Alien Visitors: Awesome or Lame?

2297   7.1   7.9 

E.T. - Awesome


He's short, slow-moving, barely intelligible and looks like a pile of three-month-old bananas. So why is E.T. awesome? He can heal cuts, bring plants to life, get someone drunk telepathically, and turn your BMX into a private plane.

350125g0's rating:

14   3.7   2.9 

Mysterious Alien Creature aka MAC - Lame


Mac is sort of like E.T., except that by the end of the movie, you're actually hoping that scientists dissect him. Where E.T. was so ugly he was cute, Mac goes all the way around back to ugly. He can breakdance, though, which he does at a McDonald's. With Ronald McDonald. And his name is "Mac". At least when E.T. shilled for Reese's Pieces he was subtle about it.

350125g0's rating:

1186   7   7.4 

Optimus Prime - Awesome


He's about 30 feet tall and changes into a Peterbilt. That, in and of itself, is awesome. Add to it an energy rifle, some ion cannons, two energon blades, and a fundamental respect for all living things, and you've got a guy that won't even let dying slow him down.

350125g0's rating:

6   1   3 

Ro-Man - Lame


Ro-Man, the merciless alien robot who inexplicably looks like a gorilla wearing a space helmet, destroyed nearly every person on the planet with his fearsome "Calcinator" death ray. Then, his attraction to a human woman makes him question his mission. But it was all a dream. Or was it? Eh, who cares.

771   7   7.8 

The Predator - Awesome


Some aliens arrive in peace, some are out to conquer. The Predator came to take us out one by one. He stands over seven feet tall, can disappear with cloaking technology and has the best dreads outside of the Caribbean.

350125g0's rating:

122   2.9   2.3 

Terl - Lame


Terl, the sneering, eight-foot-high Psychlo security chief with vinyl upholstery clothes and Milli Vanilla hair, really wants to get off Earth. And after five minutes of watching this mind-numbing mess, you'll really want him off the planet too.

165   6.7   6.9 

The Ghouls - Awesome


On the outside, they appear to be bank managers, business executives and politicians. No different from any other yuppie. But if you look at them through some very special sunglasses, you can see both their frightening alien faces and their subliminal messages with the command: "Obey."

154   5.4   4.9 

Mac, Wiploc and Zeebo - Lame


Three alien dudes from the planet Jhazzala crash in an L.A. swimming pool and what do they do? Decimate the populace with ray guns? No. They shave off their DayGlo fur and hit the town looking for chicks. Aliens are supposed to act like fearsome conquerors, not rejects from Entourage.

1402   5.9   6.3 

The Martians - Awesome


Plenty of interstellar beings have tried to take our planet as their own. None before or since seemed to enjoy it as much as the Martians did. They vaporized Congress, flattened Vegas, put Sarah Jessica Parker's head on a Chihuahua, and laughed while doing it. At least, their squawks kind of sounded like laughter...

350125g0's rating:

235   4.5   4 

Howard the Duck - Lame


Really, what's left to say about Howard the Duck? He's short, he's badly mannered and he's generally unpleasant. He doesn't have special powers, or advanced technology, or any greater understanding of the universe. So how is it that he's able to charm Lea Thompson?

350125g0's rating:

363   7.1   7.6 

The Borg - Awesome


The crews of the various starships named Enterprise faced many dangerous species in the far reaches of space. The Borg, however, brought the fight home. These cyborgs traveled back in time to end humanity, assimilating anyone who got in their way. Resistance was very nearly futile.

76   4.8   4.8 

Dave Ming-Chang - Lame


Dave is actually a robotic vehicle for a race of little aliens called Nillians. Dave looks just like the tiny commander who pilots him. Dave picks a weird name and seems completely confused by Earth customs, even though the Nillians seem to be just like us, just smaller. It seems like the size of the laughs in this movie is directly proportional to the size of said aliens.

116   6.7   7.3 

The Pod People - Awesome


Vegetation from outer space has been replacing humans in their sleep since their first invasion in 1956. Each time, they copy people so precisely even their closest friends don't realize it until it's too late. What is it that distinguishes their attempt to take over the world in the '70s? They won.

148   4.9   3.6 

The Grave Robbers - Lame


Can your heart stand the shocking facts of grave robbers from outer space? They arrived in their flying saucers that look suspiciously like paper plates on strings, and they awakened an army of reanimated corpses. Well, not an army, exactly. They awakened three corpses. Maybe it wasn't the greatest plan, but apparently it was better than numbers one through eight.

350125g0's rating:

430   6.2   6.7 

General Zod - Awesome


After being accidentally released from their imprisonment in the Phantom Zone, Zod and his followers, Ursa and Non, descended to Earth. Their mission: find the only other Kryptonian survivor, Kal-El, and destroy him. When someone with all of Superman's powers but none of his morals tells you to kneel before him, you'd better do it.

106   5.6   5.5 

Killer Klowns - Lame


Clowns try to be funny, but oftentimes they are just scary. Aliens try to be scary, but sometimes they end up being funny. So why is it that alien clowns are neither funny nor scary? Even the 30-foot-tall "Klownzilla" doesn't elicit a laugh or a scream. Just a puzzled, "Huh?"

81   7.3   6.7 

Thomas Jerome Newton - Awesome


As aliens go, it's hard to get much cooler than Newton. He's a starman who makes a killing hawking alien technology, and he looks groovy - if freakishly otherworldly - while doing so. But the real reason Newton is awesome is because he's played by the original space oddity, David Bowie. And there are few beings on the planet, terrestrial or otherwise, cooler than him.

350125g0's rating:

311   5.2   5.6 

Klaatu - Lame


Klaatu was an alien ambassador, a creature of peace who is attacked for being different. He develops compassion for humankind, but he is also stern in his warning that we must learn to live in harmony. At least, he did in the 1951 original. In the remake, he's just Keanu Reeves: emotionless, unreadable and vacant.

372   5.1   5.6 

Sil - Awesome


Just being intergalactically hot doesn't automatically qualify her as awesome. She's awesome because she's incredibly strong, can outsmart government scientists and kill people with her tongue. Plus, she can morph into an H.R. Giger-designed creature. But being attractive doesn't hurt.

1906   6.4   6.5 

Aliens with stupid weaknesses - Lame


Large-scale alien invasions are often thwarted by the smallest things. In War of the Worlds it was germs. In Signs it was water. But lamest of all were the invaders in Independence Day who were beaten by spyware. Don't aliens know not to open email attachments from an unfamiliar sender? If you're going to take over a planet, make sure your Norton Anti-Virus is up-to-date.

350125g0's rating:

350   7.8   8.4 

The Prawns - Awesome


They're here by accident. Their ship came to a standstill over South Africa, and they were found starving and sickly inside. We put them in slums to scavenge for food, and we derisively named them after the shellfish they vaguely resemble. But they are very strong, smarter than we know and determined to get back home.

350125g0's rating: