Artists I'll never listen to thanks to Spotify ads

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Showing 5 items

5.8

1. Frankmusik

Frankmusik thought it was a great idea to beat box all over his advert. Sorry Frank, it just makes me think you're a total prick who's not worth the time of day. Accompany this with his smug prick face and edgy mohawk and you've got all the ingredients for someone with as much longevity as monomeric nitrogen.

The Flagship's rating:

6.7

2. Ciara

The hilarious thing about spotify ads is that they sandwich shitty pop songs between the stuff you usually listen to. Consequently there is a direct comparison with the carefully crafted music you like, and the soulless anti-music the execs want you to like! There's only one winner. Ciara sounded so bad I literally laughed out loud.

The Flagship's rating:

7.1

3. Amy MacDonald

Amy MacDonald couldn't sound less enthusiastic about her music if she tried. That's an interesting selling technique. She reads her lines like she's trying to break down advanced particle physics to a three year old, whilst being slightly drunk and wholly Scottish.

The Flagship's rating:

5.8

4. Little Boots

Little Boots' advert is woeful. "Hi I'm Little Boots, download my album" followed by a 20 second snippet of her only release so far. So haven't you got anything else worth sharing from your album, Little Boots? Just this one off piece of uninspiring, 'look at me I've got electronic sounds!' shit?

The Flagship's rating:

6.1

5. Kelly Clarkson

Sweet, Spotify keeps setting them up for me to knock them down. I like to think that the kind of people who use the service are the kind of people who would rather shotgun their own kneecaps than listen to Kelly Clarkson.

The Flagship's rating:

Spotify adverts are there for the sole intention of getting you to listen to whatever pop-rubbish the record company execs can afford to advertise.

However, the adverts are more annoying than three solid months of rain, so I've just grown to resent the advertised artists in question. Thanks to Spotify, I don't even have to listen to their albums before writing off an artist! Talk about taking the power back!