2011)
ONION JACK
1. Winner
(Series 3, Episode 2 - 2009)

2. Drunk
(Series 5, Episode 6 - 2012)

3. Camping
(Series 5, Episode 3 - 2012)

4. Pregnant
(Series 3, Episode 1 - 2009)

5. Movie
(Series 4, Episode 3 - 2011)

6. Drugs
(Series 4, Episode 1 - 2011)

7. Donor
(Series 7, Episode 3 - 2014)

8. Neighbour
(Series 3, Episode 5 - 2009)

9. Baby
(Series 2, Episode 4 - 2007)

9. Dads
(Series 5, Episode 2 - 2012)

Added to




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