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Added by The Flagship

on 8 Oct 2008 09:24

27
1928 Views 10 Comments

Actors who would play me in a story of my life.

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Sort by: Showing 10 items
Average listal rating (169 ratings) 6.8  IMDB Rating
1. Barry Pepper
Career-Path: Eternal student
Era: Late-teens
Identical traits: Aryan vibe, inability to grow a proper beard.

Nobody reminds me of myself during the college days more than ol' Baz. The open shirts, the jawline, the speaking in bible scripture, it's all flooding back. As this is the only life era I've actually experienced, you can be sure my casting here is second to none.
The Flagship's rating:

Average listal rating (346 ratings) 7  IMDB Rating
2. David Duchovny
Career-path: Government Spook
Era: Early-thirties.
Identical traits: Dead pan, sarcasm, monotony, book-smarts.

As Fox Mulder he's always the star of the show. Exuding charisma and raw intelligence, you may ask who he has used as a role-model for such performances. I promised D-squared that I wouldn't tell anyone about our friendship, so you'll have to keep guessing. A man who gets away with offending all those around him because of his raw skill and innate talent is surely a man after my own heart.
The Flagship's rating:

Average listal rating (330 ratings) 6.9  IMDB Rating
3. Ray Liotta
Career-path: Career criminal
Era: Late-thirties.
Identical traits: Identical hairline, incredulous expression, silent exterior masking a psychotic demeanour.

Ray has always been first choice for my inevitable Hollywood biopic. Who knows what the future will hold? If it all turns sour and a life of crime appeals more than an honest wage, then Liotta would be a perfect addition. I think I've seen enough gangster films by now to know how to survive in the Cosa Nostra. Just don't ever sit in the front seat.
The Flagship's rating:

Average listal rating (1343 ratings) 7.9  IMDB Rating
4. Christopher Walken
Career-path: Scientist
Era: Early-forties
Identical traits: Outlandish hair, dead gaze, pale skin, permanent grimace.

Given I am actually a scientist, Walken is no doubt waiting for the call as we speak. In a little known fact, Tim Burton got the outfit idea for Max Schrek after a drinking session with yours truly. Scientists who are tragically consumed by their work always grab public sympathies. Couple that with natural charisma and you're laughing all the way to the Academy Award.

The Flagship's rating:

Average listal rating (171 ratings) 7.7  IMDB Rating
5. James Coburn
Career-path: General
Era: Early-forties
Identical traits: Integrity, inspires confidence, reluctant leader, reliable.

Who knows, if a war broke out and I couldn't even dodge conscription with my shopping receipt of qualifications, I might be called up to the front lines to lead her majesty's finest into battle. If so, Coburn would have to return from the dead and do a sterling job at portraying my faultless, multiple-medal earning war-time career.
The Flagship's rating:

Average listal rating (252 ratings) 7.5  IMDB Rating
6. Rutger Hauer
Career-path: Wandering artist, poet and writer.
Era: Late-forties
Identical traits: Aryan vibe, wordsmith, inspirational.

Undoubtedly my most likely career path given the warm and loving heart I possess. The only man who ever got the better of Harrison Ford could easily fill my shoes.
The Flagship's rating:

Average listal rating (72 ratings) 5.7  IMDB Rating
7. Paul Guilfoyle
Career-path: Jaded lawman
Era: Early-fifties
Identical traits: Receded hairline, 90% forehead/10% expressions, resentment of all things criminal.

According to all erroneously-coded facial recognition software, my 23-year-old self looks like Pauly. After taking mild offence I learned to embrace the big man and face the fact that even if I don't look like him now, I will look like him one day.
The Flagship's rating:

Average listal rating (404 ratings) 8.6  IMDB Rating
8. Cary Grant
Career-path: Statesman
Era: Early-fifties
Identical traits: Reserved, stylish, smooth, debonair.

There comes a time in every man's life when the lure of becoming an inspirational statesman becomes too much to resist. With all the suaveness of James Bond, with none of the lusty perversions or bad scripts, it wouldn't be long before I was leading this country to greatness, with the rest of the world riding my coat-tails to world peace.
The Flagship's rating:

Average listal rating (294 ratings) 7.2  IMDB Rating
9. Gabriel Byrne
Career-path: Multi-millionaire banker
Era: Late-fifties
Identical traits: Sunken eyes, stare that can stop a heart, suggestion of possession by a higher being.

The poor-man's Al Pacino is still wealthy enough to play a part in my life. There's no way you become a successful business man by being a fop. If I ever turn out this way it'll be because of my ability to strike the fear of God into my enemies and colleagues. I've already mastered it, luckily so has Gabe, so he gets the job.
The Flagship's rating:

Average listal rating (13 ratings) 8.2  IMDB Rating
10. John Thaw
Career-path: Cuddly Grandad
Era: The winter of my life
Identical traits: Apparently I look like him, grumpy, inquisitive, observant, devout Londoner.

Everyone shed a tear when Inspector Morse died (and his theme tune died with him). Even more people cried when Thaw died in real life. I can only imagine at least double that many people will be weeping when I finally pass. But Thaw will have to do. I'll be remembered as a cuddly granddad and permanently disgusted man of justice.
The Flagship's rating:


 

A selection of Hollywood's finest, who might just have had what it takes to play me in a story about my insurmountable existence on this planet.

Nobody can predict the future, but I've included some of my more likely career choices, what age I might be undertaking such endeavours and, most importantly, who I would hire to play me during these productive and highly entertaining periods of my life.

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Comments

Posted: 5 years, 9 months ago at Oct 10 0:23
:-)
Posted: 5 years, 9 months ago at Oct 11 2:40
Mines a comin' buddy.
Posted: 5 years, 9 months ago at Oct 11 12:01
You could up this to 15 bruv with Brendan Gleeson, Paul Merton, Tim Reid, Jake & Gary Busey!
Posted: 5 years, 9 months ago at Oct 16 15:02
oh, this is SO getting my vote, mostly coz of the EGOISM it screams out! lol
Posted: 5 years, 7 months ago at Dec 2 0:27
Definitely should've added a copyright.
Posted: 5 years, 7 months ago at Dec 2 14:54
Very creative list. No question it's receiving my vote.
Posted: 5 years, 5 months ago at Feb 2 0:23
Got me thinkin'....
Posted: 4 years, 5 months ago at Jan 26 5:31
I love Barry Pepper, too; but isn't he in his 30s? Some of these others are off by a lot, too. Maybe I'm missing something here...
Posted: 3 years, 1 month ago at May 24 16:25
Nobody cares how old an actor actually is, they can play any age group in today's world!
Posted: 2 years, 11 months ago at Aug 12 5:12
"The Flagship" you are correct in that statement. Many times has an actor played a character 10 or maybe even 15 or so years younger than he or she really is.

Very interesting and creative list, voted!
Edit: 2 years, 11 months ago

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