Bernard Pivot's 10 Questions (UPDATED 8/15/11)

7.6  

1. What is your favorite word?
The only word that comes to mind just because I like the way it sounds is "Scotch."

2. What is your least favorite word?
When I'm reading, I don't like unnecessary things like, "I thought" or "he said."

3. What turns you on?
Sometimes rabbits, like, turn me on. I don't know why.

(Lipton: That's fine. I too have met an attractive rabbit.)

4. What turns you off?
I don't really get turned on when I'm embarrassed. It turns me off.

5. What sound or noise do you love?
Like Motown. I don't know.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
There are a few people's voices that yeah, it's just like -- I probably shouldn't say their names, but people I've been forced into tight quarters with.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
One of the swear words I, for whatever reason, tend to use when I'm alone is "shitburger." I don't know why, but when I do something stupid, I say, "Aww, shitburger." I don't know where it comes from.

(Lipton: Seventeen years I've waited for that one.)

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Well, I've been writing and directing and so yeah those are things I'm doing.

9. What profession would you not like to do?
If you had to design weapons, you'd probably feel pretty bad about yourself I would think.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
That you lived to the fullest and yeah, that you helped some people.

7  

1. What turns you on?
When my publicist texts me a link to a magazine's website that shows a picture of me kissing a famous man who can be best described as a solid B+ or above and has at least 20 IMDB credits to his name.

2. What turns you off?
An empty Smart Water bottle (SOLD in the bottled water section of your local grocer!)

3. What is your favorite word?
Uncool.

4. What is your least favorite word?
I'll give you a hint. Starts with "Angelina" ends with stealing your fucking husband!

5. What sound or noise do you love?
Meow.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
The sound of the spoon scraping the last drop of cake batter from the bowl after I've just had "the talk."

7. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
The person who gets to turn down celebrity adoptions from third world countries.

8. What profession other than yours would you not want to attempt?
Grave digger at a stuffed animal cemetery.

9. What is your favorite swear word?
Maddoxyoulittlefuckingshitifuckinghateyou!

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say to you as you enter the Pearly Gates?
"Brad says you did it better, bitch."

Sewanee8's rating:

7.4  

1. What is your favorite word?
Cunt

2. What is your least favorite word?
Cunt

3. What turns you on?
People who are intellectually or creatively curious, like Robert DeNeiro.

4. What turns you off?
People who are NOT intellectually or creatively curious, like our president.

5. What sound or noise do you love?
My daughter's laugh.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Screeching tires... you hear just moments before something bad is about to happen.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck. It's so versatile. We use it as a bridge in conversation in Boston.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Director

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Apparently it was a god job, but in the French court, there was a person who's sole job was to wipe the King's ass.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
That all of the suffering that you saw, knew about or heard was happening... that there was a point to it... come on back and I'll tell you about it.

8.3  

1. What is your favorite word?
Print

2. What is your least favorite word?
Spelunker

3. What turns you on?
Spit-balling

4. What turns you off?
Motives

5. What sound or noise do you love?
Uncontrollable snorting laughter

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Custom ringtones

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Sonofacocklovingwhore

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Inventor

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Trespassing paparazzi

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Boy, did I have a ball with you.

8.7  

1. What is your favorite word?
Why

2. What is your least favorite word?
No

3. What turns you on?
Breathing

4. What turns you off?
Not breathing

5. What sound or noise do you love?
My daughter's voice

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Vacuum cleaner

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Shit

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Writer

9. What profession would you not like to do?
President of the United States

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Wow.

7.6  

1. What is your favorite word?
Cloaca... it's part of a bug, it's a combination of a vagina and asshole

2. What is your least favorite word?
Cunt... it's so negative

3. What turns you on?
My wife's laugh

4. What turns you off?
Violence towards children

5. What sound or noise do you love?
*fart sound*

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Screeching brakes... it implies that something bad is about to happen.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Pussy... it's so warm

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Neurologist or theoretical physicist

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Bomb tester

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
There's seating near the front... or, just to know there's laughter, that would be a good thing. To hear God say "Two Jews walk into a bar..."

8.6  

1. What is your favorite word?
No... I've spent so much of my life saying "yes," when I should have said "no."

2. What is your least favorite word?
Cool

3. What turns you on?
Being alive... and in America.

4. What turns you off?
Too much talk

5. What sound or noise do you love?
The sea

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Chalk on a blackboard

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Composer

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Running a pub

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
What were you doing down there?

8.2  

1. What is your favorite word?
Marsupial

2. What is your least favorite word?
Whatever

3. What turns you on?
Eye contact

4. What turns you off?
Financial advise

5. What sound or noise do you love?
The sound of the acoustic guitar when played badly

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Ringing telephone

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck and any cognate of it.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Singer in a rock and roll band

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Financial adviser

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
No hard feelings.

8  

1. What is your favorite word?
Heart

2. What is your least favorite word?
Flabbergasted

3. What turns you on?
Shakespeare

4. What turns you off?
Environmental desecration and pollution

5. What sound or noise do you love?
Silence

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Muzak

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck on a normal day, cunt on bad one

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Protecting wildlife

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Tabloid gossip columnist

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
You've got the part.

7.8  

1. What is your favorite word?
Pusillanimous

2. What is your least favorite word?
Hollywood-bad-boy

3. What turns you on?
Well constructed sentences

4. What turns you off?
False accusations

5. What sound or noise do you love?
Deep sounds, like the cello

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
T.V. from another room

7. What is your favorite curse word?
A curse word by itself is nothing. You need to give it some juice; you need to give it context; and, you then you need to apply some passion... fuck me swinging.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Some variation of my current profession... something in design

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Politics

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Heaven DOES exist and he will probably say G'day.

6.6  

1. What is your favorite word?
Vergorous

2. What is your least favorite word?
Mediocre

3. What turns you on?
Signs

4. What turns you off?
Un-professionalism

5. What sound or noise do you love?
Cricket ball hitting the bat

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Pencil lead when it breaks off and the pencil rubs against the paper

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Bollocks

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Journalism

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Miner

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Bet you're surprised to see me?

7.4  

1. What is your favorite word?
Now

2. What is your least favorite word?
No

3. What turns you on?
Something raw... that's the only way I can explain it.

4. What turns you off?
Something false

5. What sound or noise do you love?
My son when he gets in bouts of hysterical laughter

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Children in pain

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Explorer

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Anything that's the same job day in and day out

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
You ARE allowed in.

Sewanee8's rating:

7.6  

1. What is your favorite word?
Anti-disestablishmentarianism

2. What is your least favorite word?
No

3. What turns you on?
Watching people work hard

4. What turns you off?
Laziness

5. What sound or noise do you love?
I can't share that HERE.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Fingernails on a chalkboard

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Motherfucker... it fits in a lot of different places

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Computer scientist

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Professional sports

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Good work, dog.

6.4  

1. What is your favorite word?
New

2. What is your least favorite word?
Queef

3. What turns you on?
A sense of humor

4. What turns you off?
Ugly feet

5. What sound or noise do you love?
Silence

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
My children crying

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Cunninlingus

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
School teacher

9. What profession would you not like to do?
*this question was actually skipped; as, Eddie found what he believed to be a pubic hair in his glass of water*

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
That was a good one.

8.4  

1. What is your favorite word?
Fuck

2. What is your least favorite word?
Can't

3. What turns you on?
The sound of a sail being set and the engine being shut down

4. What turns you off?
Intrusiveness

5. What sound or noise do you love?
An engine being shut down and the wind catching hold of the sail

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Fingernails on a chalkboard

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Any computation of the word fuck

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Writer

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Prize fighter

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Alright, let's do it again.

7.4  

1. What is your favorite word?
Energy

2. What is your least favorite word?
Boring

3. What turns you on?
Vulnerable expression in an artistic form

4. What turns you off?
Cynicism

5. What sound or noise do you love?
The sound of someone I love breathing

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
The sound of a woman screaming when you know something awful has happened

7. What is your favorite curse word?
You motherfucking cocksucker *in Italian*

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Conductor

9. What profession would you not like to do?
It would be tough to be a soldier.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Hey, you hungry?

8.1  

1. What is your favorite word?
Languer

2. What is your least favorite word?
Genius

3. What turns you on?
Confidence

4. What turns you off?
Arrogance

5. What sound or noise do you love?
My dog yawning

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
The sirens in Europe... I'm Jewish!

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Your mother's vagina *in Hebrew/Arabic*

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Doctor

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Paparazzi... it's a terrible, terrible job. I don't know how they sleep at night.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Anything good that you've done in your life, you didn't do it in order to get into Heaven.

Sewanee8's rating:

8.7  

1. What is your favorite word?
Anodine

2. What is your least favorite word?
No

3. What turns you on?
Everything

4. What turns you off?
Lying

5. What sound or noise do you love?
Soft rain

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
The dentist drill

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Oh, fuck it!

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
A good doctor

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Furniture mover

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Rehearsal's tomorrow at 3:00.

8  

1. What is your favorite word?
Skylar

2. What is your least favorite word?
Dump truck... ash tray

3. What turns you on?
Reading about language

4. What turns you off?
People who are pretentious or arrogant

5. What sound or noise do you love?
The sigh

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
A truck backing up... BEEP, BEEP, BEEP

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Mother fucker

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Trial lawyer

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Any profession where I would have to answer to someone else without a vote

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Now we're going to have some fun around here.

8.5  

1. What is your favorite word?
I use tranquilo a lot.

2. What is your least favorite word?
Ubiquitous. It's too "in." I don't like to be in, I like to be out.

3. What turns you on?
I think I'm turned on by people who have a great sense of humor.

4. What turns you off?
Just cliche.

5. What sound or noise do you love?
The trumpet.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
I've never been a rock and roll guy. I'll tell you why... I went through the whole 60's and 70's and never really kind of got into it, because it always seemed... if I wanted to hear that three chord change music, I'd much rather listen to rhythm and blues. It's a black person's art and it was invented by Blues players and people came up out of the South and it's those people who, when I hear the spin-offs... it just doesn't work for me.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
J.A.M.F. (Lipton asks if that's an acronym) Jive ass mother fucker (Eastwood says he learned it from Red Foxx)

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Play at Carnegie Hall

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Politics, but I've already done that... I wouldn't want to go any further.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Welcome. You can stay up here forever and never go anywhere else... and you have 72 virgins all waiting for you.