Arnie's Ownage!

326   6   6.2 

Scenario #1
Arnie violently elbows an accompanying henchman in the face whilst sitting next to him on a plane - probably killing him INSTANTLY, but then he breaks his neck for good measure. He conceals the corpse cunningly, underneath a sun hat, before informing the stewardess:

DEATHBLOW: "Don't disturb my friend, he's dead tired!"

Scenario #2
Arnie interrogates a henchman by dangling him over a cliff edge, before dropping him to his demise. Upon returning to his willing female companion, she enquires: "Where's Sully?"

DEATHBLOW: "I let him go."

Scenario #3
After the greatest mismatch in cinema history, Arnie finally finishes duelling with his skinny, camp, chain-mail-wearing Australian nemesis, and throws a vapour-spewing pipe through his stomach for good measure.

DEATHBLOW: "Let off some steam, Bennett!"

Grand Assault's rating:

857   6.4   7.2 

Scenario #1
Arnie has already prevented America from suffering a nuclear Armageddon, but now he has to rescue his daughter with just a harrier jumpjet for company. Eventually a terrorist finds himself strapped to a missile and launched into a nearby helicopter full of more pesky terrorists.

DEATHBLOW: "You're FIRED!"

Grand Assault's rating:

676   6.8   7.4 

Scenario #1
Arnie's wife beats the hell out of him and his new female companion, before pulling out a knife and attempting to kill them both. Arnie finds a piece, shoots the knife out of her hand and despite her pleas not to harm his wife, he shoots her in the head.

DEATHBLOW: "Consider that a divorce!"

Scenario #2
After being attacked by a henchman in a tunnel boring machine, Arnie manages to circumvent the rotating wheels of death and kill the driver with a large drill.

DEATHBLOW: "Screw you!"

Grand Assault's rating:

587   5.3   5.8 

Scenario #1
Whilst driving with no hands, Arnie shoots a guy who flies into an ice cream truck, which explodes, firing an ice cream cone into the back of another villain's head. Killing them instantly.

DEATHBLOW: "Hahaha, iced that guy, to cone a phrase"

Grand Assault's rating:

366   5.4   5.9 

Scenario #1
The plot somehow evolves to pit Arnie against a crocodile. He smashes it over the head with a few miscellaneous items before shooting it in the face.

DEATHBLOW: "You're luggage."

Grand Assault's rating:

358   5.8   6.4 

Scenario #1
Arnie is most on form in this film. After duelling with a heavily armoured gladiator on some massive ice rink, he manages to garotte the formidable foe with razor wire, before boasting to the show's host:

DEATHBLOW: "Here is Sub Zero! Now... Plain Zero!"

Scenario #2
Arnie squares off against a chainsaw wielding maniac who stalks his prey from a Harley. He manages to dismount him before sawing him in half with his own chain saw. Generic female lead then enquires: "Where's Buzz saw?"

DEATHBLOW: "He had to split!"

Scenario #3
This time it's 'Fireball' who is chasing Arnie down and he's packing some serious heat. Arnie douses him in something that is probably petrol from his own backpack and then chucks a lit flare in his direction, resulting in a massive explosion and another dead stalker.

DEATHBLOW: "What a hot head!"

Grand Assault's rating:

773   7   7.8 

Scenario #1
Arnie and his group of ultimate bad arses are storming a jungle encampment filled with pesky guerilla rebels when one appears off screen. Arnie wastes no time in throwing a machete the size of Alaska into his hapless foe, impaling him through the stomach onto a tree behind him.

DEATHBLOW:: "Stick around!"

Grand Assault's rating:

994   5.9   6.6 

Scenario #1
As an obsolete Terminator, Arnie saves John Connor by crashing a helicopter into the Terminatrix. Then, he holds open a blast door whilst holding back the superior terminator, before finishing her off by jamming a hydrogen fuel cell in her mouth.

DEATHBLOW: "You are TERMINATED."

Grand Assault's rating: